Strength123

Hello @MissGuided I actually had a similar situation, when faced with the possibility of herpes, I was so stressed out and started getting tiny white pumps down there. My doctor said it was from shaving and stress. Crossing my fingers that you don't H but if you do, we are all here for you. Warmly, Strength123

@Next step, I believe disclosing ought to be done before having sex. Thinking about it in reverse is right, how would you feel if someone else knowingly had HSV 2 and didn't disclose to you before sex, even if you didn't get it? I wouldn't not want someone risking my health without my knowledge no matter how slim the risk was. By the way, this doesn't mean casual sex is gone, it's just a little harder. I have heard success stories of people using causal dating apps, disclosing right away and having luck. There is also the positive singles dating website/app that allows you to meet other people with HSV. On another note, I don't understand why in the reverse roles mentioned above, they ask you to compare the situation using HIV. HSV is not the same or even comparable to HIV and to even see that people suggest using HIV as a comparison is scary. I don't know about you but I have been scared enough the past couple months, I surely don't need my HSV compared to HIV. The integrity one ought to have in disclosing does not change if it's simply HSV instead of HIV. The same message gets accross when you see the scenario using HSV which is what we are all dealing with. Warmly, Strength123

I am so sorry @Jenn88, thankfully this does mean you can begin suppressive treatment and ought to have less severe and less frequent OBs. I imagine that the confirmed bloodwork will bring a little new wave of grieving but just remember we are here for you and things will only get better from here. Warmly, Strength123

Igm is pretty irrelevant. The only thing we can take away from it being negative is that it likely isn't a recent HSV contraction. As for the igg results, my understanding is anything above a 5.5ish for HSV2 is a fairly certain positive diagnosis. So I woukd conclude you have HSV 2. I am less familiar with the levels for HSV 1. I'm still learning all of this myself. Unfortunately for my Igg test, they wouldn't provide me the actual levels so I am taking the Western Blot test to be sure. I hope that was helpful. Warmly, Strength123

@BostonBuddy07 If it were me, I would address it via text right away. I feel like text gives me time to clearly state what I'm feeling and I'm also the type to address issues sooner rather than later. With that in mind, I did bring up it up in a similar manor with the guy I was seeing and it gave him the opportunity he was looking for to end the relationship. I am still glad I reached out so he didn't lead me on any more. I also realized that his fading interest was only making me feel worse about myself so I'm glad we had that talk. Wishing you all the best!

Please clearify the Igg test results: 1) HSV 1 - 6.31 and HSV 2 - 4 Or 2) Are these two seperate test, taken different days, both for HSV 1 showing two different levels?

@BostonBuddy07 The slow fade method is all too familiar to me. I would say from his actions that he is indeed uncomfortable with the HSV 2. If you feel some of the hesitance is caused by the delivery of the disclosure then I would make one final effort to have it again, even over a call or text if that's easiest. I would say something along the lines of " I have really enjoyeed getting to know you. I have felt some distance since I disclosed about my HSV 2. I'm not happy with the way I disclosed and just wanted to reach out and see if I can answer any questions you have about it. Many people have it and it's a very manageable virus etc.etc." of course, put it in your own words. But after that opportinity for conversation I think you will feel more comfortable no matter how it turns out. I'm wishing you all the best. Please let us know how it goes Warmly, Strength123

@organicmama I was diagnosed during a std screening igg blood test and have not showed any symptoms. After reading that the igg test can be have false positives, I decided to get the Western Blot test to be sure. From everything that I have read, there is sadly no cure for HSV, only periods of dormancy. It's something I have come to terms with. I'm wishing you all the best with your therapy, but caution you not to invest too much of your hopes and happiness in the idea of a cure. If you do go through treatment and get a negative Western Blot test, please share it with us and if you find you still have it after treatment, we are all here for you. Warmly, Strength123

Here is a little excerpt from the book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Mason that is bringing me comfort at the moment "People want a partner, a spouse. But you don't end up attracting someone amazing without appreciating the emotional turbulence that comes with weathering rejections, building sexual tension that never gets released, and staring blankly at a phone that never rings. It's apart of the game of love. You can't win if you don't play." Rejection simply sucks and there is no way around it. Dealing with rejection is a normal part of everyone's life, dealing with it after a HSV disclosure just feels like a little added insult to injury. But like everyone else, you deal with the heartache and move on to further pursue what you want. I'm still surprisingly heartbroken after my rejection a month ago from the guy I was seeing when I was diagnosed. I'm waiting on my Western Blot results and catch myself day dreaming about getting a negative result and having him say and do the right things to win me back. I then quickly snap back to reality and realize that's very unlikely, nor should I want someome who bolted when then the going got tough. Today I am reminding myself, and hopefully others, that a broken heart means you are putting yourself put there. With each rejection and broken heart you bring yourself a little closer to finding someone who will accept you.

Wow @Mar535, you are kinder than I am. I believe it's 100 % up to each individual to be vigilant about safe sex if they want the least amount of risk of obtaining an std. If he proceeded without using protection then he is responsible. That being said, I would gladly help someone I cared for with expenses if they needed it and I could afford it. But that help would most certainly not be offered if they were not being kind to me regardless of who have it to whom. I'm sorry you are going through this and want to urge you not to feel obligated to pay his expenses. If you truly want to help him then I fully support you but again don't feel like you need to because you definitely don't. Warmly, Strength123

Hello @Saveme51, To be better safe than sorry I would proceed as if it is HSV1 and take all the recommeded precautions not to spread the virus. HSV1 can be found genitally but it's not as common, if I were you I would continue to go in for the swab test when symptoms appear genitally to be sure. Wishing you all the best, Strength123

@Loyalloulou and @Krissy, Don't give up. Yes, the initial diagnosis is difficult to deal with, mostly because of the social stigma surrounding it and not the actual virus itself. Now that you know you have the virus, you have the power of knowdgle, use it and become informed on how to limit transmission and be confident that you will not spread it to children or other loved ones. Please know that you are dealing with the most difficult parts of H right now and things will get better for both of you. You have a huge community of support through this forum, we all know what you are going through. I also encourage you to reach out to friends, family and counselors for additional support. H is not worth loosing your life over. You still have so much to offer the world and I hope you will see that again soon enough. Please send me a private message if you want someone to talk to. I am always here to listen. Thank you, Strength123

@Steve888Wishing you all the best! Disclosing is never easy but you have the knowledge and love to help you through it. Sending good vibes your way. Warmly, Strength123

Hello @livingbeyond, In my mind, what you just went through is sincerely the hardest part about living with H. I admire the strength and integrity you showed in disclosing to someone you really liked and my heart goes out to you for now dealing with the hurt of a painful rejection. You said it already, I think his behavior shows this is not someone you would want to share your life with, and lucky for you, you found this out before wasting years trying to find that out. How someone reacts to H is probably a good indicator of how someone handles hurdles in a relationship and speaks to what they value in a potential partner. You will find someone who sees past your H and when that happens you will feel such a deep connection and know that person is there for the right reasons. You just may need to kiss a few toads to get there. I'm so proud that you put yourself out there, that's a huge step. Don't let this rejection hold you back, any rejection means you are trying and are that much closer to finding someone who will accept you. I Warmly, Strength123

I have never used one but if you decide to order it please let me know how it goes.

Hello @IJDK I am so sorry that you are in pain, the good news is that it will pass and symptoms will lessen over time. I wish I had an answer for you but instead I have a question. I have heard people mention nerve pain as a symptom but I'm wondering exactly what that is? Where do you feel the pain?

@Sunflowergirl He would want to risk it because you have so much to offer. This is all new but remember this is just a skin condition in a very inconvenient place. Qualities such as kindness, compassion, honesty, and integrity are just a few that are going to heavily outweigh the risk of contracting herpes. Given your history as a couple it's clear that you both share deep feelings for each other and herpes should not stand in the way of that. I'm wishing you all the best. Warmly, Strength123

I'm reminded that persistence, really is a strength of mine. After three clinics would not order the Western Blot test for me, I just started calling every clinic within 50 miles until I finally got someone who would order it for me. If you are having trouble getting someone to order the test, I suggest you call as many clinics as you need until you find someone who will do it.

Hello @PinkButterfly, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I just want to say that you are not alone and encourage you to talk someone. Humans are very vocal creatures; our emotional health is strongly correlated to the way we speak. This is part of the reason therapy is so successful. Many people feel an instant relief by just speaking about an issue to someone. I personally felt better after talking about my diagnosis with trusted friends and family. I'm wishing you all the best and hope you get the same feeling of relief and comfort that I get from talking about my diagnosis. Warmly, Strength123

Thank you, I have received a lot myself. My normal Kaiser physician said they could not order outside tests so I have an appointment with Planned Parenthood tomorrow to see if they can order it. Unfortunately, I will need to pay an additional $150 for the exam first before they will order anything but it's worth it to know if I have H for sure.

Female condoms are an option and protect more of the skin surface than a male condom, just an idea.

When and how does the emotional trama of being diagnosed with H ever go away? I'm a 30 year old, single, female who is likely* H 2 positive and the emotional rollercoaster of this diagnosis is so damn difficult. Last night I thought dressing up and going dancing with friends would help me but it actually triggered a new wave of grief for me. I realized that casual sex is gone for me, I don't get the option to take a stranger home after a fun night of dancing. I was hit on by an attractive guy and the flirty attention felt so nice but the reality sunk in that if this did lead anywhere I would have to tell him about H and hope he is able to see beyond it. I feel like I have worked so hard to build a nice life with a good career, recent purchase of a home and now it's going to be so hard to find someone to share that life with. I have a hard time believing that someone will accept me after I tell them I have H. No one wants this and it makes sense to protect yourself from it. I have had one rejection from a guy that I really liked and as much as my emotional side wants to villianize him for ending the relationship over it, my rational side says he made a responsible decision to protect himself from this unwanted, permanent, skin condition. I'm just at a low point, and could use some support. Writing my feelings down is helping, thank you for reading them and any support you can offer. Warmly, Strength123 * No physical symptoms but two positive igg HSV 2 results. Trying to get the Western Blot test to be sure.

@ihatethis That is lovely to hear! I am happy for you. Thank you for sharing, it gives me a little hope.

Hello @Whatiswrongwithme, I'm so sorry you are going through the stress of possibly giving this to your partner. It's my understanding that, transmission is possible but unlikely given your circumstance. Based on the fact that he wore a condom and the placement of the OB, I wouldn't be too worried. I would just warn him to monitor for development of any symptoms and continue being cautious of sex during an OB. Warmly, Strength123

@Justawomen I would not assume anything, next time you have an outbreak go into the doctor and get it swabbed for a herpes test. You may also request a HSV blood test if you don't have an outbreak but the swab is most definitive. Best of luck!