Ishmael

Your friend sounds pretty wack. You might be better off. Think of H as a filter for that kind of thing.

He took the condom off after telling you he would wear one? In Germany, that is considered rape, which I agree with. This guys is a piece of shit. That said, you MUST disclose to partners before sex.

There's nothing here that indicates that it had to be him. You can get your first outbreak years after getting it and that outbreak can be triggered by sex, including with a negative partner.

There's a not tiny chance of getting a false negative with an IGG blood test. I think it's somewhere in the ballpark of about 8%, but it's been a while since I looked at the actual stats. I'd get tested again. If that's also negative, then consult with a doctor about a Western Blot.

I understand that our reactions to these types of things aren't always rational, but stand back and take a look at what you're saying. You told your BF beforehand, he said he knew he might get it and was okay with it, and even encouraged risky sex. Now it looks like he might have it and he's still okay with it. And if he does end up having it... he's not going to want to be with you anymore? That makes zero sense. None. It sounds like the issue is not your BF, at all, but your difficulty dealing with the insecurities herpes can make us feel about our bodies and relationships. Don't let that muck up your relationship, because this guy seems pretty chill. Instead, try to follow his lead and if you can't, try talking to a counselor. Do you like this guy? Then trust what he says and don't project your anxieties onto his motivations. That's a disservice to you both. Also,, not for nothing, a lot of people here would kill for a partner like that!

It's better than 92% certainty because they took the test three times, so it's 92% on each test. The chances of getting three false negatives in a row is very small.

Even if you have HSV 1 your HSV 2 antibodies would be showing between 12 and 16 weeks. If they aren't, then you likely have a compromised immune system due to something like HIV. You need to calm down and approach this situation a bit more rationally. You might also consider seeking therapy for health anxiety.

Taking many months to show is an abnormality. You got a Western Blot, which is as definitive a blood test you can get. If it was negative you should forward thinking you are negative. It sounds like you might have some health anxiety issues. That's cool, so do I.

It sounds herpes is going to have an serious upside in your life. Your closest friends were the kind of people who would ostracize you and talk behind your back if you got something like this. Now that you know this, you can start cultivating genuine friendships with good people that will enrich your life. Years from now, looking back, I wouldn't be surprised becomes a net positive for you. Also, sorry, but your friends are human debris.

How do you decide when it is God's actions or yours (or that of someone else) that are responsible? You say that God wasn't responsible for your herpes, but that you were. He didn't make you get involved with your giver. But then, when you managed to meet someone else and he was accepting of you, it's not you or your partner that did this, but God bringing him to you. How does that work in the one case and not the other?

I'm curious for believers who had their faith shaken by herpes: was your faith not shaken by the fact that the same God allows for things to happen like children starving to death or dying of cancer?

I haven't read this whole thread, but you need to calm down. You have a responsibility to your partner to disclose before engaging in sexual activity that could infect them. That's it. He wasn't at risk, so whatever. Disclose before sex, but don't beat yourself up over making out or giving someone a blowjob. Dude should be extremely grateful, TBH.

You need to stop doing this, both for you and for the other people that you are going to freak out by doing this. Have you had the Western Blot yet?

Naw.

As for your larger question, people can be together for years without transmitting the virus and that's without using condoms or anything else.

No, this nurse is completely wrong.

Getting drunk and then crying about it is 100% not the right tactic here my friend. I'm not saying that to lecture you, but I want to be real with you about how that comes across. It makes it look like herpes is something that is messing you up and that you're not ready to deal with it or be in a relationship with someone. Whether or not that's true, that's how it's going to look to the person you are disclosing to. I feel like you already know this, and that you'll take a different approach in the future. There is a very good chance, however, that this guy is just closed off to the idea of dating someone with herpes. Sometimes that's all there is to it. That's not on you and there is nothing you can do about that. For your next disclosure, try to be clam and confident. All you can do is be honest with someone and hope that they respect that.

Yay! And I hope you told him that yes, you can still totally have kids (if that's what you want)!

Very glad to hear this is your mindset going into this. This is a very healthy way to think about it. Please keep us updated whenever you feel ready and good luck!

Sorry to break it to you, but you don't have herpes. 😥

Read it like disclose by text? I would do it verbally and then give them the info to read and make yourself available if they have questions. There is a good hand out on this website. Also, keep in mind that they might need some processing time and some alone time before figuring this out. That said, you know you and you know this person better than anyone here, so advice is just that: advice. Are you dealing with HSV 1 or 2?

Like so: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4824300/

You can do it! Remember to remain confident and assertive! Also, if they need time, give it to them and give them the information you have so they can inform themselves. Tell us how it goes!

HPV for 5? HPV doesn't stay in your system forever like HSV. It usually clears in 2 years. How are you getting tested?

The same way I do and the same way everyone else who does this does this. Also, did you actually get your hearing tested? Because when I did, no actual hearing loss.