mr_hopp

@Gabe789 — Hearing your story really moved me. It's clear you're navigating through incredibly tough times, and your honesty here is both brave and touching. I remember when I first shared my diagnosis. The first person I shared it with was my mom. She passed away a month ago, but that mother's love never goes away! When I disclosed to her, I cried in her lap for hours in her work parking lot. That moment of vulnerability and the unconditional love she showed me reminded me of the strength and support we sometimes forget we have. This love from those who care deeply for you is a powerful beacon during these dark times you find yourself in. It's a reflection of the love you can learn to rebuild within yourself. Holding onto this can be a key step in moving forward, finding peace, and healing. You're not alone, and it's okay to seek help and lean on those who offer their support. Your journey isn't defined by a single aspect of your life ... in fact, we grow and evolve most in the darkest times. (My poet friend said it so eloquently: "The darker the dark room, the more colorful and vibrant the photos.") With time, support and a positive perspective, brighter days are ahead. One day, you will look back at this journey and be proud that you made it.

Hey @laketodo It's a tough spot, feeling guilty and unsure. From what you've shared, it sounds like you're really wrestling with the "when and how" of disclosure, especially in these early, non-sexual encounters. @AlliKat12 and @Farishta brought up some solid points. Being honest and transparent, when you feel there's a real chance of getting closer, respects both your integrity and their right to make informed decisions. It's all about finding the right moment that feels true to you, without overwhelming the budding connection with undue worry. When to disclose? What I always say: When you trust this person with your vulnerability. If things seem to be heading in a more intimate direction, having that chat is not just brave, it's essential. It's okay to be scared, but remember, how someone reacts says a lot about their character. And that you are someone who discloses at all (even after a misstep) says a lot about yours. You're handling a delicate situation with a lot of thoughtfulness. If you haven't already, download the ebook on disclosure. It also comes with 2 helpful one-page handouts chock-full of the stats: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook Also, watching these videos might be helpful:

All good, negativity is perfectly understandable and totally allowed. 😉 And I totally get it — the stigma around HSV can be incredibly tough, shaping not just how others see us, but how we see ourselves. I went through a suicidal period myself early on. I really did think all was lost. But what I (thankfully) realized is that so much of this can play out as a self-fulfilling prophecy: if you brace for rejection because of HSV, you're setting the stage for it. How you carry yourself, how you disclose, it'll all set you up for a rejection that you already were anticipating and expecting. So it's crucial to shift the narrative within yourself first. Are you "damaged goods" or someone who's responsible, aware, and deserving of respect? This perspective can change the whole disclosure dynamic. Sure, some might still say "no thanks," but often, it's not just about HSV. It's about compatibility. What you're missing in the "it's more important what others think" narrative is that you have a lot of impact on how others see you and how they see herpes. The right person will look past HSV and see you for who you truly are. They will see you as the kind of person who takes responsibility and is honest, vulnerable and courageous. So your mindset and approach in disclosure can make an entire world of difference. Keep faith in yourself and the right connections will follow.

Hey @AlliKat12, It’s interesting to hear about your experience with the probiotic/prebiotic gummy and the timing of your outbreak. While there's some discussion in the community about various triggers for HSV outbreaks, it's important to remember that everyone's triggers can be quite personal. Gastrointestinal health and its influence on the immune system are complex, and while probiotics are generally beneficial, it's possible that any significant change in your body's balance might prompt an outbreak, especially if your immune system is adjusting to something new. The shaving aspect is also a well-known potential trigger because of the skin irritation. It's totally possible for something that hasn't been a trigger before to become one, as our bodies and the virus evolve over time. Stress, hormonal changes, or even slight shifts in your immune system's status can alter what affects you. Taking Valtrex is a good move to manage the outbreak, and keeping an eye on how your body reacts to new supplements or changes in routine is wise. If you continue to suspect the probiotic/prebiotic might be linked, consider discussing it with your doc or trying a period without to see if there’s a difference. Stay positive, and keep listening to your body! It's all about finding the right balance for you.

Hey @ashleytiffania, It sounds like you're really taking control of this situation — solid. The tingling you're feeling can be pretty common with HSV, especially around outbreaks or when the virus is active. It doesn't necessarily mean you'll always feel it to this extent, but it's your body's way of signaling what's happening. Regarding your immune system and suppressive therapy concerns, it's true that building a stronger immune response can take some time, especially if you're starting from a place of frequent outbreaks. Three weeks is a good start, but it might take a bit longer to see significant changes (more like 6 months to a year on average). Your approach to diet, sleep, and supplements is spot-on. Suppressive therapy is a tool, not a sentence. Many folks find it helps them manage and then, with their doctor's guidance, they adjust as needed. It's more about giving you control and reducing transmission risk than anything else. It doesn't mean you're locked in forever; it's more about finding the right balance for your body and situation. Keep up the great work on taking care of yourself and maintaining a positive outlook. You've got this, and it's okay to take it one day at a time.

Oh great! What I read said it was still in phase 1/2. Thank you!

Hey there @OB123, I totally get where you're coming from. First off, it's super courageous to even think about diving back into dating after everything you've been through. It sounds like you're really hitting it off with this new guy, and I'm rooting for you! When it comes to the big talk, honesty is key, but so is timing. Maybe start by sharing how much you value trust and health in a relationship. It can be a simple, straightforward chat about your health, much like discussing any other aspect of your lives together. And remember, the right person will appreciate your honesty and the steps you're taking to manage your health. As for those tougher outbreak times, it sounds like you're already doing a great job with the antivirals and staying informed. Just keep in mind that life's about balance. It's okay to enjoy yourself; just staying mindful of your limits is important. You're not alone in this. So many people navigate this same journey and find ways to make it work for them, finding love and happiness on the other side. Hang in there, and keep focusing on the positive strides you're making. Here are some videos that might help: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/the-herpes-talk-success https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/rejection-is-a-state-of-mind https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-talk-as-vulnerability-training https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/the-talk-stigmabusting https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/an-alternative-to-stressing https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/when-do-i-have-the-herpes-talk

Totally get where you're coming from. @Chelsea514, seems like you've got the sores under control with acyclovir, but that burn and itch are stubborn. And @OB123, it's a bummer that a little fun seemed to kick things back up. It's all about finding what works for you, which can mean tweaking meds and watching out for things like lack of sleep or partying too hard, which can throw you (and your immune system) off. If those pesky symptoms stick around, a quick chat with your doctor might help adjust things. Sharing these experiences is a big help for everyone trying to navigate similar situations. Here's to being able to let your hair down a bit more!

Hey @Farishta, It's really brave of you to share your story here. The situation you're in is tough, no doubt. It's clear you've got a lot of love for this guy, and it's heartwarming he's been supportive in so many ways. But it sounds like there's a big "but" when it comes to fully embracing the relationship because of what amounts to a simple, stigmatized skin condition. @chapstick1520 is right about the irony of him having HSV1 and the stigma around HSV2—it's all herpes at the end of the day! And @DistressedLady — I love your perspective on self-worth. It's so true. Your updates hit hard. It's a raw deal, feeling like you're in limbo over something that's part of you, but certainly not all of you. Making the tough call to not wait indefinitely shows a lot of respect for yourself and your needs. I commend you for that. The silence after your talk must be really tough. But remember, you're not toxic waste—not even close. Don't dig yourself into that hole because of his response (or lack thereof). You're a person who's capable of deep love and deserves the same in return, without reservations. It's okay to feel all those emotions, and it's okay to mourn what could have been. Your experience and strength in handling this are going to be a beacon for someone else in the same boat. And remember, your worth isn't defined by anyone's acceptance or rejection of a part of you. If anything, this step you've taken is claiming your self-worth on a deep level and having clear expectations about what you are looking for in a relationship. Sending you a lot of support and hope. Remember, one day at a time as DistressedLady said. You're not alone in this.

BD111 is a super cool development utilizing CRISPR-Cas9 technology aimed at HSV-1, primarily for treating herpetic stromal keratitis (herpes affecting the eyes). This therapy is still in early clinical trials, not yet at phase 3 (more like around phase 1/2), meaning it's undergoing safety and efficacy evaluations in mice. So yes, the promise of gene editing a cure is significant, but it's definitely still an evolving and new technology that hasn't proven itself out yet in human trials. That will be the giant leap if it can do that, but that's a fair distance away. When I first got herpes many, many years ago, there was just as much promise of a cure right around the corner. So we can certainly have hope, but certainly don't put your life on hold waiting for a cure. I would see a cure as icing on the cake of an already-great life. 🙂

Welcome back, @pecan! Your fluctuating HSV-1 IgG levels, especially with readings as high as 58 without a current outbreak, might understandably be concerning. However, IgG levels can indeed vary and aren't directly tied to the intensity of symptoms or the presence of an outbreak. The high levels indicate a well-established infection more than they do a current outbreak or low immunity. Stress, recent illnesses, or other factors could contribute to your recent weight loss rather than a serious underlying condition, especially if your other blood tests are normal. If the weight loss stabilizes and your health checks out otherwise, it might be worth focusing on stress management and overall health rather than worrying too much about the IgG fluctuation.

Hey there, @ashleytiffania! Oof, sounds like you've been through a really tough time — I'm sorry! And I totally get how overwhelming this can feel. First off, kudos to you for taking all those proactive steps to manage your symptoms. It's clear you're doing everything you can to find relief and regain a sense of normalcy. It’s really good that you're planning to see an OB-GYN and considering suppressive therapy. Those antivirals can be game-changers in reducing outbreaks and making things more manageable (daily suppressive meds can actually reduce frequency of outbreaks by 80%! More stats/details with the free ebook & handouts). About the continuous sores and sensitivity, it's definitely a smart move to get a professional to take a closer look to rule out any other issues, especially since you've noticed a persistent sore. They'll be able to swab it and get a direct result. You mentioned trying gentle sex with plenty of lube or coconut oil, which could be worth exploring with your partner, considering the precautions you're both aware of. It's all about finding what works for you without causing more discomfort or risking further irritation. Your feelings of frustration and hope for improvement are totally valid. There is absolutely hope that things will get much, much better. In fact, genital HSV-1 has a much lower recurrence rate than genital HSV-2, so you're already in a much better place with that datapoint right there. This might just be a wakeup call and a blip on the radar to get you to take great care of your body so it can take great care of you. Remember, you're not alone in this, and reaching out for support, like you're doing now, is a huge step in the right direction.

Yes, this is totally possible. 20% of all people with herpes will never have an active outbreak, but it can still be transmitted via asymptomatic viral shedding (the amount of shedding depends on the type of herpes, HSV-1 or HSV-2, and the location of the infection — more details/stats on our free ebook & handouts). And 80% of all people who have herpes don't know they have it! So that is a setup for unwittingly passing herpes. That's the first part. The second part is yes, herpes can lie dormant for years, so either you could have had herpes all along and it's only now popping up, or he could have had herpes for many years and unwittingly passed it to you. The duration before the appearance of the first outbreak after initial infection varies. A clinical study on genital herpes indicated that the incubation period, which could be considered a form of initial dormancy from exposure to the first outbreak, can range from 1 to 49 days, with some cases experiencing longer periods (Thin, 1991). However, after this initial episode (which can be minor, sometimes being misunderstood as jock itch/pimples/rash), the virus can become dormant for months, years, or even decades before triggering a new outbreak. Unfortunately it's impossible to know for sure how it all went down. How has it impacted your relationship, especially when it comes to communicating about herpes?

Hi @Chelsea514, I hear you on the neuralgia and itchy situation, that sounds super frustrating! Early on with my own herpes experience (within the first year or so), I'd get this burning sensation on the head and shaft of my penis (kind of like a sunburn feeling), but no outbreak would follow. I treated those times as prodrome symptoms and avoided any sexual activity, but eventually that went away after my immune system got a handle on it. Nowadays, I don't have any such sensations, but do have occasional outbreaks when I have gone off my daily suppressive therapy. It's interesting your doc pointed to neuralgia and gabapentin has only helped a bit. Are you also on daily suppressive therapy? That will help lessen the viral load, and hence help slow down the movement of the virus down your nerve pathways (which is what contributes to these kinds of sensations).

Hey there @juicebox8787! Your situation sounds really challenging, navigating the complexities of HSV1, especially with such a long history both orally and possibly genitally. It’s quite the journey you’ve been on with your partner, and I can imagine the frustration and confusion you're feeling. First off, it’s true that having an established oral HSV1 infection typically provides some immunity against getting the same virus genitally due to the body's production of antibodies. However, there are exceptions, and it seems like your situation might be one of them, especially considering your partner's history and your symptoms. Autoinoculation (spreading the virus from one part of your body to another) is less common but not impossible, particularly if your immune system is compromised in some way. More than half of all new genital herpes cases are via oral sex when the partner with a history of cold sores goes down on their partner and passes it that way. Negative swab tests, especially when not done during an active outbreak or on a lesion with fluid, can sometimes not capture the virus, leading to false negatives. It’s a tricky virus to pin down without the classic symptoms or during asymptomatic shedding periods. The tricky thing is if you're not having a "swabbable" active outbreak, there's not going to be a way to truly nail down what it is since a blood test will only tell you what you already know: You have (and have had for many years) antibodies to HSV-1. So yeah, you're in the midst of an annoying gray area, lacking the necessary data to have a definitive answer. Your proactive approach with antivirals is a good step, and it sounds like they’re helping somewhat, which could indicate a viral component to your symptoms. The odds and realities can vary so much from person to person. While reinfection in a different location is unlikely, it’s not out of the realm of possibility, especially in nuanced and individualized situations like yours. Hang in there, and it sounds like you’re navigating this with as much care and attention (and patience!) as you possibly can. It’s okay to seek second opinions or additional tests if you’re not feeling right. Keep us in the loop about further developments, I know it's a tough and frustrating place to be.

Hey there @Chelsjonap, Understanding herpes and transmission can feel a bit daunting and confusing, especially when you're dealing with throat herpes. It's pretty rare to find HSV-1 settling down in the throat—this virus usually likes to hang around the mouth (aka "cold sores"). There's not a ton of clear-cut science on how often or easily throat herpes can be passed along, unfortunately, so we're a bit in the dark around the data. For most people who get throat herpes that I've heard of, it's also quite rare for there to be many recurrences, especially after the body's immune system has built up antibodies to keep it under control. So should you take meds? Even though we don't know the specific shedding rate of throat herpes, taking daily antivirals can cut down whatever that risk is by about 50% because it reduces the amount of asymptomatic viral shedding. As for the safety of kissing or oral fun when you're not having an outbreak, well, it's a bit of a grey area given the rarity of your situation. But generally, avoiding close contact during outbreaks is key, and when you're feeling fine, those antivirals and your immune system are working hard together to keep things under wraps.

Hey @CFlip, it's totally normal to feel cautious and take your time before jumping back into things, especially after dealing with something as sensitive as an anal herpes outbreak. It's smart to consult with a gastroenterologist, especially given your history with hemorrhoids; they can give you the all-clear or address any other issues that might be hanging around. As for knowing when you're ready to bottom again, listen to your body. If you're still feeling sensitive or raw, it might be a sign to wait a bit longer. Everyone's recovery timeline is different, so don't rush it. And when you do decide you're ready, using barrier protection (brings down transmission by 65%) and daily suppressive therapy (brings down transmission by 50%) is a wise choice to help protect yourself and your partners. It's all about comfort and confidence, so trust your gut (and your butt!) on when the time is right.

Hey @Surferdude3536, I hear you, it's totally frustrating when you're doing everything you can, seeing specialists, and still not finding relief or clear answers. It's not common for genital HSV1 to cause constant irritation without typical outbreaks, but everyone's body responds differently to the virus. It's possible, but given your situation, it might be something else contributing to your symptoms. Since the dermatologist hasn't found clear signs of a skin condition that could be biopsied, and antibiotics haven't helped, it might be time to consider other specialists. Have you thought about seeing an allergist? Sometimes skin irritation can be related to allergic reactions or sensitivities that aren't obvious. Also, a specialist in infectious diseases could provide another perspective, especially if you're concerned about an ongoing viral impact. Expanding the types of specialists you consult could open up new avenues for diagnosis and treatment. Also, consider revisiting your current care strategies like getting a second opinion by another dermatologist or getting retested for herpes with a Western Blot test — sometimes a small adjustment can make a big difference.

Hey @Nanny — That sounds super tough, and I'm sorry you're going through this. A month is a heck of a long time to deal with such annoyance, especially with the itch and pain you're describing. It's good you're on antivirals and supplements, but if the rash isn't improving, it might be time to circle back with your doc. Sometimes, a different approach or medication might be needed to tackle persistent symptoms. Also, the fatigue and nausea you're experiencing could be side effects or related to stress from dealing with this. Hang in there, and keep advocating for your health!

Hey @JJlove and @ashleytiffania, I totally get where you're both coming from. Constant outbreaks are tough, and it sounds like you've been dealing with a lot. JJlove, the ongoing prodrome symptoms sound frustrating, and ashleytiffania, that middle-of-the-night itching sounds pretty unbearable. I'm so sorry! Both of you mentioned factors like stress and possibly being immunosuppressed. They can absolutely trigger more frequent outbreaks. The idea of cutting out high-arginine foods like chocolate might help, as arginine can fuel the virus. And @AlliKat12's question is a good one. Have you tried antiviral meds? They can cut outbreaks by up to 80% (check out the free handouts here for more helpful data), offering some relief and potentially reducing the virus's activity. Keep up with the sleep, vitamins, and maybe give those antivirals a shot if you're up for it. Hang in there, both of you.

Hey there, @Peter P It's great to hear you're looking to turn this challenging experience into something positive by helping others. @AlliKat12's approach of engaging in forums like this one is a fantastic starting point. Sharing your story, offering support, and answering questions based on your own journey can make a significant difference to someone just beginning to navigate their diagnosis. It's a gentle, yet impactful, way to step into a helping role without the pressure of starting a channel. This community thrives on mutual support and understanding, and by contributing, you not only aid others but also find a path to your own healing and peace. It’s a beautiful cycle of support where everyone benefits, including yourself. Keep embracing that positive mindset and seeking out those silver linings. Your willingness to help is already a beacon of hope for many. Your big heart and willing spirit inspire me. Welcome!

Hey @aphelognathus, I feel you. What a journey you've had, navigating the complex waters of dating and intimacy with HSV. Your frustration and feelings are completely valid. It's especially challenging when facing misconceptions and stigma, even within communities you hoped would be more understanding. (Not to mention that 1 in 5 people in those groups have genital herpes, and 80% of them don't know they have it!) The struggle for sexual and emotional intimacy is real, and it's heartbreaking that herpes becomes a barrier to connecting with potential partners. It's unfair to bear the burden of someone else's actions, and the societal reaction to herpes can be negative. And there are so, so many people who are completely understanding and great about it — a lot more than it might seem at first blush. And yes, navigating rejection (or I like to think if it more as "mismatching") is just part of the process of finding those who you will click with on multiple levels. By the way, since you mentioned you have genital HSV-1, recent research (2022) from the University of Washington will help put those transmission fears in perspective, particularly regarding genital HSV-1. Their study found that genital HSV-1 shedding declines significantly within the first year of infection, contrasting sharply with genital HSV-2's shedding patterns. Initially, genital HSV-1 carriers frequently shed the virus, posing a higher transmission risk to partners. However, by 11 months, shedding rates dropped from 12% to 7% of days, and even further to 1.3% after two years, much lower than HSV-2's consistent shedding rate. (In fact, most genital HSV-1 is transmitted oral-to-genital via oral sex; I spoke with Terri Warren about this and she said she hasn't seen any cases of genital-to-genital HSV-1 transmission in her clinic work.) This information might offer some comfort, showing that genital HSV-1's impact can change over time, potentially easing some concerns about transmission. I've also summarized a lot of helpful data to put transmission fears into perspective on the handouts that come with the disclosure ebook. Get them for free here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook Remember, there are communities and people out there who understand and accept you, herpes and all. It might take time to find them, but you deserve love and happiness just as much as anyone else. Your resilience and self-awareness are evident, even in the midst of these challenges. Keep advocating for yourself and seeking spaces where you feel seen and supported. You're not alone in this.

Hey there @Surferdude3536, Sounds like quite the confusing journey! With the symptoms you're describing and the variety of diagnoses from different doctors, I totally get how you could feel lost in all of this. Herpes typically presents with blisters that eventually burst and scab over, and your symptoms don't exactly fit that bill, especially with a protected encounter and tests coming back the way they did. The high HSV-1 IgG level indicates exposure to the virus at some point, but it doesn't necessarily mean your current symptoms are related to that, especially since HSV-1 more commonly affects the oral area (genital HSV-1 is common, too, but mostly gets passed oral-to-genital, more rare to pass it genital-to-genital). Skin conditions, especially in sensitive areas like the scrotum, can be tricky and sometimes take a while to resolve completely. It could be a range of things from dermatitis to a fungal infection, or just irritation from friction or contact with an irritant. It's great that you're seeking opinions from dermatologists; they're your best bet for figuring out skin issues. If you're still experiencing constant irritation, it might be worth exploring other non-STD related skin conditions further or even seeing if there's an allergy or sensitivity at play. Sometimes, a change in skincare products, laundry detergents, or even fabric types can make a big difference. In the meantime, try to keep the area clean and dry, avoid any potential irritants, and maybe use a gentle, unscented moisturizer to help with the dryness and irritation. And if you haven't yet, maybe a follow-up with a dermatologist or even an allergist could give you some more clarity. Hang in there, and keep advocating for yourself with your doctors. Your comfort and health are important, and there's an answer out there for you.

Hey there @KindaWorried, I totally get how nerve-wracking this situation must feel for you, especially with anxiety throwing its weight around. It's super common to start feeling every little sensation in your body when you're worried about something like this. First off, it's good you're looking into this and wanting to be responsible. HSV2 can indeed be transmitted even without visible symptoms, but you're right that the risk is significantly lower without an active outbreak (only a 4% chance per year for males even with no protection or daily suppressive therapy — read the free handouts for more). The IGg score you mentioned does indicate exposure, but it's also in that gray area where false positives can happen, especially with scores close to the cutoff. The sensations you're describing could be a lot of things, anxiety included. Since it's only been a short time since your last contact, it might be too soon for typical HSV2 symptoms to show up if they're going to at all. Many people find themselves in situations similar to yours and don't end up testing positive, so don’t worry yourself crazy (easier said than done, I get it). The waiting part is tough, but you're doing the right thing by paying attention and planning to get tested. FYI, IgG tests are notoriously not precise, so I’d consider the Western Blot, which is much more accurate. In the meantime, maybe focus on activities that help you relax and keep your mind off things. If you need someone to talk to, reaching out here is a great step. And when the time comes, getting a test will give you the clarity you need. Hang in there, you got this!

Hey there @Jayne00, Gosh, that sounds like such a tough spot you're in. Two decades is a long time to deal with something like herpes, and it's a bit of a head-scratcher when it flares up after laying low for so long, especially when you're taking such good care of yourself. You're doing all the right things with your diet and supplements, and it's clear you're on top of your health checks. Now, about these persistent flare-ups, they can be frustrating and, honestly, quite baffling. I'm not a doctor, but I've heard that sometimes the virus can get a bit more active without any clear reason why. It doesn't necessarily point to something as serious as cancer, but it's always good to keep an open dialogue with your healthcare provider about any concerns. And the thing about antivirals, they're a tool in the toolbox, right? They can certainly be a game-changer for getting those outbreaks under control since they can bring viral shedding down a whopping 50-80%. I get your worry about resistance, but that's pretty rare with herpes meds. It might be worth discussing with your doc as a temporary measure, just to get some relief and get back to feeling like yourself. Hang in there. These patches can be rough, but you're not alone. And remember, your husband's by your side through thick and thin, herpes or not. It's a journey you're on together. Sending strength your way!