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nic4897

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  1. nic4897

    Ahhhh if I could forget

    Same here, @HerryTheHerp. It's never an easy conversation. And, nowadays, ESPECIALLY, sex happens so much faster than the friendship. It makes you really think about the evolution this society has created and how people wonder how they are so hurt after it ends... myself included, admittedly (more in the past). H or not, right? How can you expect love or respect, even, when you don't know the real person.. the one who is on the receiving, opposite end? It's a trap created by yourself and what you think that person is.. a first impression..an attraction probably a reflection of your own misgivings or just plain lust. Not, that any of it is bad but if your emotions are tied it weighs heavy and causes mental turmoil when the fantasy doesn't meet reality. That's more the percentage than true love.
  2. For a brief moment, I thought tonight, as a single person, what if I could forget? Not disclose. My H happens on my arm. It isn't even in a place that my doctor says would effect someone else on meds and a good life. It happens these moments even in all my therapy and self-talking down and up... Less than 1% with condoms and my meds she says but, then I remembered I'm blood test positive for HSV2. I could affect. I am reminded of my honesty and goodness. Of how my mental landscape-escape from the responsibility might take away someone's choice and (thank goodness) I go back to when I WAS effected. It was a horrific feeling of indiscretion. I am familiar with this terrible feeling of being entirely disrespected Thank you, regret. You made me feel again that I am the best person, doing right by others. Respect. A word that is forgotten nowadays. H or not, a relationship will never work without it. Even if you aren't compatible respect goes a long way because it says, "I Love you but we're not for each other." or "I love you and this is amazing!" And, either outcome...it's OK. H is just an incompatibility or compatibility factor. Seven years last month for me. I'll never forget. It has changed me. No lie. Broken relationships and good ones too and honestly, H had nothing to do with any. It just made my approach much different.
  3. nic4897

    Joy

    Exactly! I actually wrote it for a dear friend of mine .. Nothing romantic at all. Thanks for noticing that Adrial
  4. nic4897

    Joy

    A connection that is beyond permutation. It ebbs and flows like a river. One needs and the other gives. One gives and the other is needing. It need not be complicated because the connection is strong. It need not worry boundaries because you are both strong. It's sharing your best heart regardless and sharing your worse heart regardless. A true friend never cares either. A true partner will always be there.
  5. Hello H'oppers, I have been so busy of late. It's why I have not checked in to my beautiful ones. On nights like this when the busy life quiets, I become reflective. I suppose it's why I check in to join those who also wear their hearts on sleeves. My hope is in the rebirth of a new week everyone rejoices. The "halleijuiah" comes when we accept ourselves and everyone around. Let's make that affirmation at the very start. Goodnight, HOpp. ~Nic
  6. nic4897

    Hiii

    So well put, @HerryTheHerp :) Hope all is well in your world.
  7. nic4897

    Hiii

    Oh my H ' oppers.. How I adore u. Here's my story. It's brief. Gal falls for guy. He wasn't truthful and the rest you know. Truth - I could have been more responsible in the moment. Truth - I could have waited more before I knew him well enough to decipher what he never revealed. But, here's the thing. My card was drawn. Truth -- I wouldn't have it any other way. I used to have a martyr mind set. I promised seven years ago this May 1st that I would never pass herpes onto another. I was foolish in my martyrdom. I have never passed it. For awhile I limited myself to those who had it when I realized by this forum that I was limiting potentials, a universe unknown. I was running from my own self, my own insecurities that went way beyond herpes. Herpes was my crutch toward finding a true other that would support me on the way that I exuded upon to everyone as a friend, a mother, a person, as an independent woman. Herpes is hard because it leaves you vulnerable to having a conversation that leaves you to the judgment of someone you believe you should care about whole heartedly. But, herpes is not to blame. It's ourselves we should blame for that conversation. The conversation should act as a ripped off unapologetic band-aid ripping. Unfortunately, our psyches tell us different. It tells us because of taboo that once again we are not worthy. But, if we believe, we most definitely are. It tells us you suck they are more worthy because they haven't got herpes. And, that's ridiculous. We have a skin condition brought about by sexual contact. That's all. What we have is controllable and not an excuse to limit ourselves to sub par. It takes awhile to get here. But, I am. And, I'm so grateful to know I an so much beyond this mind set of , "I'm not worthy." In general, with every good friend feed I accomplish, with every good mother task I complete.. With very good worker.. Yogi... Community member .. I remember who I am. Im compassionate, caring, and complete. And, herpes will never define that otherwise. And, that is my story.
  8. @wcsdancer Ash is just powerful in her vulnerability .. We all need to come out of the closet one day to someone or everyone. Authenticity is just being brave :)
  9. The universality she speaks and the three points we could all use on a daily. Please watch and enjoy :) Check out this video on YouTube:
  10. nic4897

    Hey there loves

    So glad to hear that @wcsdancer . My thoughts are w you and your heart :) how is ur dad?
  11. nic4897

    Hey there loves

    What's up with y'all tonight? No Poems just asking sincerely. Love, Nic
  12. nic4897

    Spring

    Sorry for the poem .. It's just the way I can accurately communicate.
  13. nic4897

    Spring

    When you realize you're white light .. I smile. And, the world stands still. Because it knows the power of my happiness. You frown and I give. Too much. So I'm at minus and you're gaining from negative consequently. It's my choice to give. It's my revelation to understand when I'm unneeded. Force me and I'm gone. Push my boundaries and I'm gone. My light is a commodity to all. I must learn to choose when I give.
  14. nic4897

    Spring

    Hope you're well @wcsdancer :)
  15. nic4897

    Spring

    It's time to build something jaw dropping. It's time to bring something that changes my world. It's time to change the world. In a positive dramatic occurrence where every inhabitant stops and wonders what they can do to change too. To help.Spring cleaning my house will help me change. For the ages. For the better and for always. It comes. It's time. It's time for the new way.
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