Hopeful88

Ive been seeing this guy for awhile and i thought we were just going to end up friends. Even if anything developed it would only ever be a casual thing. The other night i was drinking and one thing lead to another and we had sex. We used a condom and i take antivirals daily and have never had an outbreak, my dr. Even said, that i was juat exposed to it at some point in my life. And to make it worse we did it again in the morning, protected. Now i feel absolutely awful, ive been having panic attacks and cant eat or sleep. I know the risk was really low but i want to tell him to come clean i juat need a way to do it that wont result in him losing his mind and i can still look at myself in the mirror. He never brought up the std talk either and i was wondering if anyone wpuld be willing to help me come up with a plan to tell him next time i see him. I feel really terrible enough so if you think im a monster please keep it to yourself. I just really need some help and support to do the right thing. Thank you.