SeraLyn

Great topic and question!!! I've been on both sides of the coin and it's definitely an interesting conversation. My ex years ago had oral HSV-1 and I didn't know until he got a blister and he wanted to "talk." Looking back, I know how hard it was for him to disclose to me. He didn't even it call it herpes, just that he cold these blisters every now and then and has since he a kid. I told him, oh yea, you have herpes. Okay - can we go eat? (I was really hungry lol). At first he didn't think I heard him, but I had and was already aware of the frequency of oral herpes and wasn't too concerned. Like Yolo said, I liked him more than I worried about the diseases. Maybe there was some "untiouchable-ness" about it, but with proper education and action it just wasn't a huge deal in the grand scheme of things. We had a good relationship, great sex and didn't worry too much about it. Fast forward a year or so, and I'm diagnosed with genital HSV-2. After the initial shock and wave of emotions and feeling like I couldn't date again, life kept on pushing and so did I. I had too many really great things going at that time to really slow down into a downward spiral. I've disclosed to every partner since then - and honestly, none have been overly concerned. One had a long-time girlfriend in college with HSV so he was well aware, another really liked me and took the initiative to learn about it and once educated realized it wasn't a big deal (after we broke up, his next girl has it too and he was all kinds of prepared for it - I like to think I helped that :-) ) Another guy said when you accept someone, you accept everything about them. So I guess what I've found is that it's not so much that people "don't care," it's just not as much a focus for them as the other great and attractive things about you. That's something I had to remind myself of in the beginning too - HSV is not WHO I am, its something I have, manage and deal with. I also think it depends on how severe your symptoms are. If you're within the first year and having frequent outbreaks, yea - it's gonna be on your mind a lot more than if you only OB every six months or so.

no worries sara, just sharing how my medical professional explained to me. All learning right. So here's a twist of story...has anyone had a partner/ex tell them you gave them HSV JUST so you'd stay with them?? 🥴🥴

I'm sure it works, however, for most effectiveness, the once a day means once every 24 hours. If you're treating episodically, it's once every 12 hours (or whatever the medically professional recommends pending dosage provided). The reason daily drugs are most effective when taken at the same time is due to the time release factor of the medication. If you're taking sporadic times throughout the day, you may have more in your system or none in your system when you take the next does (essentially, starting over every day versus maintaining a consistent stream)

When I'm on suppression, yes I take daily. I take first thing in the morning so I don't forget. Bottle's on my night stand by my bed 😁

@Lstgryl you do want to take it around the same time every day for most effectiveness.

@Moving4ward first off, welcome to the thread. I hope you can find the support you need to work through your initial diagnosis. love and anger are not mutually exclusive. Couples get angry at their partners all the time and still love them. Personally, I would tell the truth about the doctor's office. If you really feel that this is love of your life, go to counseling and work through the dishonesty and why you each felt the need to put the other person knowingly at risk. From what you said, those sound like to the two main things you're concerned about. You were both irresponsible and dishonest to each other about your status and that's a difficult road to come from regardless, of what truth was hidden, on your own. You could of easily been carrying the virus for years and never had outbreaks. She may not have been the source. It's feels sketchy you're feelings would flip so quickly about someone you say is the love of your life. If she such , none of her past, or yours, would matter. We've all done shit in our past - that's what the past is for. Maybe your own guilt ? Maybe unconscious biases regarding the stigma creeping in? I would also take the opportunity to have real, honest, open, dialogue with each other. This is an opportunity to come together...or be pulled apart...it's all about how you address it. Be honest. Be open. Be vulnerable. Best of luck.

Hello H-Fam!! It's been a hot minute since I posted and was thinking of you all 💖💖 It'll be a year next month since I was first diagnosed HSV2+ and it's been an amazing year! I haven't had an OB since August or September, dating a wonderful man and finished my first year of grade school with a 3.6 cumulative GPA - woot woot. I hope for the newly diagnosis, this can bring you a ray of hope and inspiration that life truly does go on post diagnosis. I honestly thought the tag line, "it's not a deal breaker, it's an opportunity" was cheesy AF at first, however, I can honestly say now...I get it. I'm sure if you haven't already, one day, you will too 🤗🤗 For the veterans - keep on pushing and showing us younglings how to thrive (yes thrive, screw just surviving). Sending you all love and energy!!

I say, MORE POWER TO YA! I considered doing so myself when I was used online dating. I think you've read my stories on disclosing & know I'm an advocate of getting it out there early. However, I know it's different for everyone when they feel comfortable disclosing. I feel like the more I talk about being H+, the less I 1) care about it or care what others think about it.

It doesn't sound surprising to call for a refill if you're only taking them episodically. Seems like it would depend on your dr and their preference to touch base. They'd want to make sure that the amt prescribed is correct since there are varying ways you can treat an OB. When I was first diagnosed, my NP only gave me enough for the first treatment. When I had a second outbreak, she wanted me to come so we could talk - it was really more of a counseling session and discuss the best course of actions.

WHAT UP!! 🤗😁😁 i was thinking about everyone today too. It's been awhile. Sending all the love, positive energy and well wishes to you call 💞💝

@Riseandfall copying from my other post. Hope it helps!! 💞💞 Wanted to share some good news with y'all that happened tonight Hopefully for anyone feeling down or questioning about if (and really it's when) dating is possible, the answer is an emphatic yes! I dated a H- guy for awhile after I was diagnosed & ended it recently. After that, I kinda restarted taking to a guy from last year whoo I ended things with tight after I was diagnosed. I didn't tell him why I really ghosted & used school as an easy excuse. Well, since we reconnected, hanging out again, things have been pretty good and he invited to a overnight trip outta town to get my mind off school for a bit.  I figured this was good time to come clean about why I ghosted, my HSV+ status & put everything on the table tonight. To my surprise he was cool with it, actually has personal experience with his first college girlfriend. This is my third positive disclosure to a dating potential & have to say, it definitely get easier the more you do. 

that's a tough one. Personally, I don't think i would deny it - part of accepting and living with HSV is owning it - I think sometimes that means whether you want someone to know or not. I agree, if the guy you told can't see past it, it's really their loss and your gain. You are more than a status or carrier - you have more wonderfully beautiful traits that they are likely a fool for missing. I've told most my family, all my friends, and each potential partner - personally, my reactions have been positive (or at least what was expected). I've been with two HSV- men and dating a current HSV- guy now, everyone has known and everyone decided not to care (at least, not make it a focal point of our relationship). You have every right to be pissed at your "gift giver", however I hope it won't block you from moving forward and living your best life and being the best version of yourself. I'm sure I sound like a sap or other enthusiastic person, this diagnosis has just really taught me about my value and being like a duck and just letting shit roll off my back (meditation helps with that too 🙂 ) Best wishes to you and hope this guy comes around - and if not - dueces to him and more power to you.

HI! I've disclosed to three or four partners, family and friends. Each story was a little different (if you find my posts, it'll be easier than trying to retype everything 🙂) but I'll share some of the key things I learned. Say you have herpes to yourself as much as possible and add a positive trait about yourself to go with it. I remember when I was first diagnosed, just saying it out loud helped me be more comfortable talking about it. If you haven't told your inner circle & family yet, start there, it's a great way to practice and I found ways that made sense for me. I talk about it randomly too with friends. It makes it just another conversation without so much weight to it. Stats are great, but not everyone cares (or can relate to) numbers. Cater your message to the person in line with your personality. I remember one guy I told I explained that he had a better chance of getting hit by a car than on his way to work than getting HSV from me. It was more relatable than me saying, "there's a 1% risk of transmission if we use condoms and I continue my suppressive therapy." I've usually started with telling them I wanted to be upfront and honest about things, let them know I carry the herpes virus, that I'm about full transparency and wanted to give them a choice. Answer any questions and it kinda goes from there. Hope this helps some. I know there are quite a few people who have had successful (and not so successful) disclosure. Wishing you the best with the former 💞🙂

I've had an H- partner, didn't use condoms but took antivirals and did not transmit. I'm currently with a new HSV- person and not planning on using condoms. We talked about me going back on suppressive therapy, but so far opted not to as I haven't had any OBs since my first month (almost a year ago). talk with your doctor. talk with your partner. do what feels right. the founder of this site had a baby last year or so and didn't transmit to his partner. I imagine your OB would be pretty abreast of any changes in your blood work to know whether you have an impeding outbreak pre-labor. They'd put you on meds before you delivered to prevent transmission during labor.

@PhoenixRising_009 glad you did! We have a lot of good energy in our thread - figured it'd be good to share with the broader too 🙂