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Girlneedinghelp

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Girlneedinghelp last won the day on August 27

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  1. Please do not have sex without disclosing, it isn't fair. People still pass it on whilst taking meds.
  2. Can I catch hsv2 orally if I already had it genitally for a year?
  3. I look back at the things I have overcome from HSV and I'm now so proud of the person I am. I was brave enough to disclose, I was brave enough to carry on living my life and taking control of my life. You should be so proud of yourself, it affects everyone differently but it was very traumatic to me, if it was traumatic to you and you had all of those things to deal with too then know that you are a boss and you are smashing it because it is difficult.
  4. Do not stay with that person. I know how scary it is as I did the same thing for a month or so, tried to cling to the guy that gave it to me so I wouldn't have to face the world alone, but do you know what if you take it step at a time you dont actually have to ever do anything you aren't comfortable with. So you break up with this guy, you are single, still nobody knows you have HSV.. you go through a week of watching a box set, eating food you like, gyming, going to work, buying clothes you like doing your hair and makeup and still nobody knows you have HSV. You carry on with your life and focus on yourself and still nobody knows.. you are completely in control of this. After the first year a lot of the time you never get it again.. so take this first year as healing time, find a counsellor to speak to about your diagnosis and then when the dreaded new guy comes to you who wants to take you on a date, you can go on a date and eat food with him and still nobody knows you have HSV.. and the chances are you will be naturally hesitant which if it is a guy worth keeping he will keep pursuing and pursuing you.. you then decide whether it's the right time to tell that guy if you want to be in a sexual relationship with him or you say it's not for you and then try again with the next guy, when the time comes for disclosure you deal with that at that point in time only after speaking to a counsellor if you want and having a better immune system by then and feeling more comfortable in yourself and having attracted the tight kind of guy by then who has pursued you x
  5. In my opinion I don't think you will have given your daughter HSV. I actually think it's quite difficult to spread to someone when you know you have it, and your immune system just keeps getting better and better at suppressing it. Just from experience you are only risking giving it to people when you are in a relationship with them. I know when you worry about something all of a sudden everything seems to point at that one conclusion, but it can be your head playing tricks on you sometimes. If you are truly worried get a kit at home for on stand by for next time you see something but I'm thinking it wont be HSV.. I sometimes get like little a spot or something on my inner thigh which I know is not HSV because I know what those sores are like..
  6. If you think it will give you any type of closure then do reach out to him but I think people get very held up on waiting for acknowledgement or an apology from who gave it to them and I think only when you learn to accept that isn't going to happen do you start to heal slightly. For ages I held so much anger towards this boy and now I just think, he knew he had it and was too afraid to tell me and lied to try and save himself from the situation when I confronted him so I pity him and I also think his life will always be that way. And I think actually in hard times comes great strength, I just told my partner one night, when I felt particularly sad and troubled by it, before we had slept together or anything, and to be fair I cried, but he was fine he was like there is far worse that can happen to people, asked a few questions and carried on eating his dinner and that was that. I was the biggest non believer that he would still want to see me, but here we are 8 months later still seeing each other and I'm officially his girlfriend.. it literally can happen to you even if you dont believe it yourself! If you want any advice about being in a relationship with it message me and I can tell you about my experiences so that you might be more prepared to have the talk one day if you know what to expect!
  7. I still don’t say it out loud either so you aren’t alone. When I spoke to the person that gave it to me it was very distressing and unproductive because he just lied about it (obviously a dishonest person to begin with so I don’t really know why I expected some sort of honest apology). Disclosure is scary, but I did it and he was absolutely fine, and now I look back and I am proud of how stromg I am, and how my friends and family don’t even realise how strong I am that I faced this and figured it all out and came out the other side, and hopefully you will get that feeling too and it does make you a better, more understanding person and I view life differently now. Stay strong x
  8. It's ok, and September was not too long ago, so just go easy on yourself, you just have to look at this as the next person to accept that I have this is going to really love me for who I am and therefore it is going to be a good relationship. You just need to try and build yourself back up again, I hated myself for having this but thinking back on it, I was never comfortable with myself even when I didn't have it, I was incredibly insecure and needed to be with someone. I wasn't a strong person and having this made me stronger and made me start focusing on things in my own life like changing jobs, gyming 3 times a week, seeing my friends, putting some pictures of myself up on social media, things like that, if kind of forced me to be more confident and independent ironically! Try and think of maybe 2 things in your life you want to work on or improve and work on them, if guys start talking to you along the way look at them as a side thought to your goals and the chances are they will find you more attractive that way too!
  9. Hi, Firstly I know how you feel. Luckily for you HSV 1 is less reccurent so you have a milder one. Please try not to panic, we have all been there and I am sure everyone on this forum knows exactly how you feel. You are not alone. In all honesty, it has taken me about 8 months to get back to a state of normality, and I had counselling. I told nobody about it, it affected my work, my socialising, confidence, I completely withdrew from my friends and the gym, everything. I was having very vivid nightmares of men trying to abduct me and things, to the point that they got so real they were confusing and I wasn't sure if there were actually people in my house. This happened like 5 times a week and I was shattered. I looked at how I was infected in a very sinister way, as if he was out to get me, which made it harder to heal. At the end of the day, I now think of the guy that did it to me as very pathetic. This is only a skin condition and due to its nature it is very hard to tell who gave it to you. But it doesn't matter, and I remember people telling me this and I sat there raging because I was like it does matter, this person ruined my life and gets away with it. But it doesn't, and you only understand that when you aren't in shock anymore and take a step back. Because it doesn't change anything. The only issue with this is having to tell people, it's scary yes and it takes a hell of a lot of courage. Just be strong, distract yourself, you do not have to date right now so you do not have to tell anybody right now. Find a boxset, go to the gym, be brave, call a helpline and speak to experts, if you need counselling find a counsellor, take control of your next steps. You will be ok because I was you a few months ago, whereas now I am happier than before I even had it!
  10. Only swabbed on sores, never just generally swabbed for me.
  11. It's just like having a mouth cold sore, there are helplines that you can call every day and they talk you through it if you Google herpes helpline. It is mostly avoid sex on outbreaks or if it feels a little sore or tingly down there for her, but no doubt she is very aware of when this is the case and the fact she has been open with you about this shows she is responsible and can be trusted. There are plenty of couples that on my one person has it and never gives it yo the other person, I haven't ever given it to anybody and I have a boyfriend, alot of things you read on the internet are inaccurate and paint it to be something it really isn't, it isn't a big deal 🙂
  12. To cut a long story short I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for my first life for 4 years. Then I started dating a guy who I thought I loved. He dumped me while I was on holiday after 6 months (and on off dating before that) and I cried the whole holiday. I came home slept with him one more time then it was completely over. I then met a guy who was saying he wanted to be with me, who thought I was beautiful all the usual.. I slept with him after a week, no protection, he was leaving to go abroad for 5 months and we had spent every day with each other (all 7 lol.) it was stupid and I was confused and heartbroken and all that. Then new guy got on his plane. I became very ill, had to go to hospital, my flu symptoms were insane, and you know the rest, I had a first outbreak. I told no one. I wasn’t 100% sure who it came from out of new guy or old guy. Old guy used to insist we used condoms every time. New guy however said he drank smoothies and stuff for his skin.. even though there was seemingly nothing wrong with his skin, and he rang me the day he left for America and asked if I was sore, I said no.. I was still confused at this point, and he said good because I just wanted to check I hadn’t hurt you. Before he had left he also gave me some speech about having to accept him for who he is.. but was saying it was because he smoked weed.. idk. After 6 weeks of phone calls and stuff the new guy said he didn’t want us to continue and long distance was hard. That is when it hit me, I was alone with HSV for nothing. What is worse, I think new guy knew he had it all along and never told me, or used protection. I lost it. I messaged him and went nuts at him. He said he was having heart problems though and I couldn’t stress him out. He called me the next day and I told him on the phone (didn’t say what it was though) I was too confused and just broken. I told him it wasn’t harmful though and after a while (still in a state) I messaged him saying it was HSPV.. which isn’t a thing but I just was in such a daze and didn’t realise I had mistyped it until he replied saying along the lines of ‘well don’t worry 1 in 3 have it, some people are dying get over yourself, see ya’. Then it hit me, how did he know I was talking about HSV and not the HPV virus? He came back from America 3 weeks later, my blood was boiling. Like at this point I think I went psycho, I messaged him pretending to be fine so he would see me in person then, I don’t know, I just felt like I needed him in person for some sort of justice or apology or something? Bad idea, we met up, and I was still in shock, I was very traumatised by all this, and I slept with him, he didn’t bother with protection may I add. Then he told me to leave. Not exactly the justice or apology I had planned. This guy literally broke me and recklessly infected me. I had counselling and was diagnosed with severe adjustment disorder and elements of PTSD. I was having nightmares every night. They were of men trying to abduct me, and they were so real. This went on for about 6 months. And in that time, this other boy that I didn’t know kept messaging me on FB and saying he wanted to meet me, and after a month or so I reluctantly met him. I would say I never would have agreed to meet him if I didn’t have HSV because up to that point I found selfish players exciting and attractive, whereas, He was so different to my usual nasty selfish type, he was sweet, he took me to dinner, he had real conversations with me, he kept asking to see me, but how could I tell him all of this baggage. I dated him for 5 months, just kept telling him I was having counselling and not ready for sexual stuff yet, and he was fine. We shaped a little life together and I was happy but terrified of the secret I was carrying. Eventually one evening I just came out with it and explained I had caught something etc and if it changed things between me and him I could leave. He said ‘why would that change anything?’. I just want to point out, this boy is literally gorgeous, like stop and stare, successful, kind, funny, gorgeous body, literally perfect, and he still wanted me? We now have a sexual relationship and I take antivirals and that is that. He stopped my nightmares and he taught me to be with a person that treats you with respect. And all that came from this HSV nightmare we all live when we are first diagnosed. HSV doesn’t always steal from you your future life and hopes you had planned, in my case it actually realigned my perspective and taught me some self respect. Enough was enough with these awful guys that were making me chase them and eventually affected my physical and mental health. 1. Disclose when you are ready (just don’t put people at risk) for me it took 5 months!! 2. Accept (in cases like mine with a knowing giver) that the person who gave it to you should not be in your life and you are having a lucky escape. 3. If they don’t accept HSV they aren’t the one, you are just one person closer to the actual one for you.
  13. To add to that, I think the ones I got in July are scarring on my bum? I had it 17th July I can still see the marks? Is that normal?
  14. Thank you, I’m just wondering could it be possible I have had an outbreak before and not noticed? My (what I thought was my first outbreak) was July this year and I could barely get out of bed was very sore very flu like and had lesions. I am just thinking though I thought I had a small spot before in March which now I’m wondering if it was a lesion.. it was just one though I didn’t really pay too much attention to it and I wasn’t ill or In pain or anything. It was on one of my bum cheeks though.. I don’t know? Is that possible?
  15. Just wondering, does anybody know if your second outbreak can be way worse than your first? Say you got 1 blister your first then 10 your second for example? It might be impossible to answer!
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