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RxQueen

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  1. I was diagnosed with HV2 in September. I told my boyfriend at the time, we were in a long distance relationship (he’s in the army), when I was positively diagnosed. I was molested and didn’t realize it happened until my first outbreak. I felt awful and I immediately shared with my boyfriend my diagnosis because I didn’t want us either to get more emotionally invested in our relationship if he couldn’t handle being with someone with HV2. He was my support through it all. He said “it doesn’t change you as a person, you’re still the same beautiful person you were before” “wearing condoms is a small price to pay in comparison to dating you.” He was my rock and I relied on him as my emotional support. A few months later he found out he couldn’t be deployed if he ever got HV1/HV2, so we broke up. I have felt so lost without him. He got me inside and out, not just emotions attached with my diagnosis. But I am so scared I won’t find that same support I had in him. It has me missing him and it makes me resenting the army. I constantly question if I’ll ever find someone who was as understanding as he was. He acted like it meant nothing to him and he never treated me differently or let me talk or think of myself any differently. I just feel so hopeless in thinking of finding someone like him. I feel angry towards the army, sad and anxious for my future, and lacking self confidence. I need help with these things. I have friends who are aware of my diagnosis but I feel like no one really understands. I don’t wanna keep comparing everyone to my ex or pine after him but he just got it. I wanna be hopefully for being open towards the possibility of a new relationship but I feel so isolated right now. I also get so anxious when I notice a guy flirting with me because in the back of my mind I think, how would he react if I ever had to tell this guy I have hv2?
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