@NewReality, I’m angry that I didn’t have a choice. He had choices and made bad ones. He chose to not tell me, therefore choosing to lie and think it was somehow okay. I don’t think having HSV changes a person so being told in advance and being educated, I believe we may have still had this relationship. I don’t think it would have been a deal breaker for us. But I should have been told and given the choice of deciding for myself and have the choice to accept the risks. The negligence of not disclosing, and in his case, not being properly educated on something he’s lived with for 13 years, is unacceptable. Maybe if he had made informed decisions, he would have handled it differently. And of course a relationship built on a lie is not a good one. I’m disappointed that he didn’t make wise choices. You’re absolutely right about telling someone upfront and avoiding the mess of feelings and questioning the value of the overall relationship. No one should have to find out the way I did. He unfortunately made his HSV secret the root of the problem.