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tRinity914

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Everything posted by tRinity914

  1. carlos, your post made me teary-eyed. thank you for writing it. :) i agree with what you said that the reason a particular person comes into our life is to push us further, a bit closer to the center. i would like to believe that every person we meet is a chance for us to get to know ourselves better. sometimes, we fail to understand and see clearly because we are so wrapped up with resentment having h. you are absolutely right, h is not the reason... it is a signal to see the light... wishing peace to come your way soon... you deserve it... :)
  2. thanks guys! appreciate your comments. :) i saw the guy i was going out/sleeping with before h last thursday and it turned out great. he knows i have h because he was the first guy i called and told to get tested. he was so cool during the whole disclosure talk over the phone and said he still wants to see me. i met him on thursday, had dinner and went back to his place. while we were watching tv, i was so anxious because i knew that something would happen in just a matter of time. when he started touching and kissing my belly, i stopped him and asked if he is sure that he wants to do it. he said, yes. i asked him again, and again, and again. same answer. i was worried but let him do what he wanted. he went down on me like there was no tomorrow then put on a condom and had sex. btw, im taking acyclovir. when i was in the shower after, i cried. i dont really know why. but i guess, i was very emotional then because it was the first time i had sex since i tested positive with herpes. or maybe because i was so overwhelmed that he did what he did knowing the risks involved and didnt even bat an eyelash. i was more scared for him than he was for himself. or maybe because the experience made me realize that herpes is not really a factor if someone likes you and wants to be with you. it is you, your confidence, your personality... the whole package that makes you attractive and desirable, with or without herpes. we ended the night with him asking if he can see me again next week. i dont really know how he feels about me but if its just about sex, im pretty sure he can get that from other women with less and/or no STD risks involved. we may or may not have a happy ending but that whole night was a clear validation that having herpes will not destroy your life. it will only do so if you allow it to take control of who you are. i think having herpes is a test of love... how much do you love yourself given your new circumstances?? how much do you love yourself to pick up the pieces and be a whole amazing person again if you wavered and had a moment of self-doubt??; is a test of trust... how much do you trust the person you are disclosing to?? how much trust are you willing to put on the table to give a relationship a chance??; is a test of relationship to family, friends and loved ones. more than anything, i feel more confident now than ever before. my self-doubt and insecurities are overshadowed by that experience. of course, you dont need a man or sex to validate who you are but they definitely help in eradicating the stigma attached to stds, sex and relationships. im sure its not going to be easy-breezy every time, but im very glad that my first was an awesome experience that gave me a kick-ass confidence level and whole lotta strength and encouragement. Loving oneself radiates confidence that is extremely beautiful. Light and Love.
  3. i have genital herpes (hsv-1). im wondering if i can pass the virus to the guy if he goes down on me?? my first outbreak was 2 weeks ago and im on acyclovir now. an outbreak does not necessarily mean having the visible sores, right?? or does it?? because im on meds everyday, i dont know yet if and when im having an outbreak. sometimes i feel itchy or kinda tingly down there for a few seconds but im not sure if its because of h or shaving. if im on acyclovir and we use a condom, thats okei, right?? should i abandon having sex even if there's a slight itchiness??
  4. i was diagnosed with genital herpes and tested positive for hsv-1 2 weeks ago. didnt know that hsv-1 can also be genital so i thought i have hsv-2, but i guess hsv-1 can be manifested in either way. my ob prescribed acyclovir for 2 weeks and my initial dose ended on friday. but i dont feel confident getting off the medication just yet so i bought a refill for another 2 weeks on saturday. my ob is awesome and very supportive. she is like your favorite aunt that you can tell her everything which is very important given the circumstances. but she also told me not to have sex. i asked her for how long and she just gave me a look that kinda meant til cobwebs start forming down there. :( as much as i love my ob, i think her "grounding my vagina for having fun" is almost like stigmatizing me for having herpes. like, you have herpes so no more sex! i did my first "disclosure" yesterday when i finally called one sex buddy to inform him about h. he was so cool about it because he said it is not life-threatening so he is not worried about it. he was actually more upset on the fact that i ignored him and all his messages for 2 weeks. he said he likes me and still wants to see me and have sex with me. we arranged to meet up on thursday. im so glad that conversation went really well. :) a lot of that is due to reading the discussions in this site and the literature on disclosure. very very helpful. my Question is... when can you have sex again after your first outbreak?? i do not have any traces of any sores on my genital area as of the moment. all my sores cleared up within 3 days of taking acyclovir. my ob advised me not to have sex til i dont know when. my closest friends who are my support group since the beginning also agreed because they fear that i might get something else and worst. i know i read somewhere that viral shedding usually takes 6 months from the first outbreak, so does that mean that you can only start having sex after 6 months since the chances of passing the virus to your partner is lessened?? i understand my friends' reasoning as my ob also said that because i now have herpes, i am more susceptible/prone to getting other stds and hiv. on the contrary, i actually feel that because i now have herpes, i am more careful of my body now than ever. i will never have unprotected sex again. oh, and the guy i was talking about is my friends' suspect for giving me the virus since he is the only guy i had sex with no condom weeks before my first outbreak. who gave it to me or not is a waste of time because identifying the guy is not going to change anything. i will still have h irregardless. i know having h should change your life for the better and should focus on having a deeper relationships, but what if casual sex presents itself and the party involved is well aware of the situation and still agrees to engage in sexual relations, should i decline because i have herpes?? considering that i am not really ready to be in a relationship at this time as i am crazy busy with school and work. i dont want to sound promiscuous but i just feel that not allowing yourself to enjoy and have fun outside the context of a serious relationship is actually letting herpes take control of your life.
  5. eLo everybody! :) im new to the site and just tested positive 2 weeks ago. i feel fine and am doing great. :) i have been scanning this forum since i found out and the discussions here have been very educational and helpful. i used the guide in disclosing as my outline in telling previous sex partners that i have herpes and it turned out really well for the first guy i called yesterday. im so glad! :) hence, im looking for a buddy who can further help me by sharing more information and his/her experiences living with h. im a female living in new york city. i would prefer a female buddy if that is okei as i might have a million Questions about feminine hygiene and sex stuff. thanks a lot! :) p.s. the people behind this support group is awesome! please please continue the excellent work! you guys are touching a lot of lives...
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