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SD1990

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Everything posted by SD1990

  1. I personally don't think you need to disclose unless you're having oral sex. more than likely you have it in your mouth, and its an incredibly common virus. Most people who know they have it orally don't disclose before oral (which is a weird double standard, because your more likely to pass it on oral to genital that genital to genital). Your situation is the reason why health care professionals don't recommend getting the blood test. Let it ride unless you show signs of it genitally, then start to disclose (again, with the double standard bullshit).
  2. Hello, I've heard that genital to genital HSV1 transmission is rare (some even say "unheard of"). I've looked through several databases that I have access too, and haven't heard anything more concrete than this general term, even in scientific journals. Does anyone know a more specific number? I realize this isn't crucial, but I like to have the numbers on my side when I'm considering disclosure, and communicating the risks associated. Thanks! -L
  3. No, HSV1 is one type of Herpes Virus, and HSV2 is another type of Herpes Virus. Think of it like animals. You can have a two birds that are both parakeets, but one lives on the ground, and one lives in trees. Both Parakeets, but not the same. Similarly, HSV-1 normally likes to live in the mouth, and HSV-2 normally likes to live in the genitals. You could get HSV-2, but it would be from an exposure, not from an HSV-1 infection that you already had that morphed into HSV-2. As far as your lab results go. I really am not sure what the they mean. Do you know what kind of test they ran?
  4. It seems like you might be posting on here to try and get some penitence from the judgement of other people, instead of the judgement he is likely to give you. I understand this, and I don't mean to get down on you (because that's really a waste of time). What you did was definitely wrong, but the best way to make it right, is to be honest with him, not post on a feed and let other people be mean to you. I'm sure he'll be upset, I'm sure you would be too if you were in his shoes. But in the words of the not so great 90's band Eve 6, its time for you to smile wide, step outside and face the music. It'll suck, but I'm confident that your conscience will be able to rest easier in the long run, if you act with integrity now.
  5. I have been in a similar situation. I found out I had gHSV about a year ago, when I accidentally infected by girlfriend (now ex). Its a terrible feeling, especially because of what she was going through with her first outbreak, so I kind of know what you're going through there, and I'm sorry for you. As far as fearing you'll be a constant reminder, I definitely felt a similar way when she first brought up her outbreak to me. I asked her if she wanted me to go to the clinic with her, because I really wasn't sure if she'd want me around at all. Thankfully she was extremely gracious through the whole process. I think the best thing you can do, is to offer your support, and be there when she wants it. I would stay over at my girlfriends house, and hold her when she was shaking after having to endure using the restroom, and of course I apologized a million times or so. She and I ended up breaking up for different reasons, but I would definitely say that the experience actually brought us a lot closer together than we would have been if we hadn't gone through it. I always wished that she would have ended up with someone else, and that I would have never given it to her, but I also can't imagine what it would be like going through something like that alone. Its a double edged sword, the guilt of unknowingly passing HSV on to someone is terrible, but at the same time, it can be so helpful to have someone else to go through this with. Hopefully she can forgive you, and you both can appreciate the blessing of having someone else to go through this with. Your situation sounds really similar to mine, so message me if you ever wanna talk.
  6. Hello everyone, I have a question for those of you who did the transmitting. I was diagnosed with genital HSV1 about a year ago, after my girlfriend at the time became symptomatic. She was incredible gracious, and the diagnosis really drew us together. It was hard to be diagnosed, but it helped in a lot of ways because we had each other for support and we didn't have to worry about telling other people. We use to joke about it a lot, and we really relied on each other. I really care about her, but I just didn't feel like the relationship was working out. We broke up about 2 months ago, and to be honest I've kind of been having a hard time moving on. I think this is due in large part to the fact that I gave her HSV1. I know its not a big deal with respect to our health, but I feel really guilty and sad whenever I think about her having to tell a guy, or imagine her being rejected for having it. She really is a beautiful, amazing person, and guys love her, but I can't imagine this not taking a huge toll on her romantic life. It like this rope that will always connect us. She will always have to deal with this stigma, and we will both have to live with knowing that I was the one who gave her this stigma. That fact alone makes it seem like we will never have a clean break. My question, is how have others gotten beyond the guilt of infecting someone? Thanks for the responses.
  7. Hello Everyone, I had a quick question for you all. I was diagnosed with genital HSV-1 about a year ago while in a relationship. We broke up recently, and I am currently looking at dating again. I'm curious how has your diagnosis affected your outlook on dating? Have you had to lower your standards at all, or is it just a numbers game, where you expect a little more rejection? I'd be curious to hear from men and women on this. Thanks.
  8. In addition to the medications, I think it would be really good for you to talk to a therapist. These forums are great, but it really helps to talk to someone in person, and allow yourself to be known. Anonymity is great with Herpes, but its also really important to have acceptance for the feelings you're having. Feeling Suicidal is a big deal, and you need someone who you can depend on! Plus, they could probably help you develop strategies to cope with your diagnosis. Really everyone should probably be seeing a therapist. It doesn't make you weak.
  9. Not sure where to put this, and I'm new to this forum. I found out that I had genital HSV1 about a year ago, after my SO had her first outbreaks, a few days after we first had sex. I have had Oral HSV1, and had STD testing prior to the beginning of our relationship, however not for HSV1 as I would have obviously been positive for it with my previous history of the oral form. I was so guilty, and felt awful. I wished that she would have been with anyone else, as there was plenty of other interest. She was incredibly gracious about the whole thing, and we dated for a little less than a year. Then, this week we decided to break up. Its been rough. First of all, I didn't realize the support that we provided for each other throughout our relationship with regards to our diagnosis. It feels like I've been diagnosed all over again. I'm scared to date, and i know she is too. I feel like I can never have a light hearted fun beginning to a relationship ever again. I have a friend that I feel comfortable reaching out too, but she said that she does not. Secondly, I'm plagued with guilt for having put this on her, and now to push her out the door. I can't help but imagine the impact its going to have on her romantic life, and I feel awful every time I think of her getting rejected for telling some guy that she has Herpes. Can anyone provide any thoughts or advice on the situation? Would it be wise to continue to try and support each other in this even after we broke up? How much of an effect will it likely have on her life? I'm in need of perspective perhaps.
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