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alllgood

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alllgood last won the day on April 24

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  1. I have yet to find that person. But you guy make me feel like it’s possible. I hate these herpes dating sites bc it feels as tho I’m thrown into a dating pool of the rejected and. I want to find someone the natural way like I would have but I’m so scared to just let them I’m all the way bc of this. Maybe I start out as friends/casual and if we really hit it off just say it? But for me. I never know I’m head over heels for a guy until after all of that and the intimacy, maybe I’ve been doing it wrong. Lmao. I just feel like it’s hard to find forever without being intimate and you can’t be intimate without spilling the beans? I want to know, for the p with success in this process, were they always ppl you would’ve gone for anyway or did you feel like you settled or downgraded???
  2. I have had it for a year now, and still find myself being a pessimist scared of life and love because of it. I too contracted it in an awful way. I was drunk taken advantage of, and the guy didn’t use a condom or tell me anything before or after... barley remember the night. I find myself scared to even open up to ppl bc I don’t want to fall for them and then not know how to get past this part of me so I’ve kept to myself a lot besides causal hook ups. I started abusing a lot of drugs after the fact and am still trying to get off Xanax for my panic and anxiety due to this. My first step is def getting my life together physically, and hopefully mentally, but once I do that, I still don’t see my depression over this going away. I’ve always sucked at dating and am a very pretty girl, just always been scared of getting close and now it’s even worse. I feel like I’m going to just die alone with only a career to hold to my name. I’m reading a lot about ppl being more selective and I can’t tell if I’m doing that, or honestly just pushing everyone away in general because I’m scared to death. I’ve been in and out of counseling since and should prob go back but it’s better to hear from ppl in the same shit. I’m now 22, about to graduate, and idk where life is gonna take me. I just hope I learn this self love and get healthy like others say and make the best of the situation I can at some point. I find it so hard to believe that guys are completely 100% accepting but maybe they are, just not the ones I’ve found? Please message me to talk. I’ve been in and out of depression over this a lot and have done so much researching it makes me crazy. Maybe we can find a common ground as to the reality of this shit and move on together
  3. The stats my funk and many others have given me are 4% transmission rate from female to make when no condom or antiviral use, 1-2% with just antiviral and no condoms, 2% just condoms, and around 1% while using both. This is usually female to male, while male to female is a percent or so higher each from what I recall bc it’s easier for women to contract, my advice. Take those stats as they are mostly accurate and can ease your mind to an extent but also explain them to a partner and make sure to do what they feel most comfortable w, and same with you
  4. I have also been told even tho my outbreaks have spread from the primal site from time to time, if there’s no open sore in those areas you aren’t shedding from those areas. It’s usually transmitted thru thin skin/mucous membranes
  5. I think he stopped and telling you including the first place shows a lot of character. Sometimes it gets hard to say it and things move fast went you feel a connection, but the fact that she had the conscious to stop when she knew it would be a possible risk/problem is great. Also, my funk told me taking antivirals for a year straight would not only lessen outbreaks but my shedding in general... however I’m startimg lean toward a holistic route once I get my shit together bc I’ve read many studies of curing (maybe ridiculous) but if not curing, Changing people’s experience more efficiently. I’ve seen proof of lower viral loads and symptoms when people have done raw/organic cleanses for months without taking any meds to interfere, so could be something to look into but you have to be committed and expect it to be around 2-6 months depending on body condition at the moment and your commitment. My gynecologist told me the same stats someone else said up there while including with antiviral but no conforms is a 1-2% chance so still very low and definitely worth considering for the time being. Especially if condoms are an annoyance... I think taking antivirals now until you find better options is the safest and leave less anxiety on you both for your current situation. The guy I contracted from (didn’t tell me) but he definitely had no outbreaks or anything but I wasn’t educated enough to know about the shedding... but I learned my lesson. Even if I used a condim there was a major change I could gotten it bc male to female is higher and he def wasn’t on meds
  6. also.. I was just tested the full panel the other day so I don't think it's anything else.
  7. I also have had extremely abnormal discharge in the past like 4 months or so... I was diagnosed a year ago and didn't have this problem until an outbreak. But now it seems like its all the time... I hope to god its not hpv.... thats all i need
  8. I actually have been experiencing this pain all week... I could barley walk on my leg leg/foot the other day it was so bad. It has to be the H. I wish doctors knew more I feel so lost with this shit.
  9. I have yet to ever disclose and it's been a year.... So more power to you for your bravery first of all because I will never get to that point of openness with this. I genuinely envious, I just don't have the self esteem for it. So reading this, made me sort of validate myy horrible feelings of myself, but also, fuck this guy! You sound like an awesome person and this seriously pisses me off. People like that are the reason people like me feel the need to hide away. I'm so sorry this happened to you, but at least you're not alone in his insult, he insulted every single one of us on this forum, we're all in it together. I hope some day soon I have the courage to disclose to someone I truly like and trust and it ends up working out.
  10. i swear I ihave noticed more bumps around my mouth since getting HSV2 genitally... I feel as though I spread it some how... Maybe paranoia bc I've always had extremely dry lips and I do get pimples near my mouth but Idk.
  11. How did it go?? i never went the full diet route just yet bc its so demanding in college and having a social life... but my dad just set me up with the best equiiptment for it..... going to use jjames and others recipes and follow the guidelines. ive startedd slow... eating healthier and gym.... sometiimes supplements. but soon im going to make the full transition for a month or two and see how it goes.
  12. I knwo that was confusing but if you understand it slightly I hope it helps haha. its hard to explain without naming names. but basically i did what you did I knew/but I didnt know..... and I feel guilty bc truly i did and the signs were there and thats why I tried avoidding it but then I was like well the doctor hasnt confirmed and maybe these arent really the signs...... no way they are.
  13. I can realte to this on some level I guess. I was messing around in college and had a few different guys i fooled around with at the time of the contraction, but it was very obvious who it was due to the time of receiving symptoms after one (guy 1), not having sex with the other guy (guy2) for 2 weeks ish before (would've had symptoms by then) and the third guy (guy 3) being later i the week when I first contracted it but didn't have full blown symptoms. would've been impossible to get the symptoms that quickly after the second guy that week and maybe even the first (guy 1) but my body some how just felt dirty the second we had sex and from then on... Idk how to explain. hope you kept up if not just . bare with me lol i know its confusing. anyway I swear Ii started getting my symptoms within 48 hours of guy 1 which would've been 24 hours after guy 3, and the symptoms presented themselves as UTI and BV (which I had mutliple times weeks before that). I was in denial while at the same time a hypochondriac and just knew, and went to the doctor with my roommate that weekend once I started having trouble peeing, was still sick, and got the courage to look down inside and saw what looked like lesions. anyway, those lesions were tested but my results didn't come back right away and one doctor said it looked very likely and the other said it could still be my BV along with extreme yeast infection (i used to get horrible ones as a kid and thought it was herpes once when i hadnt even kissed a boy). so I took that as it was, knowing it was prob H but was also like in complete denial... and continued to be for months but we'll get to that. Anyway, I ended up having sex with guy 2 who I hadnt in awhile but it was after a very drunken, drug involved night, due to circumstanes. and I tried to avoid hiim coming near me all night from what I could remember but couldnt tell him why and then I ended up waking up the next morning realiziing what I had done and had a whole panic episode. because at this time my symtpms got very obvious and I igot a call later that day about the tests even though I full well knew at this point. anyway i was praying to god that soome miracle I didnt give it to him even tho you are most likely to shed to someone near primary ob, early on in the virus, not yet taking meds (bc they werent sure), and well I still had symptoms that felt like a yeast infection. Took awhile to lead up to this, but I ended up getting eaten alive by guilt but didnt want to say anything jsut in case and just checked up on him every couple days.... the first time being 1-2ish days later where he replied he was feeling really sick and think he caught something. my stomach dropped and my roomate was next to me and shes the type thats like i wouldnt tell anyone I mean its basically nothing like who cares blah blah blah... he prob didnt get it you overreact.. but I have anxiety disorder and popped my xanax becuase i couldnt fathom the thought of giving this to him especially jsut learning about how im going to deal with it myself. anyway.... he slowly stopped talking to me and got a gf a month or so later so I thought ok maybe im in the clear. 2 weeks ago at the bar he came up to me and jokingly said I know something, and I go what and he smiled and goes hoenstly its not a big deal idc, and I said what (playing stupid but more to see if he would say it) and he made a joke and walked away and we kinda talked after but he didnt even care to bring it up. So I'm back to feelin pretty guilty but honestly a little envious he is so cool about it when iim so not and he has a long lasting girlfriend.... Assuming he told her? maybe not bc everyone here talks?? idk anyway. I've done the same dumb shit... I went on to slightly do it again except thiis time i made the insinuation I may have it (i know stupid I just havent made it to the disclosure step even in a year yet.) and I knew he had it through close friends of his, so I thought... well if hes not sayiing shit neither am i. But yeah.... I think I need to take a step back and start loving myself again without the herpes thought in mind.... stop trying so hard to figure out the herpes situation and iinstead figure out my life and my best self, physically and mentally.... then maybe I can battle the H. Ii know its not easy, but hoenstly I'm not happy with myself before I even caught it.... I need major changes. anyway i hope this makes you feel less guilty. I still have a guiilty conscience with it but im glad we oddly cleared the air and both moved on without any issues. makes me feel ill find someone that will accept it before hand and itll all be good.
  14. This thread gave me hope with or without vaccines, and showed me there are ways around it transmission wise. also helped me feel better about my ethical stand point bc I feel this forum is always HUGE on always disclosing but my gyno also said that I shouldnt have to with casual sex and anti virals and other pracautions as they have more of a chance gettinig it from someone else. Idont wanna go around lying anymore and i need to work on that self acceptance but this always encourages me to get there, bc this type of talk proves how minor this issue is and how possible it can be to manage. LETS FIND THE CURE..... or just the self love that overpowers the virus all in all
  15. wow you took these thoughts out of my head... I did the same.. told my ex "i think ive been exposed I need to retest" but we ended up not working anyway. the ethics part fucks me up bc technically me taking my antivirals, and all precautions makes me less of a threat than the next 1/5 girls they sleep with next... Becasue of assymptomic carriers and people who are careless.
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