Jump to content

Mandygirl

Members
  • Posts

    3
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

Mandygirl's Achievements

0

Reputation

  1. Ryan, I’m newly diagnosed and am trying to deal with the disclosure discussion as well. It does help to know that we’re not alone; still part of me wishes that I never would have known. I’m a attractive young(ish) 29 woman and have had a lot of opportunities for relationships and sexual encounters, but prefer long term monogamous relationships. I’ve had 2 that lasted more than 4 years and was engaged at one point. I still feel like such an idiot, because I was so careful about STDs for so many years and after my engagement ended, I let my guard down. I recently was in a shortterm monogamous relationship with this guy that I knew as a womanizer in the past. He was being weird with me about sex at first and looking back, I wish that I had trusted my gut, but also hindsight is 20/20. I told him that I wanted to use condoms since he hadn’t been tested recently and we had only been dating for a few weeks, but he told me that he knew he didn’t have anything and I decided to take him at face value. . . so we didn’t use protection since I was in BC. This is the part that is so upsetting. If he cared about me at all and was experiencing symptoms of herpes why the hell didn’t he just use a condom with me?! Because looking back, I am almost certain he was experiencing symptoms; he didn’t want to have sex at random intervals of our relationship to just cuddle instead. I wish I had trusted my gut. There is some blame on me, but I asked him and he said he didn’t have anything. I just thought if he had something, maybe he wouldn’t tell me, at least insisit on condom use since I was showing concern and he was my boyfriend. Anyway. . . We were together for all of three months. I ended things in June because it just wasn’t working and started experiencing symptoms about a week later. I was diagnosed HSV2 positive after getting tested. The thing that sucks is that I already meet a really amazing guy and I don’t know how to tell him. I think that he would judge me, but he also has the right to know. We have been using condoms and I’m on Valtrex, but I worry about our future with this secret I have from him. I have at least two breakout since my initial diagnosis which were not so bad, but just extremely emotionally painful, and I know that I will likely have more at which point even a condom will not provide 100% protection, so I will have make up excuses to refrain from sex. I don’t want to lie to him but i don’t want to lose him either. I guess I’m being selfish. Please let me know how your story goes. I’m wishing us both a ton of luck. This disease so emotionally draining. I don’t know how many hours on the internet, I’ve spent either. At some point, after you have all the facts, you gotta stop searching and just get some support. I think that’s where I’m at. I need emotional support. Ill feel for you so hard about your situation. It could happen to anyone.
  2. I have been recently diagnosed as well, but I have been lucky that the symptoms haven’t been that bad so far. I think the social stigma is worst. I’m not sure how to handle dating yet. The good news is that the first out break is typically the worst, so things are about as bad physically as they can get now, but ultimately will get better. Also with safe sex and suppressive therapy, transmission rates are relatively low. Your new man may have it but not know. There are many with asystematic shedding, so they can still transmit the virus to you without symptoms. It may be a relief for you if you talk to him about it.
  3. I have a similar story. I was in a long term relationship, engaged with my ex that I was with for four years. We both got tested and decided to have unprotected sex since I was on BC; I had some yeast infections at times our relationship but never had any other issues down there since we were both committed to each other. About a year ago, we broke up and I have been dating again. I get STD testing at least yearly so I thought I was in the clear. From the point I thought I was ‘clean’, I had unprotected monogamous sex with two boyfriends that I had for about three months each, we verbally discussed our dating and STD history before we had sex. Everything should have been fine. After experiencing what I thought was a UTI about two months ago, I went to the doctor and the UTI test came back negative. So I went to the lab to get tested for every STD again, thinking maybe I got chalymdia or some other very curable STD. . . And was diagnosed as HSV 2 positive. I was in complete denial and told the person that gave me the test results they must have gotten mixed up at the lab. I genuinely believed that, because I didn’t want to believe the alternative. I still don’t know what I’m going to do with this diagnosis. It’s hard and scary because I don’t know how it will affect my life. Have I had it for years? I don’t know. Who gave it me? I don’t know. Will I ever be able to date normally again? I don’t know. Will I have several breakouts a year? I don’t know. I don’t have any good answers for you other than, you’re not alone. And it feels scary. I not sure how I’m going to manage dating again. There’s a big part of me that wishes I would have married the wrong man because at least I wouldn’t have this disease, but that’s not the way life works. It’s not easy, sometimes you try to be safe and you get a skin disease anyway. I don’t know how I’m going to tell the currently I’m dating. But I know I can’t have sex until I get it figured out. Just try to take it a day at time. That’s what I’m trying. I heard people fear more more of the unknown than a negative experience. Maybe that’s the whole point of needing to tell your partner. Because it’s harder to live a lie than to be rejected. You are not dirty and you are not a bad person and everyone has something. You are and always will be worthy of love.
×
×
  • Create New...