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Peach5678

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Everything posted by Peach5678

  1. I really hope my bf will accept me for it, some ppl just don’t understand that herpes isn’t life threatening. Ugh I hope it’ll be ok I just want to be happy :/
  2. my story is really long and confusing and I just feel ashamed and disgusted with myself. I’m hoping someone can give me some support. So a year ago I found out I had herpes type 1 in my genitals, I was in so much pain down there it stung and itched but it didn’t really clue in that I could have an std. i got tested and it turned out I also had gonnorhea, I remember sitting in the doctors office and he came in and he was telling me all this information I felt so disgusted with myself. I wanted to die, the first week was the hardest I was in so much paid physically and mentally I felt like I had no one to talk to I couldn’t even look at myself. I felt so stupid that I could have prevented this, why did this have to happen to me? I felt like I would never find someone that loves me so what was the point in living. I’ve had previous mental illnesses like depression, anxiety and I used to self harm. So finding out that I had this disease almost ruined me. I felt the need to tell someone so I told two of my best friends at the time, they said they didn’t judge me. A couple months went by and I felt better I hadn’t had anymore outbreaks. I stopped being friends with the girls I told about my condition because they started being really rude towards me and I didn’t want that negativity in my life. Eventually I found out that they were telling people I had herpes, I was so scared and I felt betrayed. Everyone would think I’m disgusting and no one would want to date me or be my friend. I was seeing this guy at the time and he had heard about me having herpes but he didn’t believe it. And when people asked me if it was true I said it was a rumour my ex friends made up about me. How could I admit something like that? I forgot to mention I was 17 at the time so as you can imagine teenagers are pretty cruel to each other. So months go by and I start dating the guy I’ve been seeing, we never had sex without a condom and we are always safe the only problem is I haven’t told him I have herpes. We’ve been dating for 8 months now and we love each other very much. He’s the most important person in my life, we’ve been through a lot together and I can see myself being with him for a long time. I just can’t tell him my condition, most of the time I even forget I have herpes I just live my life like a normal person! I do want to be honest with him and explain my condition but I just feel I can’t because of the rumours he’s heard he will think I lied to him. And I feel like he will freak out and not understand that this disease isn’t life threatening. I wish people wouldn’t judge without understanding. I just want to be happy and live life. Not debate killing myself because of this disease, I’ve already stuggled with enough in my life. Also I’ve been taking valtrex since I started dating this guy and I didn’t have any more outbreaks until a couple days ago. I haven’t had sex with him because I know that’s very dangerous and he could potentially catch the virus. I’m going to wait until it clears up down there. I Know that if I do not tell him and he catches it I believe I would be sued. I’m just hoping that by taking the valtrex 500mg everyday and using a condom I will not pass it on to him. Can someone please give me some advice? I want to tell him eventually i just don’t know when and how.
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