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Amando last won the day on October 18

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  1. Hi Sazzle Sorry you are where you are at the moment but it will get easier. I think there are 2 sides to the disclosing early or waiting & getting closer to the person. This is only my view, from my experience, others may think difference! If you disclose early, 1st date or 2nd, the chances of being accepted are lower but the pain of being rejected is not so bad, if they accept you though, well great! If you disclose after getting to know the person (obviously before you have had sex with them) your chances are higher of acceptance, as they have invested in you but if you get rejected, it hurts so much more. I will also say that even when you have been accepted, you can be rejected after they have had time to think about it (normally 1 to 2 week period I find ) I have read quite a few stories of people having disclosed by text on a dating app & have been accepted before they have even met in person. I think it is totally up to you when you disclose, which ever suits how you feel. So if you are not happy, trust me, you will find someone who will accept you be positive, put yourself out there & have fun dating, until someone great comes along I wish you the very best luck!
  2. Amando

    HSV2 Transmission to Mouth via Oral Sex?

    I have definitely read it somewhere a few times, including on here. I'm pretty sure its correct but sorry I can't give you a reference as I don't know where it was. What I recall is that it is less likely than HSV1 oral to genital but can happen & it didn't say anything about it only happening if the person had compromised immune system. Also I'm sure I have read stories on here that someone has been affected in this way.
  3. Amando

    HSV2 Transmission to Mouth via Oral Sex?

    Hi OverTheRainbow You can pass HSV2 to someone orally although your right it does normally prefer the genitals, it is possible to have oral HSV2. Suppressive therapy decreases the chances of your partner getting the virus from you, whether you have no OB's at all or lots of OB's.
  4. Hi If your not happy in the relationship with your boyfriend, you should not stay in it because he was so nice & understanding when you disclosed or your scared of getting rejection from someone new. Also it is not fair on him, if your not feeling it anymore. It is possible to get rejected for other things when dating not just for disclosing, So if your not happy, get back out there, you may get a rejection along the way but you also may find Mr Perfect!
  5. Amando

    Ghsv1 unprotected sex in relationships

    Hi I had been with my girlfriend for 6 years before & recently got back together with her. We have never used condoms & just don't have sex when I have an OB. She has so far never been affected by me, she gets a check once a year.
  6. Amando

    To continue suppressive therapy or not?

    Hi Anonymous88 Firstly, I do not use any suppressants, if my girl friend wanted me to, I most certainly would. I do not follow any diets, I drink when I want to & stay up late etc, maybe I'm just lucky! If the suppressants keep you from having OB's, then they are certainly worth staying on, especially as your OB's are painful. But if you do not get the OB's when not on them, I would not take them at least while you are single, then it is up for discussion when you find someone. I know some people take them for life & a lot have too but I can't help but think that it can not be a good thing to take a drug every single day for such a long time, you never know the long term side effects, I don't take statins for this exact reason. There are plenty of people on here that have taken them for a very long time, so hopefully they will give you the information you want. I really hope you stop hurting, god bless!
  7. Amando

    Masturbation as a trigger

    I would agree with what Anonymous88 said. The fact that your only 4 months in as well, it will probably settle down after a longer time. Maybe using toys might a better option for you.
  8. Amando

    Someone died relating to this sad story of mine

    Whatever you believe that you have done wrong, you are not to blame for his mothers death, period. We all make bad decisions/mistakes in life, that's what makes us human! learning from them is the key. Oh & he can stay up late, drink & do unhealthy things, shit! ain't nothing gonna stop me enjoying life it certainly does not affect me or bring on extra OB's. So please stop beating yourself up, things will get better.
  9. Amando

    Rejected, my first time

    Hi SimplyC My heart goes out to you! I certainly know the massive pain of rejection & it strikes a big blow. If this guy didn't even have the decency to let you know he did not want to take the risk of catching H, either by text or a phone call, let alone to your face, I think you have dodged a bullet! What does that say about the sort of person he is? I still hurt when I think about my big rejection but please keep going, do not give up & you will find someone who excepts you & treats you with dignity. Be strong & you will find someone so much better than he was, big hugs!
  10. Hi unbreakable Did you disclose to the guy you infected before you had sex? If so he knew the risks & even though none of us want to infect another, you gave him a choice, which a lot of us on here didn't get. Either way, if he has stayed with you for a long time, surely there is an attachment between you two! You do need to talk to each other about this problem, as if you both want to stay together, there is no point of being angry every time an OB comes on. It is normal to not feel like dating if a relationship with someone you care about breaks down , even without having H. You need time to heal after a break up, only then can you be ready to date again. Big hugs!
  11. Amando

    Good or bad idea couple therapy?

    Hi TequilaGirl It is 100% alright to talk about H with the psychologist & you can be totally open about it as everything you say is confidential. Good luck with the therapy, hope it goes well
  12. Hi AnastasiaB I can assure you that the right guy will understand that you are so much more than the skin infection......because you are Being positive is half the battle, so go out & date, you may find a few wrong guys along the way but when you find the right one it will of been worth it. I wish you the very best of luck
  13. Amando


    I believe the virus dies after only 10 seconds if not on skin. Also I have read on so many herpes websites that you can not get the virus from towels, toilets seats etc
  14. Amando

    Encouraging UK Clinics Failure

    Wow that is really bad! I totally agree with you, they should let people know that they are not being tested for Herpes. Don't we all wish it was a matter of being "just cold sores" because like you, I got rejected by someone I thought was special & even though I'm with a fantastic women now, that will stay with me forever. Yep utter bullshit!
  15. Amando

    my very first disclosure!

    I think you should disclose anyway you feel comfortable to do so. If you think texting is the best way for you, so be it! We all handle things differently, I have disclosed to loads of family & friends with a smile on my face & in a joking manner, to me that was so easy but disclosing to a partner is much tougher as there is so much more at stake. Like 100918 said, she was rejected then later accepted but for me, I was accepted then 2 weeks later rejected, it then took her another 3 months of texting until she finally gave up on me but that caused me more pain than it was worth. I'm just trying to say that be prepared as people can change there mind after finding out more info & a little more time to think. My first ever disclosure went very well though, she accepted me on the spot & I am back with her now, so have faith. But disclose how you chose to disclose, there is no wrong or right way I sincerely wish you the very best of luck