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HeyTotoro

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  1. Another update: I had a major breaking point last Tuesday. Drove all the way to work and sat in the parking lot crying, with my head in a dark place. I snapped out of it and immediately texted my husband letting him know I had to go to the ER or Urgent Care. Got home and just lost it, he didn't know what to do but gave me the depression hotline number so I could talk to someone, which was SUPER helpful. Spoke on the phone for about 40 minutes with the helpline and felt a little more calm afterwards. Fortunately the Dr. Office called before I left the house for Urgent Care to schedule an appointment. I let them know where I was at mentally and the current state of my physical symptoms. She was able to get me in an appointment that day. We get to the clinic and I had to see a different doctor since my PCP was out of the office. He took another look at my hands, and said, "Nope, not whitlow. I've never seen a case of HW before because they're incredibly rare." He then addresses my anxiety and depression because of this whole ordeal. Prescribes me anxiety medication and refers me to neurology so I can try and get some answers. I leave feeling a little bit better. Husband insisted that I speak to a therapist so right after my appointment I call the Behavioral Health department. Let them know that I was in a really dark place earlier that morning. They scheduled me to come in later that afternoon. I know that herpes of the hand sounds so silly to some people, and I never thought I'd be a person who obsesses over the possibility of having this but that doesn't negate how I'm feeling both emotionally, physically, and mentally. There ARE worst things out there, but that doesn't help me with what I'm feeling. The good out of all of this is that I'm fighting to get answers and continuing to seek help because I know that I need it and I desperately want it. I apologize for the venting and frustration, I'm just allowing myself to feel a little down today before I pick up whatever bearings I have left and push on. ------------------------------ In regards to my physical symptoms: I now have the tingling on all ten fingertips. There is the forming of a blister on my left middle fingertip (raised white spot with red border). Both middle fingers are sensitive to touch all around the nail with blood spots and tenderness around the cuticles; however, I think the blood spots and tenderness might be due to wearing band aids on those digits.
  2. Yeah, I really think I must’ve spread the virus through blowing my nose when I had the OB in my nostril. Are you no longer worried about viral shedding st this point? That’s what I’m looking forward to.
  3. No worries, I haven't had the blood test. I've had cold sores ever since I was 10 so I know I have some type of HSV.
  4. @SB84 I've definitely considered being checked for diabetes. I have a follow up appointment in three weeks with her so I'll definitely address my continued concerns with her and request testing to troubleshoot what is going on. I wish there was some way to test for sure that it's not HW (without the blisters since I have none lol) so I can have peace of mind about that and focus on a remedy for what may really be the culprit. Thank you for hearing me out, you're the first person who I've been able to speak with that actually has OBs and can provide SOME understanding. I really appreciate it.
  5. @SB84 Yeah, I'm currently wearing wrist splints. It seems to be helping? I don't know. I'm obviously super skeptical because the feeling in my fingers (and now toes) all happened to occur after my secondary outbreak in my nose, and I fear that I wasn't as careful with preventing auto inoculation to my hands. I'm just completely thrown off because this tingling has been happening since last month! The tingling and burning has now started to happen in my left big toe, and naturally I thought back to the time I trimmed my nails on my hand and then on my feet a few weeks ago. I go back and forth between being logical that this could be something else and HW. I fear the pain portion, because I've read on your posts and others that it's super painful! But at this point, I just want there to be an actual OB so I can get this over with.
  6. @SB84, how are you doing now that it has been some time since your original post? I'm currently experiencing a lot of what I think is prodrome on some of my fingers and am curious if this is going to be something I'll eventually get over.
  7. Update...I still have HS2.....And i still don't care....Hopefully this made somebody laugh! This totally made me laugh! Thanks for sharing your journey Seastar. It really does make a difference for me when I jump on the forum for some mental support. Today's a rough day for me...so this was good. :)
  8. Just wanted to give a follow up on my Dr's appointment last Friday. She diagnosed me with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and said that it would be very difficult for me to auto inoculate myself from the HSV that I have orally and in my nose to my hands. SO, now I'm wearing wrist splints on both hands. The GOOD NEWS is, this doctor is very supportive of HSV suppressant therapy and put me on Valtrex for my oral OBs. Since those have been flaring up more frequently due to stress at work and hormonal issues that I happen to be going through in addition to all of the other joys in life. Obviously, I'm still checking my fingers like a crazy person for blistering because I was SO convinced that I had whitlow. I hope to keep this post updated with my experiences since finding any type of information on whitlow is difficult even on the internet.
  9. @SoManyQuestions18 I've always wondered how people can choose to be ignorant about something in their life that impacts other people. How are things between you both currently? Are you taking time apart until you can get your head wrapped around everything? That would be my number one recommendation is that you take however much time you need (and that is required obviously with the testing and waiting) to take care of your self-mentally, emotionally, and physically.
  10. How long have you guys been sexually active without condoms? I only ask because if you haven't already had an outbreak by now and you have been together for this long, then that's a good sign... I'm so sorry this happened to you. You are not alone in feeling lonely and scared. I think the most important thing for you to do is first, wait for the results and try to find a way to keep mentally calm (very hard to for most and easy for some) until then. There are several people here who are well experienced and can be super helpful!
  11. Could be stress, diet, anything that throws your body for a loop. I've recently discovered L Lysine supplements and the Super Lysine ointment. The ointment works wonders for me personally and I've prevented an outbreak as long as I put the ointment at the first tingle. The blister forms but is super small and not noticeable, looks like a pimple. If you're on Valtrex and healing, then you're on the right track! Definitely a good idea to focus on eating good, and working out any unnecessary stressors that might be stimulating the outbreak. Hope you feel better soon!
  12. @RegularGuy Thank you for this detailed journey you've shared with us. ALL of the feelings you shared are feelings I'm currently going through, and reading your posts have been insightful, transparent, and in more ways uplifting. I am constantly "inside my head" thinking and talking things through with myself. Some days, I'm really able to pull through and others, it's down right hard to not think about anything else but the H. Even when I'm not thinking about IT, I'm thinking of the time before it, and what things would be like....which we all know isn't healthy. I think what's really important for me personally right now, is that I allow myself the time to grieve and process, but then pick up from where I left off and continue the fight to live the best life I can!
  13. Herpes on the my lips, in my nose, and all but two of my fingers. Could definitely use some support or someone to talk to.. especially with whitlow experience, since I feel like I'll always be living in fear of spreading to more places with my hands. I am 30 and don't mind talking to male or female. We're all the same and in this together. :)
  14. Hello. I have had herpetic whitlow since October when I had my first outbreak. Since then it has pretty much been constant prodromes and small outbreaks. Basically just enough to have to worry about covering my hand everyday of my life (since I have a 2 year old). Its possible to feel prodrome in your hand from my experience, but if you have never had actual sores on your hand I wouldnt ve too concerned about it. Im almost positive that you can only shed herpes where you have had a past outbreak. Meaning if you have never had a lesion on your hand, I dont see how it could be shedding from there. Also sometimes I think we get tingles on our hands in general that has nothing to do with herpes Thank you for the response! I'm really stressed about the fact that I'm feeling prodrome on nearly all of my finger tips. It comes and goes, but I think I'm finally have an outbreak on my right ring finger since there are visible vesicles and the pain was horrible last night. I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow about being on suppressive therapy to try and combat this. I too have been wearing gloves when I shower and have had very limited hand contact with my husband. Are you taking any medication to treat your smaller outbreaks?
  15. Well yesterday was the first day I broke down in tears and ended up crying for at least two hours until me and the hubs had to meet up with friends for dinner, and even then, my mind was consumed with the thoughts that "this is going to never end..." Throughout dinner, I could feel the "tingling" and burning in the palms of my hand...and then panic would settle into my brain making me lose focus of what was being discussed at the dinner table. I keep thinking on how I COULD HAVE prevented this. I originally only had oral herpes, but then I spread it to my nose, which was already frustrating as it is, but now I'm certain I have whitlow since the blisters on one finger have finally surfaced. I count it as a blessing and a curse since I was worried that no apparent blisters would make my doctor appointment tomorrow pointless since they usually needs to see "lesions" or evidence that a cold sore is forming. I'm constantly looking at my hands in fear that sores are going to breakout in random places. And of course, last night was the first night I experienced the most severe pain in my fingers, palm of my hands, and even my elbows. I've never experienced being in a place of depression and anxiety until this time in my life. I'm thankful for my understanding husband, but I still feel alone in my own world, ya know? I know that there is an end to this tunnel somewhere, but selfishly in this moment, I feel like this is never going to end and I feel hopeless... I just really needed to get that off my chest.
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