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  1. Yesterday
  2. I really thought I had herpes 2 the depression you feel really takes a hold of you. that's how I felt.your in my prayers and I'm so sorry you feel like your alone in this. but remember your not the only one with this disease. there's other's and things will get better. I'm sure your boyfriend will be understanding.we here at herpes Oppurtunity will help you through this.hugs. Sarah
  3. Hi...what you're feeling is totally normal. I went through the same thing. I haven't disclosed to anyone new, so I don't have advice in that area. I take valtrex daily as a means of suppressive therapy and it has helped a ton. It may not seem like it, but it does get better. I promise you.
  4. Hi everyone! I’m a 24yr old AA female living in North Carolina. I was just diagnosed yesterday and am still in shock. I cried all day afraid of the life I’ll have to live with now. I didn’t have the “typical” first outbreak. In fact, it was so mild I didn’t realize anything too serious was going on. I’m not sure how long I’ve had this but I have to disclose to my boyfriend soon and I’m afraid of rejection. There’s so much stigma around this and I guess that’s fueling my fear. Any advice??
  5. Thank you so much for this! I got up the courage to disclose and it went better than expected! He was understanding & reassuring. I don’t feel as gross and I’m hopeful it’ll get better!
  6. Great job coming on these forums and opening up! That right there is a huuuge step. Asking for help is the first jump into the healing journey. Certainly a vulnerable power move. 😉 And to your question about disclosing, there is so much on this site that will help you shift your mindset around it. Disclosing isn't a block to connection, but a doorway into deeper trust and intimacy. It sounds like you honestly didn't know and are taken by surprise by this. That is all part of the disclosure. Being authentic while being honest and forthright with your partner is an admirable quality. The shame and embarrassment will dissipate with time and attention to your healing process. Know that most of that comes from our cultural infatuation with shaming herpes when in reality it's a very common and pretty harmless skin condition. When you get that most of the shame is because of culturally inherited stigmatized beliefs, that's when you can take your power back and turn this into a positive in your life. An Opportunity, if you will. 😁 Start by watching/reading these posts here to start shifting you into the Opportunity mindset. I'm dropping a lot on you at once, so take them at your own pace, okay? You got this. 🙌 First things first, download the free e-book & handouts on Opportunity Disclosure: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook Watch the herpes facts overview video: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-facts Listen to the "Dear Men" interview: How do you to tell someone you have an STD? https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/how-do-you-to-tell-someone-you-have-an-std How to become stigma bulletproof video: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-stigma-how-to-become-bulletproof Watch the video "Keeping your partner herpes-free can be super sexy": https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/keeping-your-partner-herpes-free-can-be-super-sexy Listen to the interview "Sexual shame & rewriting your narrative": https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/sexual-shame-rewriting-your-narrative Listen to another interview called "How to make herpes disclosure sexy?" https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/making-herpes-disclosure-sexy
  7. I can relate. I thought I had herpes for a year. I am so thankful for this site and the support of Adrial and my sister convincing me to get tested.I think everyone should get tested and know their std status.
  8. Last week
  9. I’m not sure if anyone will read this but I hope so. I just found out today that I have genital herpes. I’m not sure yet exactly which strand it is. I have a boyfriend. He just recently asked me to be his girlfriend and I love him a lot, we’ve been seeing eachother for quite a while. He’s a really great guy. And I’m afraid to tell him. I guess I just don’t know how. And I feel so full of shame and embarrassed. I haven’t told anyone. I feel really alone. I’m too embarrassed to talk to anyone about it. I don’t know how long I’ve had it. I didn’t have some painful experience (thankfully) like others do. So I didn’t know. I figured it was a simple vaginal infection. Anyone have any advice on anything dealing with this virus? The doctor didn’t really talk to me about it. I just feel so low.
  10. This is great to hear, I just scheduled laser treatment and have been worried I spent all that money just to have an outbreak!
  11. Wow I forgot I wrote this, glad to see others commented. I wrote this in July and it’s crazy to look back on because when I think about when I started having doubts, I usually say the end of summer/September, but this just goes to show how unhappy I was for so long. I ended up breaking up with him in December. It took me 6 months of fighting, anxiety, sadness, fear etc to build up the courage to do it. 7 months later I’m still single, but having nothing to do with herpes and everything to do with the pandemic! This adds a whole new level of difficulty to dating obviously. I’m scared and nervous I’ll be alone forever but everyone keeps reassuring me that won’t be the case. I’ve since told two close friends about my situation and they were SO unbelievably supportive it made me feel a lot better about telling a future guy. All I can tell you is you deserve to be with someone perfect for you and, while I haven’t found that person yet, I know I made the right decision getting out of my relationship. If we had stayed together and had to quarantine together it would have ended WAY worse than it did. You are more than this virus and you have to hope that someone else will see that. If you’re unhappy now, imagine how unhappy you’ll be 5, 10, 20 years from now and how that will impact your mental and physical health, but also your possible future children. I hope this helps and I will keep people updated if I end up meeting someone who accepts me and my circumstances! Fingers crossed.
  12. I'm in the same dilemma as well. I've been with the same guy for 3 years but I feel like I am falling out of love. I think it's the fear of rejection keeping the relationship alive which is super unhealthy. I am so scared for the future. I want to get married and have kids. I have a lot of doubt with my boyfriend.
  13. Technically after the scabs, you are no longer directly contagious from the active outbreak. But I’ve always been careful and waited at least a week after the scabs fall off before having sex.
  14. I've read you should wait 7 days after the sores heal, others a few days, and others as soon as the sores heal. I've also read asymptomatic shedding occurs during this time. Any thoughts?
  15. Did anyone ever find out the source of their ovarian pain? i also was diagnosed with BV and then GHSV within the same time frame and it’s been about 8 months since my first and only outbreak and my ovaries hurt...the pain is localized on the right side of my body. Ultrasound showed nothing there (no cysts or fibroids). wondering if anyone found the source of this pain for them? thank you!
  16. I'm taking daily valtrex, but do you have any tips on preventing an outbreak from occurring when you're shaving down there? It just feels weird to me having a lot of hair in the private region.
  17. I would say her transmitting it to herself that way is highly unlikely. Herpes viruses thrive in mucus membranes (I.e. our lips and genitals), so the possibility of it surviving for very long on your hands (no mucus membranes) to then be passed to the genitals is low. Sure, it happens, which is how people end up with ocular herpes, but that's pretty rare. Plus, if you're on suppressive therapy and have no visible outbreak, I would say that significantly lessens the possibility. Take a deep breath! I'm sure it's fine.
  18. Hi there! I know the feelings you're going through right now, but try your best to remain as calm as you can - it's going to be alright! I'm not a medical expert, but I have a few friends who have been in long term relationships with HSV-2 positive partners, and have never contracted it. If your partner was taking antivirals and you have used protection, your chances of contracting it are actually very low (about 2-4% per YEAR, which is roughly the same as getting pregnant on birth control). Everyone's bodies are different - some of us, like myself, were unlucky enough to get it in a chance encounter, while others have life-long relationships and never get it. All you can do is take it one step at a time, and take a test. Also, keep in mind that a blood test needs about 4-6 weeks to register a true positive, as your body needs time to build up antibodies. I hate to keep you waiting longer, but if you're worried about that particular recent encounter and want to be sure, I would definitely re-test in a month or two. My other advice would be to try to separate your anger with your partner from your fear of this as much as you can! That's a lot of emotion for one person to take on at once. You have every right to feel lied to and betrayed, and the feeling of being afraid is totally normal. Try to tackle the things you're in control of one at a time - have a conversation with your partner, schedule a test, and try to take some time for self care. And please, take it from me who has HSV - even if your test results come back positive, your life is not over! It's a very manageable and overly-stigmatized condition, and my guess is that if you already have gotten it within the past 2 years and have not seen any symptoms, you'll probably continue to be asymptomatic. I hope this helps! Sending hugs!
  19. If anyone at all can please please give me an answer. I am sick to my stomach. I have been with someone for over two years. We have had sex constantly (almost 4-6 times a week, every week.) I slept with him (very rough sex) on Friday. he had a reddish patch above his groin which I thought was just from rough sex. On Sunday, he told me he couldn’t have sex because he had an outbreak. THIS IS HOW HE REVEALED HE HAD HERPES WITH ME AFTER TWO YEARS. The outbreak was in that red same spot. Other than realizing he is a liar and dealing with that fact, I am now coming to terms with the fact that I for sure contracted HSV-2 on Friday. I have no symptoms yet and it Tuesday but I’m preparing myself. Is there anyway I could have not gotten in? Would I have gotten it in the past two years if not Friday? He was for sure in predormal phase. Do I just wait for an outbreak? I am heartbroken and terrified. I feel so lied to and now I have to deal with something I didn’t even know I had. Please, any advice will help
  20. That's nonsense. The vaccine will not give you hpv. But it doesn't cover all strains so you may have caught a strain that hasn't been immunised against.
  21. It's VERY possible that you got HPV from the vaccine itself and no one else gave it to you. There have been girls who have been diagnosed with HPV but were virgins and had never had any type of sexual interactions before...young girls who were clearly not sexually active. But they had the vaccine. Please don't beat yourself up. I don't have the exact percentage, but if I recall correctly, something like over 95% of HPV cases resolve themselves eventually.
  22. Earlier
  23. @mr_hopp A big belated thank you for your kind post, the encouragement, and the helpful links. I am sure that the website keeps you plenty busy and it means so much that you took the time to give me such a thoughtful reply. Still not feeling quite like myself and the last thing on my mind is a romantic partner but I am hoping time will help with that. I am still in disbelief that I got it the first time I had sex with first sexual partner I have had in 10 years and given how careful I always am. He had no fever blisters and said he hadn't had one in over a year. Didn't even know I could get it orally. He acted concerned at first but he's pretty much out of the picture now. Still feeling dirty and now I can add used to the list. So hurtful. Anyway, I digress. Again, thank you for your reply and thank you for this forum. #grateful. I hope that you have a good Fourth!
  24. If it is eating away at you, maybe write a list of pros and cons of what can happen if you decide to disclose while still only talking on the phone. i know that feeling of sick feeling about keeping it from someone and that is not fun and not healthy. Please note, not disclosing is not lying, unless they specifically ask that bullshit question or ‘are you clean’ or any other version of that, and you say ‘yes’.. then that’s kind of telling a lie. But you still don’t need to tell them at that moment. It’s not their information to drag out of you. You tell them when you are comfortable. The longer you wait, in my experience, the harder is it. Take this reply with a grain of salt.. I know it’s all easier said than done. Touching on the Risk part of it, that will be something you and your partner would have to deal with together in terms of communication. But you also should work on that guilt. I’ve been there too, mixed with shame. We aren’t monsters out to plague the world. We are beautiful, fun, courageous people who are going to live a normal life, despite this hand that’s been drawn. Take the pill, wear condoms, communicate If you’re feeling symptoms and if he gets it, yes you’ll feel bad, but he decided you were worth the risk.
  25. I recommend the brand Turmerix. Me and hubbo have tried a few and this one seems to really work.
  26. Yikes! You're head is in a bad spot. First things first, don't wish you had cancerous hpv. This could literally kill you, and your male partners may not visibly catch it, but they WILL pass it on to future partners, which in turn could kill them. There are enough things killing our mothers, daughters, sisters etc without people wishing cancerous hpv on them! Secondly, you're not a dirty sex pest and you're most certainly not the first person to have caught both irritatingly common stds. In fact if you look deep into this forum you will find lots of lovely people with both out there living their best lives with great partners and a gaggle of beautiful kids. I know it's difficult, but you can't change it, and you're you no matter what happens to you. If someone leaves you because of this, then realise it's not actually about you, it's about their own fear. Don't settle for anyone that judges you for this. You are special and unique and your worth has not changed. Don't let anyone question your worth, including yourself. Much love and peace to you. This is a challenging time for you, but you will get through it.
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