Hi there,
Long story short, I’ve had HSV1 for what I believe to be about ten years now. However, I only found out my official diagnosis (igg blood test) recently, after having strange nerve pains in my groin area. It’s a very complicated story, but I had what I believe to be a (traumatic) genital outbreak when I was merely 16 - and being young, naive, and ashamed, never got it diagnosed. I know, not good. Since no other outbreak has occurred, it was kind of forgotten / suppressed after some time. Nothing was there to remind me of it or the what-ifs.
Flash forward into a long term relationship with a great man, and I get confirmation I’m HSV1 positive. It’s safe to say I probably have it both genitally and orally, though I’m not 100% (my mom says I’ve had cold sores in the past).
I’ve had this nerve pain all throughout my bum and lady parts for about a month now, which is why I got tested to begin with. Shocks. Sharp pains. Dull aches. Pinching and pricking. A week after it first started, I had a visual exam with my OBGYN, who did not find any lesions. I’ve been checking myself everyday since - nothing. But this shocking, pricking, pinching, and dull aching pain is still there (off and on). I’m on my 12th day of Valtrex and it hasn’t subsided.
The reason I’m on Valtrex is because my SO is negative for h1 and h2. He got tested around the same time as me, same test. I was finally feeling normal for a couple days and after a month of abstinence, we decided to have sex. We used a condom. I did not have any visible sores, though I understand now there’s a chance they could be internal.
Almost two days later, he has what I believe to be “flu like symptoms”- sore throat, coughing, no appetite, feverish, just an overall off feeling. He says it’s post nasal drip. He also has anxiety (bless us both) and thinks he’s starting to develop tingling down there. It’s been exactly 3 days now since intercourse.
I guess I have a couple questions:
1. Would he develop flu like symptoms like this, including the post nasal drip, that soon after sex? I’d say they developed in 36-48 hours. What do flu like symptoms even mean in the cases of genital herpes? Do they come before the blisters do?
2. I understand that Genital to Genital transmission of HSV1 (especially female to male) is extremely rare. We used a condom, but should I still have reason to worry? I’ve had ghsv1 for ten years now with no outward OBs - isn’t there even less of a risk? Are there any males here who got gHsv1 from intercourse (not oral)?
3. I had been on Valtrex for ten days by the time we had intercourse. Again, no lesions. Wouldn’t this have protected us? Wouldn’t it protect me from getting an OB? Or would it simply prevent an OB from fully surfacing (under my skin feelings make me feel like I’m contagious)?
My doctor chocks up my symptoms of nerve sensations to anxiety, again and again, but I’m not convinced. Is it possible that with a condom, ten days of Valtrex, and no visible sores, that I passed this along?
Finally, would a condom help if I did have an internal outbreak after all?
I understand that hsv1 sucks, but that it’s not harmful or affecting my quality of life in any way. However, I worry for my boyfriend who is scared more than ever. He’s accepted the risk, yes, but I’m not sure how he’ll handle the actual reality of it. I don’t know how I’d handle it either.
Thanks for listening- and for your input. Turned out to be pretty long after all!
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