jr049

I had a similar experience as you and decided to write off relationships and sex - however I came across a great guy and wanted to at least try- I disclosed to him the first time we met (we had spoken for a long time and I thought I would wait longer but it felt right) he took it a lot better than expected, he asked a lot of questions and I explained the risks and he said he didn’t want to have sex with me any less than before but we would take precautions, if they’re worth it then it’ll go well, if you think it could go somewhere I suggest at least try! I felt like I wasn’t “worth the risk” of getting herpes, but I realised that’s completely wrong and you’re still a human being. Some people may react badly, I told a male friend of mine and he was very judgemental and said I’d ruined myself, which didn’t help my feelings at all but at least now I know what he’s really like.

So I have fairly recently been diagnosed with genital HSV-1, I got symptoms after a casual sexual partner performed oral sex on me so I am assuming that’s where it came from but that’s not necessarily true or important. It took me a while to be diagnosed as I went to the doctor assuming (and hoping) it was folliculitis, she told me it did not look like herpes, however after a couple of days it became VERY painful and I could barely sleep or walk without tears, due to work I couldn’t get to a clinic to find out, however I think I knew inside the whole time it was, so after a lot of tears I came to terms with it, and googled EVERYTHING I could on the topic. I finally got an appointment and received treatment and results and here I am- since then I have had one casual partner who I did not disclose to as I have read genital - genital hsv1 is not commonly transmitted (is this a myth?) and I ensured we used a condom, I also (possibly unnecessarily) started taking suppressive antivirals to try and prevent transmission as much as possible. I have had a few casual sexual partners, some by my choice and some I assumed it was more, so I am using this as a wake up call to try and weed out the less nice men shall we say, I decided I didn’t need a relationship or sex and should focus on myself, however this great guy came along and we got on well- I disclosed to him and it went a lot better than I thought as I am fairly young (20) so him being 21 I could possibly “ruin” his sex life for the whole future (stigma) but we continued seeing each other. I understand that’s a lot of information I kinda wanted to get it all out and ask - how likely is it that I will transmit to a partner, does anyone have experience? Being young and enjoying sex I would like to have as much information as possible, bearing in mind I am using condoms and antivirals, and has anyone been in a similar situation and have any advice for me? (Young and diagnosed)