Honeybear22

I totally agree with your response! Just needed to make sure I wasn't naiive and that it's an ahole move of him! Thank you so much for the kind words and advice 🙂

This is so spot on and a PERFECT answer! Thank you so much.

Hi!! I'm 23 and I have had herpes for almost two years. In November, I started dating a new guy and disclosed to him before we had sex. He took it fine and just said he knew that it is very common but said he wasn't too educated on it so I explained to him all the information about it and transmission rates and etc. He said he would like to keep seeing me. We just connected so well and I was happy that he wasn't turned away by this. Well..a few weeks later he ghosted me and I figured it was because of the herpes and I have to understand there can be rejection. However, a few months later, we recently started chatting again as friends and we just figured we have gotten busy with our own lives and it was like nothing happens.. Anyways, for the first time since november, I hung out with him and ended up sleeping at his place. Things were getting steamy and when I told him to just give me the green light if he wanted to have sex but he said "he just wasn't ready".. I totally respect that. I do. But this is also the second time where he has declined sex and he will try to resort for me to just give him oral..Is that fair? Am i stupid?? I just almost regret telling him at all and it makes me upset and brings me back to all of the feelings I felt when I first got herpes. Things like this didn't happen before my pre-herpes life.. I just really need some advice on what to do with this situation. I just don’t understand his intentions and i dont know if it’s worth keeping him in my life or moving forward

Hello! I am very new to this community and am reaching out for some advice and guidance. I am 22 years old and was recently diagnosed about six months ago with genital herpes. The twist is, I was in a serious relationship and we were both tested for STD's at the beginning of the relationship and we both came back with no STD's. The crazy thing is, you don't get tested for herpes during a regular screening. About six months into our relationship, I had a bump on my private area and just thought it was an ingrown hair. I went to the doctor and within a second of looking, the doctor said "genital herpes". I wanted to throw up, this couldn't be right. So many things rushed through my head. Did my partner cheat? Did he have it and not tell me? I just couldn't help but feel so disgusted because I just couldn't believe this could happen, especially when you are in a relationship. Long story short, my partner never had any outbreaks and it happened to be one of those rare chances that he possibly had oral herpes and never showed any symptoms and gave me genital herpes by giving me oral sex. Still to this day, I have a hard time wrapping my head around the science behind all of this. The scariest part is, no one ever really thinks of HSV1 AND HSV2 being the same thing. We ended up breaking up because I just always felt resentful and devastated. I am now seeing someone new and am planning to disclose. This is my first time having to actually tell someone about it and I am so scared. I just wouldn't know what I would say if someone told me this because I would never think of herpes as something that isn't a big deal. This is the first time I have to force myself into becoming comfortable with talking about it. Any advice would be so helpful.