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Showing content with the highest reputation on 05/31/2021 in all areas

  1. Brief background: I was diagnosed via blood test (no symptoms) by a fluke back in October when my ob/gyn added this test when I asked for an STD panel. I had not been sexually active at all in the past 10.5 years, so my exposure was a long time ago, and I am asymptomatic. However, knowing that I would now need to disclose this thing that I was previously blissfully unaware of, I was terrified of haivng to disclose. My first disclosure was to a guy that I had been on one date with, and I told him within 15 minutes of finding out myself...and I was a hot mess. And he rejected me. After about 4 days of allowing myself to cry and be depressed about it, I decided that I wasn't going to hold me back. At the end of January, I started seeing a new guy. This guy is PERFECT in so many ways. He checks off every single box I could possibly think of, and then some. And he feels the same way about me. Well, last night when we saw each other, I just knew that this was going to be the night that we were going to become intimate. I was again TERRIFIED because my first disclosure had been so awful. However, this time was different. I have researched the hell out it, I know it's not a big deal for the majority, and I also knew that this guy and I share some pretty strong feelings about each other. I could see myself marrying him...but yet, I had this *thing* I needed to tell him, and I was still scared that he would reject me. After all, he had previously disclosed on the phone that he is "squeaky clean" of STDs...but I couldn't tell him this over the phone. So, we had some drinks and dinner. Ended up at a hotel since we didn't want to drive to either house after drinking. And things were moving quickly...and then I had to stop him. He was confused and apologized, thinking he had overstepped. I assured him that was not the case, but that we needed to talk first, and that it was not optional. We needed to talk. He went and poured us each a glass of wine and sat down on the couch next to me and asked me to spill. First, he asked me "You were never a dude, right?" No. I asked him if he wanted to Cliff's Notes version or the droning on version. He opted for me to just come out with whatever it was. So, I told him that for other reasons, I had been tested 5 times for STDs in the past 10 years, and thought that they had tested for everything under the sun...except they apparently hadn't. And then I just told him that the blood test for HSV came back that I carry the antibodies and that I am asymptomatic. At that point, he stopped me and said, "So, what you're saying is that you don't have HIV, right?" And I told him that no, I do not have HIV. And his response was "Then nothing else matters. This is a non-issue. Can we have sex now?" And that was it. He has no problem with it, and he did not reject me. Instead, he embraced me and we continued on with our night. SO....don't give up, and don't worry. When the partner is right for you, they won't be bothered by your HSV status. I'm feeling so incredibly blessed to have met this man and cannot wait to see where this goes!
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  2. Awwww that almost made me cry!!! That’s exactly how it should be! What a lovely man and I wish you both well. It doesn’t and shouldn’t be this big deal. It doesn’t make us bad people or dirty or diseased like some people make us feel. That’s such a lovely thing to read and has made me realise that how my ex is behaving is just unreasonable and so unfair.
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  3. Hope you are doing ok. It’s great that she’s being open with you while she tries to figure it out and work through it. I think that she’s showing she doesn’t blame you and while she may not feel ready for a sexual relationship right now - she might when things settle down. You are doing all you can and once you’re still communicating things can improve. hoping you both are feeling a little better!
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