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  2. Following as I'm having constant outbreaks and post herpetic neuralgia.
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  4. I’m 26 and I had my first anal herpes outbreak start two ish weeks ago. It started as a little bit of pressure down there and then culminated in me shedding tears when trying to go to the bathroom, and getting nauseous and sweaty from the pain. It never looked that bad externally but the pain was mainly internal. Cut to two weeks later and I’m 99% clear on the outside of my body, and the pain when sitting is totally gone, but I still feel an ulcer or something inside (which I originally thought was a hemorrhoid until the nurse said it was herpes). But, it still feels like there’s a blockage when I try to poop. It hurts (though not as bad as before), and the poop all comes out in Rolo sized pebbles, hard and causing me to bleed a little. My Valtrex round finished 4 days ago, but do I need more to get rid of this internal blockage? What should I do? Thank you!
  5. @Flowerteacher55, THANK YOU, very much for your reply and for your VERY kind words!!! Footprints is one of my ALL time favorite messages from above and I sooo appreciate you sharing it with me as I’ve never thought of it in connection to this hsv battle!!! That REALLY helps!!! I do remain hopeful and prayerful that we will find a way to turn this nightmare around sometime soon!!! As I mentioned above I also have Lyme Disease and actually believe that healing from that is what activated the virus 4 years ago and sadly it basically hasn’t stopped since it started!!! I appreciate all the prayers and any support or suggestions anyone may have!!! Thank you again and God Bless!!!! Hope
  6. @Roset, I felt the same way when I read your initial post, less alone, so thank you!! I am 55 and have been symptomatic and have had confirmed hsv2 for 4 years. It has been a true nightmare as I have symptoms more than I don’t and they are progressively getting worse. I’ve had outbreaks on my genitals, mouth, hands, stomach, big toe, face and now VERY sadly on and in my eyes. I started wearing gloves to put on my face moisturizers as well as my body lotion as I am obviously spreading it without realizing it. I’m literally afraid to touch myself or anyone else. I feel like everything the doctors have told me and everything I’ve read that couldn’t or wouldn’t or shouldn’t happen has!!! I feel very defeated personally but like you I do push through and maintain a positive attitude and outlook as much as possible!!!! I also am battling Lyme Disease and believe that’s what activated the virus for me, so I have a double whammy!!! But I refuse to give up my hope, faith and my will that some day I too will live a life free of both of my active diseases!!! It “really” breaks my heart to see someone as young as you battling this at this level too!!! As mentioned you are not alone and thank you again for letting me know I am not either!!! Please know you have been and will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers!!! God Bless!!! Hope
  7. Hello! I hope you are feeling better today! Ugh, yes, 'sneaky' is the perfect word to describe H. 'Sassy,' 'bothersome,' and 'annoying,' are my other top words haha. It's great that you have antivirals. Things should start to clear up 🙂 If your partner did contract it, it isn't your fault. You didn't even realize it was prodrome, especially since these symptoms weren't like the first time! Just tell your partner to be aware for any prodrome symptoms. It will be okay ❤️ I'm sure that you feel guilty or ashamed, but let those feelings go. Love is so powerful, and I am sure your partner understands ❤️ Blessings! -- Grace
  8. Hello! I totally feel for your worries and struggles. Please know that you are not alone! We are here to help 🙂 Condoms get such a bad rap... "too uncomfortable," "I can't get an erection," "blah blah blah." Well, pal, protection is important! Consent to have unprotected sex is ESSENTIAL, so if you aren't 100% in, then don't fall under the pressure. Your body matters! Also, if someone rejects you, that shows who THEY are, not who YOU are! You are a wonderful blessing, not a dirty or bad person. You are a human with a common virus, and you have a right to want to protect yourself (and you are being honest and protecting that person, too!). You are being respectful and kind in talking to them about your H, and advocating for yourself and what YOU want (condoms to be used). If they don't want to be respectful and kind back to you, that is on them, and they are chumps. You did nothing wrong! ❤️ The way people treat you is NOT a reflection of you. ❤️ Now let's say someone is respectful and kind, but they still struggle with sexual dysfunction from condoms (or just in general). In terms of what could help, there are many options! Internal Condoms: Have you looked into internal condoms? They are wonderful because they give you the ability to choose protection; you don't need to rely on your partner. Also, they can be inserted four hours before sex, too! So let's say you aren't sure if a date will end in sex, you can insert it just to be safe. This way, there is protection, and he would not need to wear (or remember) a condom. Internal condoms are not as effective for preventing pregnancy as external condoms, but they do offer a little extra skin covering protection, as there is an outer ring that covers a little bit of the external/inner labia. Learn more about them here!: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/internal-condom/how-do-i-use-an-internal-condom and here! https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/female-condoms/ Condoms Galore: There are SO many types of condoms out there. Different materials, lubricants, etc, all may affect each person differently. So, if someone can't have an erection or preform with a condom, they could look into condoms that are more stimulative. Foreplay also can help, too! Please know that your sex life isn't over. Not at all! If anything, H can actually help increase intimacy among people. It helps us filter out the chumps. It also helps us cultivate gratefulness for the compassion and kindness of people who are respectful and understanding. Plus, when someone is kind and understanding (and rational and calm and logical), that's sexy! Nothing is sexier than a gentleman who sees that H is just a common virus, and that there are plenty of other ways to stay safe besides just the external condom. I hope this helps! Stay strong ❤️ There is hope! 🙂 Blessings, Grace
  9. Last week
  10. Thanks for the suggestions everyone.. that's what I've been doing .. the Ibuprofen .. just crazy how long this is lasting.. this is only my 2nd time noticing an outbreak.. the only silver lining in this is its my 2nd .... the first was more noticeable.. but this once i barely can see anything.. just 1 tiny sore that could easily be missed .. its so sneak that it pisses me off... I have antivirals from my doc now , so I'm praying that it goes into its hole again .. the first time 9 years .. praying for the minimum of 18 years this time 🙂 ... I just pray that my partner doesn't have anything.. its killing me because I didn't tie the prodrome together until after we engaged in sex. SMH....
  11. Help ! I’m 47 and in addition to the fear of disclosure I am dealing with men in their 40s that have issues with performance when condoms are used I always insist on safe sex ( before this h thing ) but now feel like I will be rejected due to the condoms vs the h what can I do ??? Really feel like my sex life is over
  12. Hello! I am so sorry that you have been experiencing such burning. That is terrible! 😞 Is the burning from your skin or is it neurological? If it's on the skin, ice can help. Having a spray body of ice water and then misting the area can help, too. Avoid any soaps or products that would increase irritation, and avoid non-breathable clothing (spandex, for example). If it's neurological burning (like its coming from inside, not the skin) you can also try icing the area. You could also take an over the counter pain reliever, although you mentioned that you want to avoid taking too many of these (which is true, too many can indeed cause organ issues). I hope this helps! We are here for you! Sending blessings of healing and happiness your way! 🙂❤️ -- Grace
  13. Have you tried an ice pack? It helps calm my burning and itching. At least makes it more tolerable.
  14. 47 female in Canada . Would love a buddy in the same age range to lean on . Ideally someone with some years of experience into this who can show me the way forward thank you
  15. Does anyone know how to stop the burning in your genitals? This is the worse part for me.. It burns before and after an outbreak.. Im fortunate my outbreaks aren't bad but the prodrome is killing me! I am not on meds.. too afraid of messing up my kidneys
  16. Hello! ❤️ I am so sorry to hear about your experiences. You did not deserve that at all. Remember that this is not your fault. You are not bad. You are not unworthy. You are not unlovable. You are good. You are worthy of love and respect. You are lovable. The way people treat us is a reflection of who THEY are. It does not show who YOU are. Sometimes we feel like, "I am the common factor in all these relationships, so therefore I must be the problem." That is NOT true at all! It isn't you. Some people are unkind and disrespectful. They are not deserving of you. However, this doesn't mean everyone is unkind! There are good souls out there! I promise ❤️ In terms of letting go of the anger and resentment you have towards your ex husband... forgiveness is key. It is much easier said than done. However, I want to share a story with you. After apartheid ended in South Africa, there was so much racism, hurt, death, destruction... and a council called the The Truth and Reconciliation Commission was created, headed by Bishop Desmond Tutu. The point of the TRC was to unite South Africa after the long history of abuse and racism. People who had seen their family members murdered, their villages burned, and their civil rights abused listened to the offenders take the stand and genuinely apologize for the deeds they done against those harmed. It was shocking. So many people FORGAVE each other... and the power of forgiveness is that it honestly doesn't eliminate blame from the offender, but it frees YOU. It isn't showing weakness. It is showing strength. It isn't ignoring the hurt, but instead recognizing its power of you and choosing to not let it hold you back. You can read more about the TRC here: https://www.theforgivenessproject.com/stories/desmond-tutu/ I hope this helps 🙂 Stay strong. We are here for you ❤️ Be kinder to yourself! ❤️ Blessings, Grace
  17. @eastnorthsouthwest Hello! I am so sorry to hear about your recent struggles. Frankly, that is chump-behavior. There are some humans in the world who do not react with kindness or respect. You disclosed, which was showing kindness and respect for their body and freewill. When someone doesn't respond with the same kindness and respect, that shows more about who THEY are, not who YOU are. You are a blessing. You are a beautiful human deserving of love, respect, and kindness. Don't let a couple of rotten apples ruin the bunch! Stay strong and keep the faith ❤️ Make sure you practice self-love and self-kindness. Remember, the way others treat you is a reflection of them. If someone tries to make you feel like it's your fault, or the relationship ended because it's your fault, they are not a person who is worthy and deserving of you. There is hope! ❤️ I am 22 and have had HSV since I was 19. I have been rejected so many times. At first it really hurt, but now I see it as a sifter of sorts; it reveals who people really are and it helps me sort through the chumps. @livingbeyond Hi! ❤️ It is so wonderful that you met someone who is kind. I love how you said you wouldn't have reached the levels of vulnerability and acceptance if you didn't have H. That is such a beautiful thing! Thank you for sharing that with us, it really shines hope for me and I'm sure for so many others! ❤️ Sending blessings and light to you both! 🙂 -- Grace
  18. Hello, @Lisa2021! That is a great question. The Western Blot Test is used as a way to super super accurately test for HSV antibodies. Those who use this test are people who either truly believe they have HSV but have had all negatives tests, or those who believe they have false positive results. It is preformed by the University of Washington Virology Division Clinic. Check it out here: http://depts.washington.edu/herpes/pages/frequently_asked_questions I hope this helps! Blessings, Grace
  19. Hello! 🙂 Yes, in today's world, sex often does come very quickly in relationships. However, advocating for what you want and need (taking things slow) is so important and can help you stay true to yourself ❤️. Those who are actually respectful of you will be understanding and accepting of the pace you want a relationship to go! 🙂 In regards to the reaction of the man you have been seeing... that is such an immature response! Questioning if you were the one for him?! What the heck! That's just 1) cruel 2) disrespectful and 3) absurd; he didn't even ask questions or act mature at all. Herpes is a common medical diagnosis! It isn't a sin, it isn't a sign of evil or that you are a bad person. Also, it is important that he get tested as well, even if someone wasn't 'risky', they still should get an STI panel done (although it doesn't test for herpes, he could get a blood test if he wanted). You did your job-- you were honest with him. That is so kind and truthful, and you deserve a high five for that! 🙂 Honestly, when flags are shown and people reveal who they really are, listen to the reality. If someone shows a red flag like that -- their morals and kindness and understanding are equal to yours, and they aren't respectful of you (you were respectful of him, you were honest and told him about possibly having it). I say you can do so much better than that chump-like behavior! You deserve wholesome kind love ❤️ Stay strong! ❤️ We are all here for you! Blessings Grace
  20. I would love to hear more stories like this - especially in today’s world where sex often comes quick early on in the relationship …. This concept of dating for months without intimacy doesn’t seem to exist and I am not sure how to discuss this with someone who barely knows me enough and with whom this will be shared well before we’ve really gotten ti know each other . Currently I have shared with someone that I may have it ( unconfirmed) and we have been deeply connected for about two months -but we have been intimate and I know he has gotten ti know me . He still didn’t seem to react well to the possibility - questioning if I was the one for him and generally sounding like it would change things if I confirmed …. His past sexual behaviour is much more reckless than mine but I still feel the burden of being the educated responsible one . I want to protect him if I have it but it seems he would rather be ignorant so why must I be some kind of martyr???
  21. Hey ! I am sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. I am also in the UK I have been using bold tests tomorrow a company called Let’s Get Checked. What is different with the western blot test ? What company have you used for your blood tests so far ?
  22. @eastnorthsouthwest Hi! I'm glad you decided to write and have joined the forums here. That experience I posted really did knock my confidence out for a few days, but I worked feverishly to mend and remind myself of my self worth outside of the diagnosis. There were plenty of tears and I also affirmed myself and regained the perspective that I still have value, and I had the opportunity to tell that person just that. So, once that was done I started meeting people again. I met someone who was immediately open about some of what he saw as limitations, which allowed me to be open about H. So far we have bonded over common perspectives on spirituality, perspectives on relationships, communication, and through transparency. There is an ease as a result, and we just have fun or are able to get back there through more serious times. I don't know that we would've reached this level of vulnerability and acceptance between us so soon if I didn't have H. Things are still being worked through to determine if we will have something long-term, but for now things are good. I hope this does bring some optimism. If you have any other questions or need encouragement, feel free to PM me.
  23. I just joined this group and have a similar story to yours. Contracted HSV2 from my husband and we divorced in 2014. I have not had any relationships since then. I was hurt badly in my divorce and I have a lot of walls and trust issues to break down before letting someone in. However, I've tried and met a few people who I finally trusted enough to get to the point of intimacy that I felt disclosure was important before we moved further. Of the four I told, one ghosted me immediately, two slowly decreased and then cut off communication altogether, and one was honest and told me he just couldn't handle it. I guess I'm writing because I hope you've had positive experiences since you posted this or at least restored your faith. I could use some positive words as I'm losing hope! People say it's not a sexual death sentence, but that's certainly been my experience.
  24. I'm in my midforties and I was diagnosed with HSV2 about 20 years ago. I was married at the time to my only sexual partner, and he refused to believe it came from him because he was asymptomatic, despite admitting that his ex-girlfriend also had the virus. We divorced in 2014 and have had a pretty amicable coparenting relationship. Recently he told me that he and his girlfriend are having a baby, and it's brought up a ton of toxic feelings that I didn't realize I had that have been keeping me up at night. I think in large part, its because my attempts at relationships have all failed once I've gotten close enough to someone to disclose that I have the virus. Of the four people I told, one ghosted me immediately, two slowly decreased communication until they cut me off completely, and one was very nice but told me he just couldn't handle it. I guess I'm angry and jealous that my ex has been able to have a number of relationships and move on with his life and I haven't, at least in this area. I'm pretty sure he's not telling anyone he's a carrier, because I still don't think he believes he is. How do I get rid of these toxic feelings and move on with my life and how can I stay positive and believe I may still find happiness? I'm at the point where I'm just avoiding all potential relationships so as not to get hurt again.
  25. You are welcome! It is so frustrating and confusing how there are so many different answers one can get from asking different doctors or medical facilities about HSV. The inconsistency creates major inconveniences. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask!
  26. Thanks! My doctors office gave me vastly different information than I got from planned parenthood and from online so I don’t think they are the place for me to be asking. They deliver babies and seem like they are not knowledgeable about stuff behind that. Thank you for all the info! I appreciate it!!!
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