I was just diagnosed a couple days ago and am in a similar situation. Been togeather over 15 years and then BOOM, no warnings or anything. I came straight home and asked her to come home without the kids so we could talk. I basically blamed her (only person I have ever been with but she had been with a few before me), and accused her of cheating. She said she hasn't, which I do believe but was confused and upset about the whole situation. After doing some research, I realized that there are a number of reasons why after so long that this can come up now. As to who gave it to who first in your case it may be harder to tell if both of you slept with other people before you got togeather. The shingles (Also a herpes virus) may have reactivated the hsv2 that you may have already had because your immune system was depressed. I would tell her soon and have her get tested. I read that a high antibody count means that someone has already had the virus for a while. My advice, tell her soon, don't place blame, come to her with knowledge and educate yourself. Make sure she knows that you haven't been unfaithful if you haven't been. I think that if she was unfaithful, she will open up and behonest about it.
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