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Adrial, thank you. I don't think it's ever been described to me as such. Thanks, Green eyes. You're awesome, Dancer.

Man o' man can I appreciate all of what you're saying. I am definitely feeling worn down for a whole host of reasons. Whatever you do though.. never be jaded. Keep the faith. Keep hope. I promise you. There are better things, times and people. You can only look ahead to see them. xx

So happy you found someone that loves you so much to be supportive. Blessings to you :)

Awww Thanks, Dancer. I'm actually ok. This was actually about the person who gave it to me years ago. A childish poem for sure but last night it hit the spot. :)

Yup. It's like I can see the scene. ;) And... Oh my gosh! I am sorry you experienced that horribleness. I am sorry for him too! Imagine being that thoughtless and unsympathetic! He obviously wouldn't be able to connect with you emotionally anyhow. I don't understand how shut off from the world others can be sometimes. Geez! I don't often write poetry so last night was sorta odd. Go with the flow anyhow, right ;) I'm actually fine believe it or not. And, your'e correct. Now, I'm open. We're open. How exciting is that ;)

Incessant poetry night ends with this.. hopeful. I am an optimist :) To New Him My wish tonight. I imagine our life. Coffee and breakfast on a deck with the ocean behind us. Walks and talks of all topics and scenery. I’m proud to be by your side. Your other, your support. I’m cared for and my feelings prioritized firstly. I manage trials and tribulations knowing that I am caught when I’ve fallen. I imagine careless kisses, long, deep and hard. Soft in feeling but wrought in intensity. There’s a knowing that I’ll always be well. I miss you now. Not knowing who you are or where you are. I am longing. Love. I’ve been away from you for too long.

Incessant poetry writing night... sharing. Sorry for the darkness. To Him It hurts. I’m brought to a place I wished never existed. It’s real. The pain. Knowing someone you thought was a savior is a fallacy. People lie here. This world is not without sin and isn’t forgiven on this plane. I once thought the after life was in your embrace. I am reminded each day that it was not. I’m forgotten. Thrown aside, manipulated. The happiness I thought you found in me was constructed. I believed. Lessons. Soul mates. You are a part of me always but not the part I want to remember. I wish I could forget. I wish to be forgiven. Here.

Cue my choice ballad tonight. Bob Seger's, "We've got tonight." and the incessant poetry writing. ;)

Oh my gosh, you're so sweet. :) No. We are very good friends and always will be. That's more than what anyone could ask from a realization that you're just not meant to be.

Thanks for reading, love :)

Ha! Ah.. lamenting writers. We're just romantics at heart. :)

Love. Like a luminescent star, you shine. In the light of a grinding day, I never see you. Only when the world has quietly blackened do I stare up as my restless self. Looking for the dawn of a new tomorrow. I gaze to dream. I imagine the intensity of your bits of electricity. I see you in the distance. I wish you closer. I sleep in silent hope.

Hello all! I hope everyone had a fantastic holiday! I am certainly enjoying this Friday break! Much needed rest! So here I go... I am thankful for being able to support myself financially, physically, and spiritually. I am grateful for my job. The fact that I have a fantastic day job but then had this crazy idea that I could get paid to write and just sorta did it... Successfully. Crazy!! I adore writing. I feel blessed to be able to get paid to do what I love. I love my family. I love my crazy two brothers, my parents and my brilliant children. I may be a single mom but we make a fantastic family. I love my best friends who have become my family. I love that I can walk down the road from my house and reach the ocean. I love that I can have breakfast on my porch and look out and see the ocean in the distance. I love running. I am Thankful for being able to run. I am thankful I get to teach yoga and am able to choreograph some awesome flows for people. Im happy that I'm alive. Im happy and thankful that I'm healthy. I'm Thankful that I'm able to live the life ive always dreamed sans partner or whichever. I am thankful that I actually love my heart and have surrounded myself with the same type of loving folks. Which brings me to all of you. I'm thankful for your support. I'm Thankful that it could be a trying one am moment of doubt for me and all of you are a discussion away. :) I'm very grateful for all of you!

Big H Opps Hugs to you too, Adrial! Happy holidays, love xxoo

;)

I haven't been on in awhile but has this forum broken out (cue bad joke). :) I'm so pleased to see this community rallying together. I believe in all of our paths and in all of us finding the right person who accepts us wholeheartedly. I've learned so much in the past months. I learned once I was passed my shame that dating is pretty normal. You feel insecure about the future of the relationship due to reasons outside of herpes. You feel fantastic about the relationship due to reasons outside of herpes. Once I got passed my herpes it was all about the same things we struggled with previous to accepting the opportunity. Yet, the opportunity itself helps with everything outside of having herpes. For instance, getting to know someone previous to becoming intimate to see if they are worthy of being inside your body. Understanding your own insecurities and not letting the fear interfere with the progression of a relationship. It's so ironic that herpes fear translates to self worth and once getting passed herpes, run of the mill relationship fears translates to self worth. That's where I am and that's where learning to transcend over my fearful self will help me discover if a relationship fits or does not. Chin up fellow H'ers there is a familiar life out there but it's the new unfamiliar life that really will help us follow the better path. Cheers, loves xx

So I know you understand the hurt of your story so I'll save that part. I will share what I've discovered and it may be the greatest result about your story. I was diagnosed seven years ago. I trusted him and blah blah I'm sure you can figure out the ending. The greatest part about this whole thing is that you now have a chance. A chance to seperate who actually cares as well as who really couldn't. This condition changes our awareness to filter who we trust in our bodies and who we do not in a way you probably never thought previous to this experience. Yes. You lose some freedom. But, equally you gain it because with our greatest weaknesses come our greatest strengths and I promise you the strength you gain from this new way of thinking will far surpass any psychological weakness of choosing who is kind and who isnt. The person you next choose will ultimately be a great person because you would have intrinsically felt they are kind enough to disclose and still respect you and themselves in the end. It's a safeguard that wasn't there in the experience you described first. It's awesome and it's what you deserve. Blessings :) Good luck and welcome here!

@peaches... Mssg me for anything !!! Would adore helping and it's my practice as a Vinyassa instructor and as a fellow H.. It's my world and I love it!!! Yogis are awesome peeps and I have devoted my life to it .. As an instructor and as a person struggling like you with the cards that are dealt in life .. H or not... Mssg me and I'll give you flows to follow with your busy life for sure ;)

I was officially published as an author tonight and wanted to share with all of you .. You're all fab .. Check out my new article on yogic breathing and anxiety and depression and let me know what u think .. Cheers to me ;) red wine in hand loves ;) http://www.massageschool.org/blog/2013/11/07/yoga-breath-practices-for-anxiety-and-depression/

Just being full of gratitude tonight. This week has been really amazing for me. It's been amazing because I know now I have fellow H'ers with good hearts and great love supporting me and all others here. It's truly a pleasure to be a part of this community. I wish I had this forum when I was diagnosed in 2007 but regardless you're all here now. I needed support this week and you're all a "discussion" away. Thank you and bless you all wherever you are tonight. Please know you're never alone. :) Great big hugs xx

Thank you @dancingintherain! You're really sweet and encouraging. I am going to give this time. I think it has a lot of potential, else I wouldn't have told him. He really is a wonderful person and I need to be just as patient with the circumstances as he wold need to be. If it doesn't work out romantically, I know we would be just as good as friends .. which is really all that counts. Thank you, again for listening and commenting :) Big hugs xxoo and good luck to you as well!!!

I totally didn't realize I was getting sucked into paranoia again. Man... this is such a process. Yes, it does and thank you.. yet again!

So, like I said in a post a few days ago... I've been dating someone I disclosed to for a month. We know a lot of the same people and we have been keeping the interaction away from prying eyes until we figure us out. We haven't committed but we both aren't seeing others and have plans for dates about a month out. He is very supportive of me having H and has never really made me feel rejected ... until last night. So, we had sex without a condom. I have condoms and I'm on daily suppressants and he and I have been tested (and honestly when I do break out it's on my arm and not in the genital area) but somehow he initiated it and I let it happen. I have explained all the stats to him and he is fully aware of what it means to him. After sex, he admitted we should use condoms from now and that it scares him to death that he might catch it. He said he would never blame me because he knows where the condoms are but that it scares him in fact and I quote "to death". I could tell too because it even seemed that after he seemed apprehensive to even want to sleep naked next to me. We did for most of the night but I dunno... I made him promise that we'd talk about it but honestly what future does this have? I seriously was disturbed all night because I just felt like I should end it because I felt bad about myself and felt bad that I was just too heavy for him. I mean he says he likes hanging out with me and that you have to peel back the layers of someone but honestly what does that matter if intimacy is just such a heavy issue. Previous to this, I have really only been with people that have it .. never passed it along to anyone so really this seems really new to me. I'm so confused between the balance of keeping someone safe from my condition and honoring my own needs for feeling safe emotionally when intimate. Confused!

:) This is fantastic news :) Congratulations!

Just proves true love truly does exist. Thanks for sharing :)