Disclosing To A Co-Worker

Hi Guys,

I've been a ghost on here for a while reading and soaking up everyone's stories. Some stories fill me with dread and others make me think "hey it isn't so bad"! I've had HSV-2 for about a year and a half now. Asymptomatic and take Valtrex every day. I've pretty much avoided dating because just thinking about telling someone this secret makes me want to puke.

Now...i've met someone. We both work together in this industry where everyone knows everyone. VERY small town and we work with the same people over and over again. Throughout our first interactions herpes has been brought up twice. One was at a comedy show where the "comedian" basically was like raise your hands if you have herpes. I didn't laugh...it actually made my heart sink. Anyways...he's wanting to get physical really fast. We basically had a weekend where we hung out every day and night and went on a lot of dates. I've postponed the sex as much as I could, (we have fooled around in other ways) but he keeps inviting me over (for sex). I even told him that I was sick and my throat was sore and he still wanted to kiss me. I'm just really nervous to tell him...I'm not nervous of rejection..I've been single for a long time...I can continue being single. I'm just the biggest worry wart and keep thinking, What if he tells everyone we work with and then all of the sudden I'm known as the girl with H. He is a very sweet guy as far as I can tell and everyone says the same thing about him to me. I just need some reassurance from people who understand what I'm going through. I'm a wreck.

The way you worded your post (and tell me if I'm wrong!) made me think it sounds like you maybe don't quite know him well enough to trust him with a disclosure or even having sex. If so, respect your gut and slow down the physical stuff. If I'm way off base, you can tell me to shove it. ;-)

The way you worded your post (and tell me if I'm wrong!) made me think it sounds like you maybe don't quite know him well enough to trust him with a disclosure or even having sex. If so, respect your gut and slow down the physical stuff. If I'm way off base, you can tell me to shove it. ;-)

I'd never tell you to shove it! :) You're right. Technically we haven't known each other for more than 2 weeks, but we hung out all day every day for 5 days straight. So, to me it's like we took at least 4 weeks of dating and condensed them down to one long holiday weekend. That's why I want to tell him because I'd like nothing more than to be physical, but I'm so scared to disclose.

This is very personal confidential information about your sexual health...I know some people freely disclose on their first date, or right up front...I would never...especially in your situation....I also live in a small town and hear the stigma attached to our disease...you don't know him that long, id build the trust factor before disclosing