namastepositive

hello everyone, As 2018 was looking up for me and I was working on myself, I had met this amazing man in a small town that I moved to and he's in his early 20's and I'm in my late 20's. We hit it off and I really thought to myself that this can be my next boyfriend. Well Valentine's Day comes and we had an unprotected sex. A couple days later, i notice him becoming more distant and he told me that when he gets sick, he likes to be alone. While I was at work, I get a text from him asking him to call him back because he has an important question to ask me. He later told me that he has bumps all over and asked me if I was clean. I told him I got tested before and I was negative. (chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphillis, and HIV) Well, fast forward to that... I got checked for hsv 2 using the blood test and I turned out to be positive. I told him about it and he got upset. Well to make this story short, we stop talking but I still genuinely care about him. I called him a couple of weeks ago and he told me that since his first outbreak in February, it hasn't stopped and he's had 2nd and now his 3rd outbreak. I feel so guilty!!! I keep praying to God that I should be the one getting the outbreaks back to back instead of him. To make it worst, I don't have any outbreaks what so ever. How is this fair that he's getting all the outbreaks and I'm not getting any? He didn't deserve any of this and I honestly feel like I just ruined his life. It's already May and I've been so depressed about the whole situation feeling so alone. I wanna be there for him but he's shutting down and the worst part is I actually really care about him until this day. I know that he suffers from severe anxiety as well and I feel like this is just mentally beating him down and I don't want that for anyone that I care about. I just got out of depression and anxiety the beginning of this year and now, I'm back in this dark hole again. I started taking antidepressant 3 days ago and anti-anxiety to help me cope. Please someone tell me that he won't be getting outbreaks consistently. I've read up on people getting consistent outbreaks and I'm praying that he's not going to be one of those people. I need to hear stories or see some light about someone getting outbreaks back to back to back and not having one for a while. He's on all the medications you can think of but nothing seems to help! Someone help me see the light of this tunnel and see how I can help him. I'm so sad, angry, and depressed with this whole situation. If herpes weren't here, I'd probably be in a strong happy relationship with him instead of this emotional turmoil. I'm mentally and emotionally drained thinking about this 24/7 since my diagnosis. I worry for him more than myself and it's driving me crazy. Trying to stay positive. -namastepositive