Aimi

<3

Ugh what the hell. I meant ------> =)!!!

=)))))))))

YESSSSAH! <3

Love this... I am ever grateful for all of you... it is so beautiful to watch relationships blossom as we share our stories and lend our support. You all have inspired me to a higher me in many different ways. I've learned more about life and love here, in the last few months, than I ever have. & My little man, Reign... my Sonshine <3

Thinking off!! Haha, Yeaa I saw that on Strange Sex a little while ago too! I'd so be down to try one of those sessions! Whythehecknot.

& Just to add- Get involved when you're ready. However long that may be. Maybe you do need some time to yourself. But don't let Hsv be your hindering force whenever you do feel ready. Xo.

Yea, I hear that too, for sure! I'm almost a year in and I still question what the hell my body is doing sometimes. & From what I've read and the stories shared here- we still have a ways to go. But, we'll get there eventually :) For me, it's usually about a week before everything starts feeling back to normal. & I also take antivirals whenever I (think I) feel an ob starting. (I just started taking antivirals daily, but that's really for my partner's sake- I wouldn't otherwise). I think the best we can do is have a "better safe than sorry" mentality- for now, while we learn how our bodies are working with all of this. No below the belt activity during any of that itching, tingling, whatever. In the mean time- social, feel-good, HUMAN interaction is probably just what the doctor ordered and perfectly okay :). It makes me sad to read that ppl completely shut out the world after Hsv... I've been there and it hurts so much and doesn't help the emotional/mental aspect of the healing process at all. But anyways, when you are involved with someone there is still plenty you can do during an ob- just gotta' be creative ;)

I know that feeling girl! I even felt guilty for talking about sex in a non-sexual context (if that make sense?). I felt like flirting was dishonest. Being sexy- dishonest. Being my damn self- dishonest. & It was ridiculous because I was robbing myself of happiness and fun and all those little joys of life that we are all very entitled to! Live the life you deserve! If intimacy is not in progression- you don't owe him that. Xo.

Hey! =) I just wanted to say, you can use "normal" dating sites, date people who are H-, and still be EXTREMELY honest! Waiting until the RIGHT time to disclose is not withholding, dishonest, or hiding- anything. You could also do what Dancer does and put that information in your profile (if that's the route you prefer), I know she's received amazing responses- talk to her! My point is- Why limit yourself. We're not tainted. We're not less than. We're not second class members of society. Why not try both? & If you have to disclose to someone who is H-, the experience will be empowering and liberating (regardless of the outcome). Your character will be strengthened in ways that no other experience will afford you. Just something to think about :) Best, Xo!

I have the biggest grin for you! Ear to ear! Not even necessarily because of his reaction (although that is awesome too!) but because of your courage! You originally posted just yesterday and already jumped right in there! You're badass. You're badass & you're valuable. Very valuable. Make sure he continues to treat you as just that. Enjoy!

Totally agree with everything that's been said, of course! Just wanted to give that extra support! :) In no way are you being dishonest. In no way are you painting a picture of someone you're not. Hsv is a very very tiny fraction of who you are and in no way does it define you or your character. I'm sure there are a million awesome things about you that completely eclipse this "flaw". Let him get to know those things. Like Dancer said, he needs to first EARN the right to that information by proving to you that his character is worthy. & He plans on doing that by showing you his awesomeness- so don't hold back yours! He's not perfect, no one is. Have fun, flirt, get to know each other and in time he WILL have his own "flaws" to reveal cause' we ALL do. H is just one of ours (hell, it could be one of his too). Best, Xo!

Wow! You move me. Xo.

Ohh girl!! I was actually thinking about you the other day, wondering how you were coming along. What great news! Let all of your light continue to shine right through that dark cloud. You are so brave. Definitely take it one day at a time. I wish you all the best! Xo.

Yay Willow!! You're awesome! Xo.

Yeaaa Dancer!! I totally realized that- after the fact! I was so worried about what I could pass that I wasn't even considering myself! Silly. Now we've gotten everything all in the open on both ends! It feels so liberating to be knowledgeable and in control of my sex life- as far as health goes. That is- as in control as I can be. Good looking out. You're the bomb! I have learned so much from you, and everyone else here.

I personally would still disclose... Oral sex is still sex and I think it's important that statuses are discussed before sex of any kind. Plus, if I was in my partner's position- I'd want to know & I'd feel deceived if I found out after the fact. Regardless of how tiny that transmission rate is- it still exists. & Moreover, for me, it would just be a "out of respect" thing- respect for their health & respect for their choices- even if that choice might mean that I won't be getting head after all lol. Before I disclosed to my current partner, we fooled around a bit. I went down on him & he wanted to return the favor but I kept it together. As hard as it was... I just wouldn't have felt right about it.

Yess! Open communication really can only be beneficial. Get everything out in the open & put both of your minds at ease and figure out where to go from there. You will survive this, and like Dancer said- you got a good thing going! We are here for you. Xo.

That's awesome!! Woo!

Don't do it girl. He does not deserve you. You are worthy of so much more. You're right- you've invested time, effort, and emotion... but how much of that was reciprocated (Out of genuine appreciation, adoration & respect)? You put in so much and got back so little. Who's to say it won't happen again? & What if the next time around, it's life-threatening? We think Hsv is the end of the world, but there are scarier things out there. Can you trust him to help protect you by honoring your commitment?? Cause' he failed once. & The reason why you don't want to leave him, is exactly why he wants you to stay. He's feeling super lucky that you haven't walked. He won't have to be faced with the decision to disclose (or in his case- not disclose). He won't have to feel the fear and anxiety of rejection. He has you & not a care in the world. I've been there too. If I left sooner, I probably wouldn't have hsv. But let me not start with the shoulda, woulda, couldas cause' I probably also wouldn't have my son & he's a complete blessing... Every time I would leave he would play Boyfriend of the Year for a few days, maybe a few weeks. It never lasted. The only thing consistent was the lying and cheating and hurt. When I was diagnosed, he was still all up in my ass and I did entertain the idea of taking him back. I thought my options were: be alone or be with him & mistreated for the rest of my life. I had to really step back and put things into perspective. Would I really rather be miserable than alone? Am I going to subject my child to all of this garbage? & What if the next time, he brings home HIV? I thought maybe hsv would be his wake up call- but nope, after I left him he continued to see multiple women without disclosing. Hasn't changed a lick and I am SO glad that I ran for the hills. I've never been happier & I've never been healthier- even with hsv! I still have my moments- I won't deny that. But they are nothing in comparison to the emotional/mental abuse I went through with that man. I'm finally starting to rebuild, to love myself again. & Guess what- I'm not alone!! I did find someone who accepts and adores me in every way. & You will too! You will not be alone (not if you don't choose to be). You are so worthy and deserving of the best kind of love ( & sex) & there is someone out there that will recognize that! Do not compromise your worth. If anything- let hsv show you how worthy you truly are! Let him shove his jewelry and flowers where the sun don't shine. He can kiss that ass while you walk away. Ps. You are not a dumb ass. You are human. (((Hugs))) Xo!

Woo!!

I've had maybe 3/4 outbreaks since I was diagnosed last August & like you, they were barely visible but painful. I didn't even go to the doc until my second outbreak because the first was this tiny tiny little nick, I honestly thought I cut myself shaving. The second ob was a few months later and the only reason I checked it out was because it was too much of a coincidence- same spot & that time I hadn't shaved recently. At first I took the antivirals religiously, everyday. After about a month or two, I wanted to see what my body could do so I only took them whenever I felt (or thought I felt) the symptoms: tingling etc. I was probably popping a couple once a month, skipping a month here and there. & Like I said, in 9 months, I've had 3/4 obs actually surface. My doc told me that when they do surface, I can try taking 4 pills right away, then another 4 12hrs later. Then continue with 2 pills each day till I'm in in the clear. This approach has worked for me every single time. By the next day the pain drastically subsided and in about 3 days, you couldn't even tell. Also, I'd put a bit of polysporin on the actual sore. I have Hsv2 btw. I think everyone's body reacts to the virus differently and it's kind of trial and error until you find what works for you. That's my experience. Like Dancer said, stress is the #1 major factor (at least for me). Each ob came at a time where I was stressing over a multitude of things and just in poor emotional & physical health. Keeping the stress at bay was something I had to learn (& I'm still learning) to do When that's under control I notice a big difference in what happens down south. Hope there's some help in my ramble! Xo!

Dancer- You are the best. Xo.

I don't think you can put a timeline on your mourning. I think genuine and complete acceptance is more of a journey rather than something that happens over night. You'll have your ups and downs- & the downs are okay. You're human. But what's not okay, is never having ups, or letting the bad days outweigh the good. Like Herry said, that obsessing is not healthy. The more you become more knowledgeable about the condition, the more you'll realize that all that obsessing was a waste of time- time you could have spent learning how to love all of you and bounce back. It's definitely not easy. I wouldn't/ couldNOT minimize what you're going through. That said, you're not alone. We've all been there in some capacity and that's why we're here. I can tell you for sure that the sadness won't last (((((Hugs)))). Xo.

Awesome, Thank you thank YOU!