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  2. Hi all, I was diagnosed with type 1 genital herpes in February and I haven’t had an outbreak since my primary one then. About 2 weeks ago I had what I thought was a minor outbreak, 2 sores on my left thigh area, sensitive skin, a huge red patch around the area down my legs, general malaise, but also a super swollen lymph node on the left side of my neck. I took my valtrex a bit late since I didn’t actually think it was an outbreak at first, and it’s mostly healed/cleared, but now I have what appears to be another sore on the right thigh area, no swollen lymph nodes, minimal skin sensitivity. I’m fairly confident it’s the outbreak running it’s course, but I haven’t seen any information about neck lymph nodes swelling except in cases of something else like LGV, and the sores formed a little differently than my primary outbreak which has made me a bit paranoid. More like infected ingrown hair at first, no itching, just vaguely irritated until they ruptured. Has anyone has similarly specific lymph node swelling and/or a secondary outbreak even after taking valtrex? I do work long hours at a stressful job so I’m sure my immune system isn’t up to par. It would just make me feel much better to hear if others have had similar experiences. I know everyone is different but I still don’t quite know what’s unusual or not. Thanks!
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  5. I recently tried seeing a therapist for the first time, thinking it would help to talk all of this out with a professional. I've been putting this off for a long time - I was diagnosed a year and a half ago - but lately it's felt more urgent for me to try to find some support. That being said, I'm not sure if this therapy experience was all that helpful, and I'm wondering if anyone here might have tips for helping to find an affordable option where someone with HSV would actually feel comfortable discussing both the physical and emotional aspects of it. My first visit was fine enough. It felt a little impersonal but she also of course had a lot of paperwork and notes that needed to be taken so I thought I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. The next week I messed up my therapy time and didn't make it to see her, but I called to make sure I stayed on the schedule for the following week. That brings me to this week. When I showed up for my appointment, she introduced herself to me as if we had never met before. After she brought me into her office it became clear she didn't remember me AT ALL. She didn't have my file, she had blank intake forms. I told her I met with her the week before last, and she said, "you did?" So I spent half my session reminding her what we talked about (as well as explaining the condition and how testing works - she seemed a bit uneducated on that front, which was honestly surprising to me since her bio said she helps people with relationship problems and you'd think that would be something that comes up in relationship problems). The other half of the session she spent on her laptop looking up support groups, which was something I clearly can do on my own. It felt like a waste of time and money. To top it off, she told me that she wasn't going to write "herpes" in her notes. She said she would refer to it only as "social anxiety". She said nobody would get into her notes but she wanted to still be cautious about "confidentiality". I honestly didn't know what to say in the moment, but this just felt so stigmatizing to me. Like I should be ashamed and that I have something to hide. I know that mental health treatment is difficult to find and friends of mine have told me about having to "shop around" before they found a therapist they liked. But I guess I just didn't consider how it would feel if you're being misunderstood (or forgotten) by the very person you're seeking help from. Has anyone experienced something like this? How did you deal with it? On a semi-related note, has anyone here tried any of those digital therapy sessions and if so, was it helpful for you? It seems that those are cheaper options (even though my insurance wouldn't cover them, the individual sessions are actually cheaper than my copay). Any thoughts/experiences you're willing to share are appreciated as navigating care for mental health is all really new to me.
  6. Just wanted to say thanks for this thread. I can relate to the rollercoaster of emotion - I feel like I've had a million ups and downs within the past couple of weeks alone. I'm in the stage with this guy right now where I really like him, and he knows I have herpes, but I'm not sure what's going to happen next. He reacted kindly but who knows what that really means? And as much as I wish I had it in me to remain friends with him if he decided he didn't want to "risk it" with dating me, I don't know if I could. At the same time, I've been doing a lot to work on myself too and am excited to start a new chapter. I've started getting into yoga and have become much more interested in nutrition lately, which is leading me to only good things - making my body stronger and healthier. It's like having this one thing - just a skin condition - has made me realize everything that I take for granted every single day. No matter our levels of abilities, our bodies are incredible and they do amazing things for us. So I guess this guy is sort of secondary. Whatever happens with him is whatever happens. I can't let it change the path I'm on. I'm grappling with the fact that I'm essentially asking someone to accept me when I haven't even fully accepted myself, and maybe that's the bigger problem here. I'm trying to be better about listening to myself, both mind and body. And as I'm reading these messages and typing this, what both are seeming to tell me is that maybe I should work a little more on loving myself before I put my energy into someone else. Thank you for helping me get to that realization.
  7. And Ivread many stories where ppl with hsv1 were always negative on blood test and I have personally met two guys who are negative on IGG and WB but positive on swab test. I am wonder what do you think about this test https://www.imd-berlin.de/en/special-areas-of-competence/lymphocyte-transformation-test-ltt.html I am not sure if it’s available in USA but it is in Europe.
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  9. I think the first thing you should do is tell someone you are close to. Someone you trust whether your parents, sibling or a close friend. It will help you not feel so along in this. Try counseling and work towards ending the relationship. The title of your post says everything. You feel trapped. I believe he meant to trap you! Don’t let him. ❤️
  10. The first thing you do is dump him. You WILL find someone amazing to be with who will not treat you like crap. No One ever has the right to treat you like crap. I met someone almost 4 months after I was diagnosed, and he has been nothing short of amazing. He is HSV-negative and has no worries about if he gets it from me. And he treats me like a princess. He has NEVER thrown HSV in my face and it is not even something that we talk about. I disclosed, we briefly talked about it, he told me that it is a non-issue to him, and that's that. Do NOT settle for someone who treats you like shit. Get rid of him, work on yourself, and when you're ready, get back out into the dating world. You are worthy of being loved and treated well...don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
  11. My boyfriend and I where officially dating for two weeks when I started feeling pain down there . At first I thought it could just be irritating but when I told him he seemed worried . Later that night he called saying he has something to tell me and it’s serious . We met in person and he confessed to me that he has genital herpes. I automatically broke down and out of every emotion, all I could feel is heart broken & confused. The guy that I trusted and felt so much for potentially gave me something I could never get rid of . I’m not the type to sleep around or just have sex with just anyone so I couldn’t believe this was happening to me . All the symptoms I was having added up and I ended up going to the doctors to know for sure . I got diagnosed with HSV2 and from that moment on my whole life changed . I no longer felt confidence within myself and felt destroyed and alone . No one knows I have it only me and him . I’ve been with him for 5 months now and I feel trapped . He has such bad anger and has moments he treats me less than what I am . I always was the type to be so independent , filled with confidence but now I feel so ugly and like no one will love me . I’ve always been against abusive relationships , always walked away when I wasn’t being treated right but now I don’t feel like I have the same curage and I fear that he knows that . He completely changed from the person I fell in love with . He puts his hands on me and is verbally abusive and I feel like I’m stuck with him because of that feeling that no one else will love me . He even tells me himself that if he ever sees me with anyone else he’ll laugh at him and tell him he can have me because I have herpes . I don’t know what to do and need help .
  12. Wow so this group has made me feel so much better. So I guess I’ll tell my story. I am a 20 year old woman and I was diagnosed with hsv2 almost 6 months ago. I got it from my ex boyfriend. We were together for about 6 months and then we broke up for 3. In those three months he slept with a girl at his school, and lied to me when I asked him if he did (funny story about that, when we were broken up, I guess to piss me off being the abusive manipulating monster he is, he randomly sent me a video of him just laying on this girls bare ass... and tried to convince me there was no sex involved... lol!) I’ll be honest, i did meet a great guy while we broke up and slept with him twice. We used condoms and I didn’t have any symptoms with him, and he was a very health conscious person. I didn’t have any symptoms with the new guy, but I had bad symptoms 3 days after sleeping with my ex again. I know I got It from him. He expressed to me many times before how he never used condoms with anyone and he definitely didn’t use them with me. He just slept with girls and got tested after. (Stupid plan, btw) He wasn’t aware that herpes test weren’t apart of the usual std check up. He thought “one blood test tested them all” which I also debunked but he refused to listen to me, refused to go get tested, and continued to blame and ridicule me like I conjured this up in my own vagina all by myself. I have an amazing gynecologist who I love and appreciate very much. She gave me some sites to research, and referred me to a counselor recently. She also gave me some kind words and sound advice about why I should continue to know my worth and not stay with this guy who clearly did not care about his own health let alone mine. She really helped me feel like a person again. She gave me the strength to leave that guy. I think I have gotten passed the feeling like a hoe stage of having herpes. I’m very impatient with my depression so I try to move on quickly. Fast forward 5 months later and I’m happy with myself. I like being single and guys aren’t even attractive to me right now, except for one. A week ago I met a guy who really wants to take me out. He followed me on Instagram back in July, even dm’d me but at the time I just didn’t entertain It. This week, he dm’d me again and I took another look, decided that I thought he was attractive and responded. This whole week we’ve been getting to know each other day and night and he’s very nice, extremely hilarious and his personality is even more attractive than his face. I get that it’s only been a week, and I don’t know him that well but the parts i do know intrigued me enough to agree to a date. We’re going on a date tonight. Dinner on a blanket and a walk in the park. Which I think would be the cutest first date. look, I know I’m a bomb ass girlfriend. I know I can make someone very happy. I know people my age aren’t usually ready to settle, and that’s why I’m afraid to disclose. But i also refuse to be the person who doesn’t. I know how bad it sucks to get herpes from someone you trusted. I’m not totally ready to be together forever with anyone either, but I still want healthy long lasting relationships, which feels totally impossible at my age in my community. I feel like this guy really likes me, the vibe is great. And as great as he thinks I am, I feel like this is going to completely damage his view of me. I know, it’s only been a week, but I’m more so thinking about the future too, if this doesn’t work out. When do I tell him, or any new person in general? Is the first date safe because It avoids heartbreak, or is it tapping out too quickly? I worry that if i wait too long, I’ll hurt him when I have to tell him, but if I tell him, or anyone, on the first date then I am giving him reason to run, I mean there’s nothing keeping him with me If I tell him now, even if he really does like me. Im on suppressive therapy, I actually just started when i realized I wanted to date again. (I’ve had 3 outbreaks so far that weren’t that bad. I mostly just think taking the pills daily will make disclosing easier) I go to the gym, and I’m conscious about my health, i basically live in all my doctors offices. It’s truly healthier to date me than people not conscious of their health... but i digress. I want to date and get married and have my own children one day, I’m not ready to let go of this dream. But I feel like I do have to let It go because how can I expect someone my age, or at any age really, to take that risk with me? I certainly don’t think I would’ve taken this risk a year ago, ESPECIALLY if I didn’t know the person that well. The last thing I want to do is hurt anyone, but how do i convince people that i am not the plague, they will not die, and I’m still the person they liked when they first started talking to me. This got really long so I’ll stop here lol but thanks for any support! I appreciate It a lot!
  13. I found out in 2014 after having 2 kids and being married for 7 years that I have HSV 2. I’ve mostly been in a constant state of outbreak ever since and I don’t understand why. And it’s not just a skin problem. It makes me sick. Nauseas, no energy, diarrhea, and very irritable. I’m getting so tired of it! I did have a break for a year in 2017 when I discovered Intestinal Edge. I didn’t have outbreaks or need Valtrex for a year but it has returned with a vengeance. I recently quit my beloved coffee bc that’s a trigger and I don’t drink alcohol anymore at all bc that’s also a trigger. I eat very healthy and exercise. I started the HSV eraser protocol 12 days ago but am fighting an outbreak today. My husband never has any issues. He drinks 1-2 drinks of whiskey every evening, coffee, little sleep and he’s fine. His is suppressed and he never takes Valtrex. Has anyone else had severe issues like this and found relief or discovered there was a separate problem complicating herpes? I’m very open to holistic healing. I’ve tried colonics and acupuncture as well. It seemed to help for a while but gets expensive!
  14. Your post is so relatable and I feel your fucking pain! I’ve had genital hsv for about 10 years. I couldn’t tell you if its hsv 1 or hsv 2 because both my gyno and primary care doctor have said “it doesn’t matter which one because it’s the same thing.” But is it really the same thing? Like I would like to know what strain I have but they won’t do it. I honestly think these doctors don’t give a shit about helping people “like us” because the virus isn’t deadly. There hasn’t been any new drug developments against this since Valtrex came out in the 90s and it sucks. The physical and mental suffering from this virus in unimaginable. I wish I could honestly say it gets better. I was on acyclovir for 8 years, had ZERO outbreaks, no prodrome symptoms, then one day I had a HORRIBLE outbreak. Worse than I have ever had in my life. After that they kept coming every 2-3 weeks and seemed to be WORSE when taking the antivirals. I was also taking 3-4000mg of lysine daily, vitamins etc., all the bullshit the websites tell you to do and nothing helped. Finally went to my dr and asked for valtrex, which they only give the generic because these asshole insurance companies won’t cover name brand. It’s been about 7 months and things have gotten better but I feel like I am constantly about to get an outbreak. The stress of feeling this way prob makes it worse but when you are in constant discomfort how are you supposed to forget you have this thing and relax? Everything I read says over time your outbreaks will become leas because your body gets immune. What a crock of shit. I think everyone needs to band together and start an uproar. We need better treatment/medication/a vaccine against this/a cure. I’ve gone 10 years and idk how much longer I can take either.
  15. Hi everyone, Found out I have genital HSV1 April 2018 and I was insanely depressed, felt disgusting, had suicidal thoughts, just overall done with life. Now ? Am I completely okay? No. But I am better. When I first joined I would see people tell say “ it gets better”. I was so angry reading that, thought it was bs. But it’s true. It does get better. I take a few supplements everyday and manage my stress (stress and colds are my triggers). Do I still have my moments ? Absolutely. I mean come on this shit is hard, can really mess with you mentally. I think about having to have kids and possibly having to have a C section if I have an outbreak during labor or just having an outbreak during pregnancy in general. Like I’m creating life and have to deal with that too? Anyways, I just want anyone who is new to this know it does get better. It fucking sucks, it’s not fair and you will have your moments but it’s okay. You’re not alone and life will begin to feel normal again. Xo.
  16. Before anything I want to say I am not trying to offend anyone. The reason I wanted this to be specifically for black woman is because I haven't seen many things about us beside statistics and I always feel alone like I'm the only one in my community. Now my question is there a group chat,website , or anything where black woman can support each other who have herpes? If not would anyone like to make one? (Sorry if this isn't allowed)
  17. Yes, when I originally went to my doctor she also said she’d rather not. Her position was that we don’t know much about the long term effects of the medication on the body and also that she only believes in prescribing suppressive for people who have 6 or more outbreaks a year. This is her opinion and what she said, I know that it’s not necessarily the reality of the situation. It made me feel a bit powerless in my decision making but I decided to trust her on it. I haven’t had any outbreaks in a while and I wonder if it’s becsuse my bodies been able to develop it’s own immune reaponse without the help of anti-viral? I dunno for sure it’s just a theory I have. If you feel strongly about suppressive then it might be worth switching doctors if that’s an option OR telling your doctor you’re getting back to back outbreaks. I spoke to someone at the sexual health clinic abOut this and she said it would have been fine to go on for a year but that she has patients who have been on for 3 or more years (when they don’t really need it anymore) and that she thought it was unnecessary. I dunno, for me I’m happy with the decision because it feels like my bodies got a handle on it now on its own, and I’m with a partner who doesn’t care about it so for my situation it’s worked out for the better. You may have to consider where you’re at and if it’s something you really would like to do I’d definitely come back to that doctor and try again.
  18. Hello all!!! Been a while since I have been here, but I thought, who better to throw this question at than the peeps that deal with the same shenanigans I do. So it goes like this,. My Dr won't prescribe me daily suppressive therapy for H. She fills my Rx at 15 tablets to be started when ever I feel an out real coming. Which isn't often, but still, shouldn't I have the choice to be on daily meds? Also, she recommends that I take 5000 mg of L-Lysene a day. I do this because I know it is used in cats for feline herpes, so it makes sense. If I ask my Dr for a daily suppressive therapy, shouldn't that be an option? Rather than "You can have a 5 day supply when you actually have an outbreak" Anyone else have this issue? Thanks for your time
  19. I submitted this piece (it was more detailed but they edited to shorten) to a regular column in the guardian newspaper called ‘my life in sex’. It is about how I have sometimes in the past handled my GHSV-1 disclosure and the anxiety this has caused. While comments are still rolling in, I’ve been amazingly surprised by the overwhelming kind and supportive responses, and also how most people don’t find H that big a deal. Perhaps a European versus American attitude with more stigma here? The responses have been very comforting to read and may help others. Going forward, mostly to not trigger anxiety, I will be disclosing my hsv-1 location. The few times I haven’t it’s all I could think about. Not worth the years off my life! https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/aug/23/my-life-in-sex-the-woman-with-an-sti#comments
  20. Not true. Maybe if you're citing active outbreaks? But GhSv1 rarely recurs. Sheds rarely - new study shows rate of 1.3% after 2 years and isn't easily transmitted. The majority of people who have ghsv1 got it from someone who has ohsv1 performing oral sex on them.
  21. I had constant outbreaks for years as well. One thing that tremendously helped (as in I didn’t need Valtrex for an entire year) was doing an intestinal cleanse call Intestinal Edge. I bought it on Amazon. Good luck ❤️.
  22. I haven't taking a.v ever so that's reassuring. I'm questioning it because I've read of numerous people taking 1 year to get a pos result on bloodtests.
  23. I haven’t personally been in the situation yet of having casual sex with herpes, but when I found out I had it, one of my really good friends put me in touch with her friend who has it as well. She told me that at first she thought casual sex was over for her but in her experience no one was ever turned off by it when she disclosed. There was 1 person in the grand scheme of things who refused after that but she has no regrets to this day because he was an asshole anyways so it saved her from going through with that. That’s why people say it can help weed out the undesirables I guess. But really she said it didn’t change her ability to do that, it was an extra step to take beforehand but it wasn’t a deterrent for 99% of the people she went on to sleep with after that. I know everyone’s experience is different with this and there may be people here who would tell you they had a harder time of it, but I would look up some info on how ppl successfully disclosed. I do think it’s important though to be upfront and honest with people even if it’s a one night stand.
  24. It's very possible that the bumps are actually ingrown hairs or cysts, or something else altogether. Can you get to a doctor or clinic and have them checked out? Herpes can be mysterious at times, and while it's true that it doesn't always follow the same patterns, what you describe doesn't really fit the way ghsv usually presents itself. When we have herpes we tend to forget about the multitude of other issues that can effect our bodies and blame the virus for everything. I am an advocate for knowing as much about our bodies as possible and seeking to know the truth whenever we find our minds spiraling into worry--you need to be armed with the truth in order to move forward. If bumps are causing you this much worry then spending a little time and money on discovering the truth about them is very important to your mental health. Explain to your doctor how worried this has you, and ask for his/her help in sorting out what is going on down there. If a trip to the doctor is not possible, look into getting an online consultation with a herpes expert (I always recommend Westover Heights online for this, it can be incredibly reassuring to consult with a medical professional who is an expert on herpes).
  25. It has been about 45 days since I have been diagnosed with genital herpes. First outbreak was the worst feeling ever. Couldn’t walk, had a high fever, vomiting, had to take off of work for 2 weeks. Sores every where, vaginal and anal. Was prescribed the 7 day Valtrex treatment. The first outbreak didn’t even heal properly that a second horrible outbreak occurred (weird thing is that it wasn’t in the vaginal area, it was near the anal/butt area). So my doctor prescribed me daily Valtrex. Now the outbreaks have just about cleared up. It’s been about a week since taking Valtrex. But I’m having this intense urge to itch. I don’t itch it though because I know it will irritate it more. Like the vaginal opening area is so pink. No sores. Anyone know what’s going on and how to treat this? It’s driving me crazy.
  26. Just putting this out there: You do not have to have casual sex to be "normal".
  27. Hello and welcome! 👋 First, download the e-book and handouts and read through them: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook Then here’s a helpful video/article: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/the-herpes-talk-and-your-perspective There’s tons more where that came from, but those are great starting points!
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