katfische

*sigh*.... Hearing this from you as confirmation makes me feel much better. I'm just a ball of nerves. I've had such a hard time with all of this. The last guy I told right out of the gate, but I had known him for 25 years. It was easy to tell him my story. And that was before I even had any of this information! Whew! I was in a terrible abusive relationship with a monster who had convinced me that nobody would ever want me and I was disgusting. He cheated on me over and over and abused drugs and I stayed bc I felt like it was true. Who would want someone with herpes. But I didn't realize then these things that my OB has told me and you have confirmed for me. Even though I still feel it is right to disclose this information, being able to say that it is just on my back and not 'down there' kind of makes it easier to put on the table. Up until now, since the old friend, I had decided to take a vow of celibacy. I don't want to do to someone else what was done to me. I really care about this guy and I'm trying to take things as slow as possible, but we have such chemistry!! That's a good thing, right? I hope that once I give him the specifics he can get past it. If he can't, then it will hurt, but I will understand as I wasn't given the choice. And honestly, he is the kind of guy that I pray we can at the very least be good friends if nothing else. I want him to be happy more than anything! Isn't it a wonderful feeling to care about someone so unconditionally?!? My life is NOT over! I have a wonderful child and I have a wonderful life! If he can't handle it, then he just simply isn't the one.... Now if I can just hang onto that courage when I do have 'the talk' with him! Thanks Adrial!

So, I posted a discussion thread already and didn't get much feedback. I'm 36. I've had HSV2 for almost 8 years now. It is only on my back in one small spot. Initially I had one on my arm, but it has been several years since that one has surfaced. The one on my back only comes up like a pimple nowadays and is gone within 3-4 days total. I've never had anything on my genitals. I did get one small one once on the inside of my butt cheek (no nice way to say that haha) but it has been several years as well. The OBGyn told me that after 2-3years without an outbreak in a spot there is no viral shedding there unless it comes back to the surface. I have started seeing someone and we are getting to a point where sex is going to come up. He is a great guy and I really don't want to lose him. I spoke with my OBGyn about it. She said that since I have never had an outbreak on my genitals, it would be highly unlikely for me to transmit it to him through normal sexual behavior. She also said that antivirals are unnecessary bc I only have an OB about once per year. She basically said that we were pretty safe as far as the H goes as long as we avoid too much contact during an outbreak. I'm scared to death! She said that since I have never had anything on my genitals then it would be less than 1% chance of me giving it to him bc the virus normally resides within the outbreak area. She said there is more risk of me contracting something else on top of this than there is of him getting this from me. Is this reliable information? I trust her, but I would love more info from others. The last guy I dated was okay with it, but it turned out that he didn't want anything serious. We had sex several times without using any protection at all and he didn't get it. Also, is it safe for this guy to give me oral sex since I don't have outbreaks down there? And I assume it is safe for me to give him oral sex. What am I going to do?!? How do I tell him? Scared to death!!! I really really like this guy! I havent eaten in nearly a week Im so nervous about all this!

Thanks for the response! When I had my initial outbreak, I got one on my arm near my elbow as well, but it has never returned. Only the one on my back. And even when I have a breakout it only lasts about 3 days total versus the usual 7-10. I'm glad to know that someone else was told the same thing. Can I ask if you have ever transmitted that you are aware of? Also, my doc said that if I had been asymptomatic, then there would be more concern, but that since it presented on the skin and only in that one place (except for that once) then thats why it would be so minimal. Is that similar to what your doc said?

So, I was diagnosed 8 years ago with HSV2. But the weird part is I only get it once or twice a year at most and have gone over a year with nothing. Even more strange is that I only get a breakout on my back (mid-side). I have never had any kind of breakout 'south of the border'. I was in what I thought was a committed relationship (it wasn't). We split up last year and he (who gave it to me) just goes along like he has no worries dating and sleeping with whomever. My doc said that my outbreaks don't occur enough to warrant daily antivirals. He also said that since I have had zero outbreaks other than that one spot on my back, that the chances of passing it through normal sex are minimal at best. He said that as long as I'm practicing safe sex, then my partner should be fine. I'm talking to a new guy and haven't disclosed this to him as of yet. I don't know how or when it is appropriate. I would love some advice concerning what my doc said. He also called it Type 2 Wrestler's Herpes bc I used to be in contact sports long ago and he thinks I may have gotten it there instead of from my ex. But I didn't have any kind of breakout until after I slept with my ex. Please help. I feel like I want to just give up on life. Some people have suggested going on one of those dating sites for people who are positive, but I don't have anything going on down there and I don't want to risk having anything going on down there! What do I do??