pepper90

Thank you so much! This was super helpful!

I recently was tested for herpes and I was positive for one but not for 2. The reason I was tested was because I had an outbreak over a year ago now. No OB since then thank god. But I was drunk (no excuse) and I made a terrible choice and slept with someone without disclosing. It happened so fast and I am in the most anxious state I have ever been. I feel like such an awful person. Ever since I got it I have been educating myself and my friends and family about the stigma and how unfounded it is, yet how much it can destroy your confidence and self-love. I feel like I have completely fallen back to day one. I thought I had type 2 until a few days ago and was disclosing and medicating myself with those stats because I know it can be more severe. Can anyone on here show me some genital hsv-1 stats? I want to make sure this never happens again and that I am educating my partners correctly.

Well if you think it is possible that you had it before you were with her the first time, then it is a possibility that she may have it and have had no symptoms. I think that it is only fair to say something, the disclosure talk is something I have currently been struggling with and I know how scary it can be. There are a bunch of disclosure handouts, e-books, and herpes facts on this website that could make her feel more comfortable. Everyone has been tellling me to come at the disclosure talk with confidence if you are not treating it as scary than she is less likely too. Also as a young woman myself I never viewed herpes as scary before I got it, and the scary part is the stigma (past the first incredibly painful OB obviously). I know it is scary but if you really love her you would be doing yourself a disservice to not do something about it. We all can't live in fear.

I need some support! I am 23 years old and I was diagnosed only 6 months ago, I would love to chat with someone who has some experience with disclosing as that is the point I am currently reaching. I have genital HSV not sure which type until next week because I was visually diagnosed during my initial OB.

Thank you both so much, this has been really helpful. I still have not had the opportunity to bring it up due to my own fear, and it being finals week here. I have so much anxiety I almost cannot wait to disclose just so I can have an answer if he is ok with it or not. I'll let you guys know as soon as I build up the courage!

Thank You darlin! Yes three weeks is very short, however the anxiety I feel about having to disclose/not having disclosed yet is really (excuse me) fucking up all the enjoyment of falling in love. I have read all the handouts, but I will venture into the other successful disclosure stories and try and use some of their wisdom for my own disclosure adventure. I wasn't able to say anything tonight to him, cuz he worked so late. I was hoping I could get some advice on what having a relationship is like WITH herpes, is there guilt associated constantly... like "i didn't pass it on this time we had sex... but what about next time?"

Thank you Adrial! Learning more about how I can pass herpes has definitely appeased the feeling of feeling like a walking virus. hopefully disclosing with my boyfriend in the next 24 hours. cannot tell you how valuable this site has been. truly.

I am absolutely terrified. I think that he really does care and we have been seeing each other for about 3 weeks, I can tell that he is falling for me, but I have a huge guilt associated with the fact that I have not disclosed to him yet. I dont know what to do. any advice is much appreciated. I would love some advice from people who have been asymptomatic since their initial outbreak and what having a relationship while knowing there is constantly a risk (small since I am on acyclovir and will definitely use condoms) for transmitting. does the fear subside?

I had an extremely painful and long first OB as well. Everyone is different however what you have described sounds very familiar. I don't think there's any medical evidence to support or deny the effects of marijuana on herpes. My most painful period of the OB was when the blisters opened it was excruciating... I was in bed for 2 days. on the bright side thats a sign that the blisters will soon begin to heal! Keep that area dry and clean, wear baggy clothes so as not to irritate the area even more. My doctor prescribed me a numbing gel, which I never ended up using because I couldn't make it to the pharmacy, but I have heard that it can be helpful. It will clear up! Sleep and take care of yourself! I'm so sorry that you are in so much pain! Know that everyone on this site is here for you!

I know the feeling I have only known for 3 weeks but the thought of putting myself out there is terrifying. The thoughts of rejection are the worst, however the one thing I have learned from this forum is that this is a reflection of our judgements of ourselves. We can't expect to be loved by others until we love ourselves. H can be a gift if we let it. Now if only I could take my own advice... :) keep your chin up.

I found out a few weeks ago that I have herpes and I have been on such an emotional roller coaster. I pride myself on my positivity but I recently disclosed to my two best friends and my little sister who were both incredibly supportive yet I am having a really rough time with the small changes i have noticed. For example making sure I have a straw in my drink so that they know which one is mine and keeping all utensils very separate. I had a genital outbreak but I do not know which strain I have as my doctor didn't see it as necessary because my outbreak was so obvious. I am worried I may be putting them in danger of getting it if they accidentally drink out of my cup. I don't want to victimize myself but I am feeling like such an outcast these past couple of days.

I was just diagnosed earlier this week and I have had an incredibly difficult time. I experienced an indescribably painful first outbreak and today is the first day I have been able to leave my bed. As the pain subsides however I have begun to appreciate what a blessing this awful disease could be... slowly it has made me examine my choices and intended purpose behind my sexual actions. Please don't misunderstand I have always been incredibly safe with my sexual health however the opportunity herpes gives us is to be ready not only to understand what we are looking for in a relationship with another individual but what they want and expect from us. The person who gave me this was my best friend and someone who I trusted inexplicably. He has chosen to not inform his sexual partners about his condition or to receive treatment of any kind which saddens me greatly. However so far this is a blessing in disguise. From this point forward I refuse to live in fear or guilt. I refuse to hide. I refuse to be ashamed. I love myself. I love you. I love herpes because it is now a part of my being. Let us together stand up and take care of ourselves. nourish our bodies and mind. sleep when we need to sleep and worship the temple that is the human body. I pledge to live in the moment and not dwell in yesterday or worry about tomorrow. BE HERE NOW.

Thank you for the links. This website is truly a blessing.

I have just had my first outbreak, I am 22 years old and absolutely terrified. I know the psychological hurdles will be the next things to conquer but right now I would settle for a little relief. My pharmacy was out of Lidocaine (spell?) gel and I am skeptical of how well it works? Also when the sores begin to scab over does some of the pain go away?