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Completelylost

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  1. I found out 24 hours ago that I have herpes. I couldn’t even listen to the doctor over the phone to find out which strand. I’m going to see my doctor in a week to talk about it. I’m in my 30s and live in a really small town. It was already impossible to find someone here and now no one is going to want me. I have given up any dream of having kids and a family. I’ve been trying to find a good man for years. I don’t sleep around... I go years without sex. I decide to sleep with a friend of mine who said he was tested over a year ago and was clean and hadn’t been with anyone. We had sex twice and the condom broke. Apparently he has herpes and didn’t know (I believe him). But now all I want to do is die. It’s taken everything in me not to kill myself. I know it’s dramatic but I’ve already had a hard life and this is just another thing to weigh me down. I will never find someone. And I can’t tell anyone without the whole town knowing. I am so lost and I feel like I’ll never be ok again. I am beyond devastated.
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