Miss_ph

Is anyone on famciclovir as suppressive therapy? I asked my doctor for a prescription and she's given me 250mg. Her prescription is for me to take it once daily but I've been taking twice daily in the last 6 mths based on what I have read online. I'm thinking to reduce it to once daily but not sure if this is actually sufficient. Anyone who can shed light on this?

Hey Stronger24, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through all this. It's good that you have reached out on this site though. You're surrounded by people who know what it's like with the stigma and the painful episodes that herpes can bring. Can I ask, are you seeing a counsellor or therapist? It sounds like you still have the trauma from the assault. And the herpes is a physical reminder of that event. Especially since you're in a stressful time in your life, then it is important to keep going and keep working on getting through this day by day. Only you can make decisions about your marriage and work, but maybe there are little things that can help with the herpes. For example, not sure if you're taking antivirals currently for the outbreak, but once the current outbreak is over perhaps look into taking them as suppressive therapy until things are better in your life? I would also suggest downloading a meditation app - I use insight timer. Meditation has helped me improve my self esteem and got me through difficult periods. I would also encourage eating healthy and doing some exercise. If you don't want to leave the house there are a few high intensity training you can do at home that are only half an hour. I do this a lot if I don't want to go to the gym. Also, please keep posting on here if you feel like you're not coping. You can always message me privately as well if you want to vent to someone specific rather than a general post. I hate seeing people having such hard times. I've been there with feelings of depression and worthlessness, and anything I can do to help someone, even if it's just listening, I'm happy to do so. Please hang in there. Life can suck, can be so unfair, but but it can get better. Best of luck!

Hey I'm sorry to hear that you're having a hard time. I've been there, I know how it feels being rejected after disclosing, and wanting that partnership/connection with someone. At this point in my life, I'm still hoping that I will meet this person who will love me and accept me for who I am, herpes and all. However, I'm also conscious that sometimes I don't feel like I'm worth much and my self esteem can be non existent. And it's not okay for me to feel like this. So I have been concentrating on myself, by working out, eating healthy, meditating, spending time with my girlfriends, etc. I have tried to step outside my comfort zone by buying a ticket to a concert by myself because none of my friends like the band and I have registered to do volunteer work with young people who are homeless/ substance abusers. These are all fairly recent changes but what I'm hoping to gain is to feel like I have a fulfilling and rewarding life. And if I happen to meet my future partner then great, but if not then my life is not over and I can still be happy. I'm telling you all this because I want you to know that there are people around the world who have been through or going through the same emotions. That sadness, depression and anxiety can be overwhelming and it can seem like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. But I want you to know that there is hope, you will feel happy again, and your worth is not dependent on what others think or if you have a partner. I'm not going to lie, it is hard work to change your thinking, to turn the negative to positive. I have my bad days just like everyone. But take it one day at a time, really work on yourself and what you like doing, cut out the toxic people in your life. You can always vent on this forum and feel free to message me if you need someone who understands. Best of luck!

I know how you feel. I'm single, I've been single forever and sometimes it feels like I will be forever alone. That's how I think when I'm having one of my bad days, and even though I'm lucky that I have a couple of friends who I can vent to, sometimes their advice and positivity actually grate on my nerves because in my head I think, none of you have this problem so you don't know what it's like. So being able to vent in this forum and have people who are in the same situation does help a lot. Just hang in there and try to switch off the negative thoughts. Sometimes I do meditations that are focused on self love, and that helps. I think maybe start letting people in and let them know your condition, and as hard as that might be, it will be a positive step forward. I've told a few people about myself, close friends and a few who aren't so close. I needed to let it out, and I found by saying it out loud, it makes it easier for me to accept my condition. I've told 2 guys, the first one felt a bit like a test run as I didn't like him that much so his rejection didn't feel that hurtful. And the second one I really liked but he straight out told me he couldn't do a relationship with me. Despite the rejections, and I'm still raw from the second one, I'm proud that I had the guts to disclose. I'm not ready to do it again anytime soon but these baby steps are important I think. Because the person who accepts and takes the teeny tiny risk means that he really wants to be with me. You said that with your giver, if he had disclosed you probably would have accepted and taken the risk anyway. Let's both believe that there are men out there who will take that risk to be with us because we are worth it. Sorry for the essay, but your post resonated with me. Hope you are feeling better by now :)

Sorry to be the one to tell you this- but that figure comes from autopsies! Many people who didn’t know they had it test positive when their autopsy is done. Also, the percentage of people who have it and are unaware is higher- That 80/20 statistic is actually flipped- it’s 20% know, and 80% have it and don’t know. Oh right. How do you know that the stats came from autopsies? But still, does that mean they are accurate considering blood tests can produce false positives and um, well the people tested were dead so who knew if they knew about having herpes?

So apparently around 16% of the population have hsv2 but only about 80% of those people know that they have it. But if they don't know then how did this figure come about? I mean, I'm mostly ok with the fact that I have it. I had casual sex with a stranger and stupidly did not use a condom. So I have no one to blame but myself. So meeting 'the one' just became harder, but the thing is, as I was swiping tinder, i thought to myself that 1 in 7 or 8 of these guys also have genital herpes and they might not know. And then I got thinking, is this figure actually accurate? What kind of study was done and also if blood tests are not accurate due to false positive results, then are we all just spouting false facts when doing 'the talk'?? Thinking about it got me a bit bummed...

Hey @sothisislife I think maybe you need to at least wait for one date to see if there is actual chemistry between you two. I have found that text/msg connection sometimes doesn't translate to real life chemistry. And you never know he may be talking to other women as well (if he still has tinder profile chances are he is, but I could just be cynical lol). Do you think you're becoming emotionally invested from the daily texts? If you are, I would suggest making time for that date asap so that you can see if he is someone you could be interested in. If he is, then disclose before or on second date. That's what I would probably do because if he can't accept you, then at this stage it is easier to move on for yourself and him also. Although I guess some people would say that the connection is not strong enough at this stage and therefore making it easier for him to walk away. I guess it's a personal decision, but after my experience I think I would disclose earlier rather than later. This could change in the future but right now I still feel like I was a bit of a fraud and I don't like it.

Hey everyone, I'm from Melbourne Australia. I'm 36 and was diagnosed 7mths ago. Although I've been pretty positive the last few months, there are times when the sadness, unfairness and loneliness come out to play and those unwanted feels just hit me in the guts. Having someone to chat to would be great, and I would love to be able to help others get through the tough times as well :)

Thank you for your lovely response @LoveTheMountains. I think the hard thing is to stop the what-ifs. I can say that I had a feeling things might not have worked out with this guy but I can't be a 100% sure because I will never know what would have happened if I don't have H. A big part of me thinks that what is meant to be will happen, so I just have to believe and be positive. Your words about reaching out to people who you think might be sad or lonely struck a chord with me, and I think if I can make someone's day or ease someone's pain, that's a blessing and a process to love myself and those around me more. So thank you :)

Hi everyone, I have recently disclosed and got rejected. I know I did the right thing, but a part of me feels a bit guilty for not disclosing earlier. I didn't have sex with him but I guess the guilt comes from thinking that I should have disclosed earlier and not wasted his time in getting to know me. This is the wrong way of thinking, and I KNOW this, but I can't help it and I just want to share it in this community, as I have learned that sharing my pain and experiences can be liberating and just a weight off my chest. So I started talking to this guy from Tinder in November. He actually came to my house and helped me put my letterbox in the ground as I told him I needed to get it done. He went to the store to buy a shovel and cement before coming to mine, and I was so impressed cos he did all this before even meeting me. Nothing happened, we hung out and watched a movie. He came by once more after that and again nothing happened we just chilled. I was ok with all this cos I was only diagnosed 2 months before and even though I liked him, I forced myself to be content to have a nice genuine guy as a friend. We lost contact for a bit cos he ended up seeing someone, but after that didn't work out, we hung out again couple more times. Each time we would be more touchy, like snuggling while watching movies but not making out or anything like that. The fifth time he came over we actually made out and a bit more but no sex. At this point I knew I wanted to see him again and that I would tell him about herpes since I knew there would be more making out and that eventually this might lead to sex. So when I told him after the makeout sess, he listened and didn't run out the door or anything, but straight out said that it would always be in the back of his mind, that he couldn't do a relationship but definitely friendship. The thing is, I always felt that I was more invested in him than he was invested in me. And I think that even if without the herpes disclosure, he might have said no to relationship because he had said when I first met him that he was content being single and that he did not want casual sex or one night stand. So I think maybe without the herpes, maybe we would have been FWB, or maybe we would have eventually started dating, or maybe nothing would have happened and things would fizzle out. Who really knows it's all what ifs. I really liked him though, and so even though I think herpes has been a good wingwoman here, I can't help feeling like I have lost out on a possible dating opportunity as well. My thing now is that I feel like I wasted his time and I should have told him earlier. Like maybe the 4th time we saw each other when there was cuddling but no making out. And now I'm questioning myself for future dates as to when I should say something. It's all so hard to figure out, and even though I'm still on dating apps I have half a mind to delete my profile and concentrate on being single and happy for now. But I'm so lonely and I want to find that special someone. Herpes has made me reevaluate my life, my choices and my self value It's all still a work in progress, but some days I'm just so sad that I'm alone and I have real doubts about whether I would find my lifelong partner. Anyway, that is all I wanted to say as I needed to vent. Right now I just need to rebuild that courage for the next time I have 'the talk'.