Odessa

Looking back on my experience as a participant in the (h)opportunity weekend, I recall with utmost gratitude, the warmest of warm fuzzies and the deepest connections I have ever made - with myself, with others, with herpes. I can honestly say that the connections made over that transformative, magical weekend, have made for the best of my days since leaving. For many years prior to the weekend, I had felt a sense of uncertainty about life with herpes. I always found myself dwelling on the fact that I was living with a damned, dark passenger. Although entirely aware that I was a young, healthy soul full of life and love to share with the world, I disregarded all this goodness and granted herpes more time and energy than it deserved. I managed to see the silver linings in life, but still found myself bogged down by the lifelong sidekick that decided to appear unexpectedly in my life. I wanted out. I was fed up with succumbing to the negative, mental ping-pong. I was tired of offering up my happiness to a virus that by no means defined me. I finally committed to a different path of truth and acceptance, and through this quest, stumbled upon the (h)opportunity weekend. I no longer view herpes as a heavy anchor on my soul and have the (h)opportunity weekend to thank for it. I find it challenging to articulate my reflection into a few paragraphs, as the weekend serves as one of the most influential experiences in my life to date. I still feel bursts of encouragement as I reflect on the insurmountable energy that flowed throughout that meeting room each day. That room lent itself as a warm and welcoming space for each participant to bring forth feelings of fear, anxiety, hatred, love, pain, shame, joy...you name it. Participants arrived with varying levels of comfort and were accepted for every emotion they were experiencing. Participants and staff members worked together to hold one another in a space of openness, understanding and compassion. As participants, we were offered the opportunity to be our authentic selves, to feel each raw emotion and to be in tune with our bodies throughout the process. Each activity allowed us to tap into what we were feeling and to recognize from where these emotions were coming. For once, I felt completely seen, heard, understood and respected. The weekend set the stage for us to step into our own personal journey of courage and self-love. My original purpose for attending the workshop was to make sense of the icky feelings and emotions that I had chosen to overlook for quite some time. Providentially, I learned to accept myself by connecting with and learning from the other members who came and opened their hearts to our group. I finally felt that I was no longer alone in my journey and confusion about life with herpes. I was able to share in life experiences with other individuals who actually understood. I realized that all the icky feelings had led me to a place of opportunity for self-acceptance – a chance to embrace my strengths, learn from my weaknesses and melt into the highs and lows of life. Just as the staff reiterated throughout the weekend, who you are is more important than what you have. Near the end of the weekend, our group began discussing how tough the goodbye process was going to be after having created such strong friendships packed full of love and respect. We jokingly talked about how fab it would be to take every group member home with us as we returned to the realities of life outside our weekend haven. This discussion generated a humorous image of our group representing a powerhouse choir. We finally came to terms with the fact that following one another to our respective home bases was far from possible, but agreed to envision the choir standing behind and supporting us as we embarked on our new and enriched paths in life. You bet your ass I’ve envisioned our choir standing behind me on numerous occasions since leaving NC! I find peace in this vision and realize that the weekend experience was the catalyst to overcoming my personal struggle with herpes. Herpes is to blame for the deep connections I made that weekend with some of the world’s most beautiful and fierce souls. Since that weekend, I more clearly see what matters most in life (as cheesy as it sounds) – showing up in the world as your true self and becoming part of the most colorful choir. In order to move forward in this wild and wonderful world, we must first understand who we are. The weekend spent in North Carolina has inspired me to embrace who I am and to live life shamelessly. I wholeheartedly encourage you to treat yourself to the (h)opportunity weekend and to join the rest of us in this movement. Allow your healthy relationship with herpes to move from an eventuality to a reality. Own it. Infect the world with your gusto for life and every bit of wonderful YOUness. With tons o' love and support, Mack