Hi Everyone,
I just found this group, I was motivated to search for something like this after watching Brene Brown's TedTalk on dealing with Shame (which turned out to be featured on this site!).
Anyway, in the past couple weeks I've been encountering a lot of unkind and sometimes brutal herpes jokes. In the media-- "Pitch Perfect" (the movie), "South Park" etc....and then also the 'accidental' jokes brought up in casual conversation. For example, a guy I am talking to (and interested in) mentioned buying used shorts, which I joked was gross and he said, "only if the previous owner had Herpes!"...*crickets chirping*, I laugh nervously. Good thing we were on the phone and not in person because he would have seen the "terrified rabbit" look on my face! I felt like someone had punched me in the gut and I started tearing up..all the while attempting to continue a normal conversation.
Has this happened to anyone before? How harshly do you judge a person who makes these type of jokes? Should I stop talking to the guy? This view and these offhand comments about Herpes (and the horrible stigma) are so common (and stem from ignorance) that I have no idea how to handle this. Any advice? Should I call the person out in the future?
Thanks