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newtothis22 last won the day on January 10

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  1. @Braino What are the statistics on hsv1 shedding & transmission rates? I can't seem to find them anywhere
  2. @Lonelygirl88 Well hopefully you'll get answers soon... Why did you have to leave? I'm sure everything will be okay and feel free to message me if you'd like to talk
  3. @Lonelygirl88 Thanks but there's no need to apologise, we are all going through something tough. I get spots around my lips a lot, I wouldn't call them cold sores though but every single red spot or white head certainly gravitates to my lips for some reason. Have you had a blood test then? It's frustrating not knowing due to a lack of a swab. How do you disclose what you have?
  4. Last year after having unprotected sex, the following day I began to get irritation around my penis including some red spots and small rashes. A few days later I had white heads appear near the base of my penis but with no pain. By the end of the week I even spotted what I believed was a very small genital wart on my penis. This freaked me out because I already knew a lot about herpes so I suspected it could be a mild outbreak triggered through sex and now I had genital warts on top of this. The next week I went to the clinic but by this point the white head spots had faded, but still I explained everything and they diagnosed my genital wart but didn't suggest herpes. I also had a boil above my pubic area filled with puss but was told this wasn't linked to herpes. I was still worried my outbreak could've been so mild that it went unnoticed so I decided to take a private blood test to ease my concerns, the results came back HSV-2 negative but HSV-1 positive. A nurse phoned me with the results and I explained to her why I thought it could be genital but based on my symptoms she told me she thinks it's just oral due to the absence of painful blisters. I can never remember having coldsores but my father has always had them and from what I can remember he was never that careful in keeping me protected since we would share drinks etc. My mother also had genital herpes while she was pregnant with me if this is relevant. Since then I've not known what to think, at times I do get red spots on and around my penis and every time this happens I visit the clinic but they always tell me it isn't anything to worry about and no need for swab tests etc. I'm just in a position now where I don't know how to start dating because I'm unsure what to tell future partners. I am ready to start a long-term relationship with someone but I feel it is best to be honest with them although I'm worried how best to explain my situation without scaring them away. I actually have feelings for someone but she lives in the same accommodation as me and we share mutual friends so I don't know if I could bring myself to tell her and risk others knowing. We have been spending a lot of time together lately and as much as I want to make a move this is holding me back and I'm not sure if it can ever work given my circumstances.
  5. Was your outbreak diagnosed through swab and blood test? HSV-1 from a blood test doesn't necessarily mean genital and could be oral herpes caught from childhood. If you get another blood test it will probably come back as HSV-1 again since around 80% of people have the first type. In regards to dating I would advise taking it slow and waiting until you feel comfortable with that person until you disclose, and just be honest in what's going on. I think you'd be surprised in how accepting people can be. Saying this I am in a similar situation to you with HSV-1 and am yet to attempt disclosing but this forum has made me feel more confident for when the time comes. Feel free to PM me if you'd like someone to talk to :)
  6. @SD1990 I agree but I have shown certain symptoms in my genitals, however they've been dismissed as something else by heath care professionals. Although very mild (small painless white heads etc) I am still paranoid from what I have read that it could be a mild outbreak despite never being diagnosed. Part of me wishes I didn't take a blood test at all but I just wanted to make sure it wasn't HSV-2 first. If it is genital then I probably caught it from receiving oral sex but considering 80% of people carry HSV-1 it's hard to avoid.
  7. If you really like her then there's no need to end it, just get the warts frozen and they should be gone within weeks. Then disclose to your partner and if she cares about you as much as you do her then she will understand. Don't throw it all away and make yourself miserable or you will always wonder 'what if'
  8. I've read a lot about the transmission rates for HSV-2 but I never see much about the rates for HSV-1. Does anyone know more about the rates of transmission for HSV-1, oral or genital? I am unsure where mine is located and only found out due to a blood test to ease my worries but unfortunately it didn't do that because HSV-1 on a blood test doesn't tell me much. I still wish to disclose though by explaining I carry this strain but some statistics to go with it would help. If anyone knows them or of any useful websites then it would be much appreciated. Thanks
  9. After reading many of the successful disclosure threads, it has made me slightly more confident for when the time comes. I'm just unsure how to disclose my particular "situation" since it isn't just a case of genital herpes. This is my "situation" - Diagnosed with one very small genital wart in November, frozen off and hasn't returned. Had some white heads appear on my penis after unprotected sex, worried this could be an outbreak of existing herpes so opted for a private blood test. The results came back HSV-2 negative but HSV-1 positive, but when I told the nurse about my outbreak she told me she doesn't think it's genital and likely oral from childhood. I've had multiple visits to the clinic for every little symptom but never has any doctor told me they suspect herpes and therefore no swabs. I don't recall having cold sores but my dad has always had them, I have had a lot of spots above my lip lately though. I also get red spots around my pubic area that don't seem to go away. I just don't know how to explain this to someone without it taking forever and scaring them over two incurable STIs. While there's a chance it could be, it may also be a case of HPV that has already left my body and oral HSV-1 that 80% of people carry anyway. Yet I am still terrified of dating again!! Does anyone have any advice for me? Thanks
  10. 22 y/o male here from England. Carry both HPV and HSV-1 and would like someone to talk to, no real preference on age/gender just someone who can emphasis with my situation whether they carry one or both viruses. Feel free to drop me a message anytime, I'm very responsive ๐Ÿ™‚
  11. @alllgood Feel free to message me if you want someone to talk to ๐Ÿ˜Š
  12. Thanks for your reply @Amando and you're right if I do ever get them again I'll go straight to the clinic but it's unlikely they would swab them anyway because at every clinic appointment I've been to they haven't even mentioned this could be herpes and dismiss it when I suggest the possibility. However I chose to take a private blood test for my own peace of mind. Very true ๐Ÿ˜‚ But you're correct I feel that it is so common people in the UK people don't even see it as an issue when it comes to sex, before I did my research I had no idea that cold sores even meant herpes! Thanks again, It's great to have an active member in this forum and it looks like you're helping a lot of people, big respect ๐Ÿ˜ƒ
  13. I've just had my igG blood test results back, negative for HSV-2 and positive for HSV-1. The nurse explained that 80% of people carry the HSV-1 virus so it's not surprising I am positive, especially since my father has always had cold sores. I told her about my symptoms I believed to be genital, the red spots and itching but she doesn't believe this means I have it genitally. She said this is likely to be bacterial and could be linked to my molluscum etc, since I haven't always been hygienic by using the same towel multiple times etc. Since I have never had any blisters/sores and therefore cannot be swabbed this is as far as I can take it in terms of testing. I feel like I've done all that I can. Still a little worried of course when it comes to dating since I already carry HPV from a genital wart and I also know that HSV-1 can be transmitted orally to genitally so unsure what the protocol would be when disclosing etc. Has anyone else been in a similar situation and how do you deal with this? I'm just relieved to finally know my herpes status after all these months of worry.
  14. Six months ago I had the best life, living in London with loads of friends and big on the dating scene. I was seeing someone who was shortly leaving so that relationship was fizzling out and at a party I met someone else. We instantly clicked and I felt a massive connection so we began seeing each other until my fixed term job contract came to an end and I had to move away. But we stayed in touch and met up since we were waiting until September when we'd be living closer again. Between this time I developed possible herpes symptoms so I told both her and the girl I was seeing before, they both got checked and the girl from before was told she may have herpes. She had a blood test which came back indeterminate but was told this showed recent exposure which could only be from me. However when I was checked they told me the symptoms weren't herpes and wouldn't do a blood test. I still felt that if she eventually comes back positive then it must be me so I am an asymptomatic carrier. I had to tell the current girl I was seeing and she was understanding until I was forced to admit there was a slight overlap in dating between both girls. I didn't meant for it to happen but it's just the way it was and after explaining she did forgive me and understand. But I was going through a hard time with other things too and eventually she put an end to things. Looking back at the messages I don't think she wanted things to end and I should've fought harder for her but with everything going on I just let her go. After a terrible month of feeling like I'd lost everything and had no future, the first girl's latest blood test came back negative. She told me the first test must've been in error so I had no reason to believe I carried the virus. Around the same time the girl I lost sent me a friendly message to see how I am and at this point I should've won her back. But instead I was so pleased to be clean and was heading to University soon I decided to leave it for the time being. When I got to University I went out a lot, posted a lot over social media with other girls and got back on the dating scene. Then one night I got really drunk and slept with someone unprotected, a few days later symptoms appeared, white heads, rashes and general irritation. I went to the clinic the following week and they found a genital wart, I was devastated. I now have to live with HPV and probably herpes with the sex triggering an outbreak since I've had pretty much every symptom minus actual blisters. I will do a blood test in the new year and find out for certain. I feel that I've lost my shot of happiness all because I wanted to carry on the casual lifestyle that I didn't even enjoy. I had my second chance in September and I blew it so now I'm facing the reality of living with two incurable STI's. I'm only 22 yet I've lost the only girl I've ever felt a proper connection with and I can't see anyone ever wanting to be with me again. I'm not looking forward to 2019 because all I feel that is ahead is pain, when girls show an interest all I can do is turn them away because I'm too ashamed to tell them and I can't see that changing. Sorry for the long winded message but I would appreciate having someone to talk to so feel free to message me or post a reply.
  15. Itโ€™s probably the stress linked to having HSV-2 causing you to break out since Iโ€™m sure it canโ€™t be actual herpes on your chin
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