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Showing content with the highest reputation on 08/01/2018 in all areas

  1. 2 points
    About 15 months ago, my world was turned upside down with my herpes diagnosis. I remember standing in the mirror saying to myself “this isn’t possible. This is a bad dream”. I was in such a state of shock I couldn’t even cry. I kept thinking “everything is different now”. And in some ways, that is true. But not in all ways. The initial heavy burden I felt has disappeared. I was blessed with having a few sessions with Adrial, and I read and educated myself as much as possible. I also let myself work through those first difficult 6 months where I didn’t feel 100% myself, while starting to reprogram my brain to think of herpes as an opportunity for substantial growth. Which is most certainly has been for me. The point of this post is give anyone struggling some hope. I encourage you to, as much as possible, look at a herpes diagnosis from the perspective of someone who just found out they have terminal cancer. From someone who would trade herpes to bring their deceased child back. To any other medical challenge (muscular dystrophy, amputation, MS, heart disease, cancer). I totally get it, those things cant be spread and you don’t have to tell every partner you have about those issues. But there are so many medical issues (and in general life challenges) that could be far worse. Herpes also has given me an opportunity to start every relationship (casual or romantic) with honesty, and to discard people in my life who treated me like garbage. I have been rejected, but I have also been accepted. I was accepted by a man who ended up not treating me with the respect I deserve. The lesson there, even someone who is cool with herpes, can treat you like dirt. I was very hurt and disappointed by the experience. But I would have bene regardless of if I had herpes or not, because in the end he didn’t know how to treat me. I also recently disclosed to a man I was dating. He was kind, understanding and still wanted to see me after I disclosed. I decided to stop spending time with him, not the other way around. I disclosed to a man I am only interested in sexually last week…his response “I’m ok with that”. I can say one thing for sure, I have never had a person react unkindly for being honest with them. If you choose to always disclose, you will face more rejection that if you don’t. But you will also stand tall in your truth and integrity, and with every rejection and acceptance, you will gain confidence in choosing disclosure. I encourage anyone struggling to message me if you need advice or just someone to commiserate with. Support from peers, friends or family helped me immensely as well. Best of luck to you all!
  2. 1 point
    @DoHope35 yesss disclosing is very important. No one should impose something on anyone else. When you really care about someone, you’ll respect their choice and you know you’ll be juste fine without them as well. I guess it’s about practice... in love there always a risk of rejection... with or without herpes!! I’d really take things slow with a new person and get to know them super well and show your true self. If after that you disclose and they choose to leave, fair enough, you’re better off!
  3. 1 point
    Thanks @Gina99. It is really about self love and self esteem and I definitely do love myself. I’m actually a really good catch! I think the bigger thing is if I do get serious with someone having to disclose this to them and I don’t want to! But it wouldn’t be fair to them because I sure wish the person I got it from told me.
  4. 1 point
    Girlllll, I’m a newbie here too but I can tell you this: I see herpes as something that’s gonna make be healthier, more selective of people I decide to date, and more confident! The way you view this infection is really all about self love and self esteem. If people find out about it, it’ll be hard because of they huge ingorace regarding this subject. But seriously, the people that know you and love you won’t think different of you.... and those are the only people that matter right? dont beat yourself up for this... it’s such a big dea for others just because it’s on our gentials... if you had herpes on your eyes or mouth no one would give a crap. So ... f*ck them. this is the time for you to nurture yourself and get to know yourself and your outbreaks. You will get through this just as we all are! Hang in there 🙂
  5. 1 point
    @CatMom. Thank you. I am so appreciative of you. I will make sure to definitely reach out to you. Like right now at this moment I am okay but I know that feeling will come back again but I’m trying to just continue to educate myself and take my life a day at a time without stressing.
  6. 1 point
    First thing you need to do is take a deep breathe and realize that everything will be okay. I have recently been diagnosed (last Wednesday) and have come to terms. Don’t listen to your ex because you are will find a man who loves you. Herpes or not. If he spreads your business then that’s his karma. I know it will be very hurtful if he does but if anyone has anything to say just hit them with the facts. I’ve done some pretty extensive research this past week and realized that there’s nothing to be ashamed of having this. You will be alright and if you need someone to talk to, I’m more than happy to help in anyway I can.
  7. 1 point
    Hi. Just to say...... as i understand it the hs2 virus lives in the nerves of the lower back area and can affect anywhere in that region down to upper legs, so not just genitalia. On my first outbreak 8 years ago, I felt I was peeing glass for about 3 days or so. Incredibly painfull..... was given Acyclovir 3 times a day I believe. eventually it worked...... hardly ever taken it since that time. Tbh at the time I was relieved that I only had herpes, it could of been worse than that. Its not a nice situation. Well you know shingles is one of the 5 herpes viruses chicken pox, glandular fever, hsv-1, hsv-2. So stress can be one of the main triggers. So easier said than done. But once it calms down. It can be put into perspective......It would not stop me seeing a woman if she had this. Stigma, pride, ego.....it all gets in the way. Eat well to keep your immune system up, just as anyone should, regardless. Good luck.
  8. 1 point
    Well I am new to all this as I was just diagnosed this past week but the leg pain was where mine started and in my buttocks. My pain was in my right leg not my left like many say accompanied their ob. I sure hope you feel better. I had singles at 17 and I thought that was the worst ever till this happened.
  9. 1 point
    TOUGH LOVE ALERT @hippyherpy one, I will start off saying, based on what you said on your post, would it really even make a difference to your conscious if we told you it is wrong to do so, because I have a sneaking suspicion you will be deceitful despite what we tell you? In part of the article you shared the following: Researchers have shown that viral shedding of herpes virus occurs very often from the genitals of the infected partner even when the infected partner has no symptoms: In some cases over 80% of the time. This means that an infected partner can transmit herpes to the uninfected partner even when no symptoms are present. ^^^^ W information like that, why would you think it is OK to not disclose? The risk is still there and while you feel it's not a big deal, for some it is. First off, the devastation it creates mentally for people is the biggest problem. I watch people come on forums devastated, become severely depressed and some talk of suicide. How selfish is that of you, to decide for someone else whether it is a big deal or not, because getting your rocks off is more important? Secondly, for some people such as myself, this virus has wrecked havoc on their health. I have multiple autoimmune diseases, which not only made my primary OB horrific, it caused such severe neuropathy on my buttock, back of thighs, w electrical shooting pain to all 22 location's of my sores that I could see, but in my vagina, feet and rectum. I felt like a burn victim and had to go to the ER and be out on anticonvulsants for four months, which had horrific side effects. To this day, over a yr later, I have constant obs, despite taking meds daily, can no longer sit on hard surfaces, as I always have tenderness on my tailbone, back of thighs and buttock. At my one yr mark, I had 8 back to back obs for two months straight. If someone has cancer, gets cancer and goes through treatment that suppresses their immune system, it will wreck havoc. People w diabetes will have a harder time w it and anyone w autoimmune disease for that matter. So are you going to ask for a run down of their medical history first, to know that it shouldn't be much trouble for them, if they get it? I got this from someone who lied to my face about having it and I find it highly inappropriate for you to treat others health so wrecklessly, as if you are God, to pick and choose that for another.there are plenty on here who have caught herpes, despite using protection and the number for reducing shedding by that study is pretty exaggerated, it is not that high and other studies will contest that number. This hits home w me, because it was somebody w your same mentality, that has changed my health significantlysignificantly for life. If I even stop taking the meds, I develop severe chronic fatigue. One hr or more of physical activity will deplete me to the point I'm barely functioning, feel sick and will sleep for 15hrs and still need two more days to recover. You don't know if you are going to infect someone who has this type of reaction, not to mention, most seem to have a conscious and believe in disclosure and now you've made their life harder and have to deal w the fear of rejection. It is not OK to play God? Just remember, KARMA....for me, those low transmission numbers don't apply to me, because I seem to be active the majority of a month and I cannot reassure a partner of low transmission.. That's not fair to do that to someone else . Lastly I will add, it is illegal to knowingly have sex w soneone and not disclose and they can take legal action if they catch it. Not only can they sue you for damages, but cost of medical treatment for the rest of their life for it AND it is public information, so it will be in the paper and people will know your name and face. This is just my honest opinion, as I'm the face of someone who chose to lie to me.. I could be the girl you infect.
  10. 0 points
    Sometimes I don’t know how to feel. Sometimes I am happy and I feel alright but then when I get home by myself the feeling comes back. I’ve been diagnosed with HSV 1 & 2 since February and since then I have had 3 outbreaks. I don’t know if this is enough to classify as doing suppressive therapy but I am just over this whole thing. I am just really down, and I really don’t know what to even say or write. I am official done with my old boyfriend as everything that goes wrong with him or anytime we get in an argument me having HSV is the first thing bought up. He even told me that no man would want me or put up with me because I have herpes. That crushed me, and I never want to talk to anyone again because he really said negative things about me. He makes me wonder if he would spread my business on social media or what could possibly happen. I’m so scared to disclose for that reason. I just don’t know what to do.
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