Steve888

Damn! Im sorry you’re dealing with everything all at once, it sounds like you’ve had a really rough go. Im very curious why no swab test was done. That would’ve been the most accurate way to tell whether you’re dealing with H or not. From what you described, it sounds more like shingles to me. The locations and severity of your symptoms don’t sound like HSV, but I’m not a doctor. From what I’ve read it is entirely possible to have had it for 15yrs and just now have an outbreak due to high stress. I believe I’m in a similar situation. as far as antibodies, I’m not 100% sure but I think you would have antibodies from about 4 months after initial exposure on until now. So yes 15yrs worth. Maybe someone else who’s more informed about this can comment? As far as whether you’ll have another ob, it’s almost impossible to know for sure. Everyone seems to react differently. I would research how to prevent future outbreaks and make those changes to your lifestyle. But only do so if you’ve tested positive, I would seriously inquire about shingles and have your doctor try to get to the bottom of what’s going on with you. Shingles and herpes are in the same family of virus. Wish you the best and let us know how you do.

I had the talk with my wife tonight. She was more upset that I kept it from her for so long than she was about what I had to tell her. She didn’t blame me or accuse me. She asked some questions and was pretty understanding. I was surprised, I should have given her more credit. I could tell she was shocked but was trying to keep it together, she’ll make an appt with her ob tomorrow and ask them all of the questions she has and come up with a plan to get tested (if possible) and go from there. Thanks to everyone for all of the support and encouragement. I feel so much better having gotten that off of my chest.

I’m 33 and I’ve been married for 7 years. My wife and I have been going through an incredibly stressful time and I had what I thought was an ingrown hair that had become infected. It was just a single bump on my groin area about 2 inches above the base of my penis. It was still there after about a week so I went to the doctor and even they didn’t think it was anything but they swabbed anyway and the test came back positive. I was completely shocked. I have no idea how long I’ve had it, if this was my first “outbreak” or if I’ve had other “ingrown hairs” that were actually mild outbreaks. It’s all so confusing. I was wild when I was a little younger so I think I’ve just had it all along and didn’t have symptoms and the stress in my life brought it out now. I had another red bump in the same spot as the last one and I immediately got a prescription for some antivirals just in case. I’m pretty sure it was a second outbreak. This was about two weeks ago. So it’s about 4-5 months apart. Both very mild, one bump which looked like a pimple or ingrown hair.

You’re not making anything worse for me, like I said, it helps talking to people. I haven’t really had the chance to talk to another person who has it since I found out. Only two people know and I never really talk to them about it. Youre right about people not wanting to research and learn the facts. If they aren’t positive it seems they don’t want to waste their time which makes it feel like you’re not worth anyone’s time. So I get it. You shouldn’t drink like that though, I read it could trigger an outbreak! Lol. But it seems everything related to normal life could, so I just do what I normally do.

You’re definitely not alone! I’m 5 months in and still over analyzing every tingle, itch and bump I feel in my groin! I’m questioning everything and still trying to learn the new me. I’m struggling with depression but I’ve always been the type of person who deals with whatever comes at me and just moves forward. I’ve been through a lot in my life and this is definitely hard, but it’s nothing compared to some of the other things I’ve made it through. I bet if you really thought about it and put things in perspective, herpes isn’t the worst thing that’s happened to you. That’s one of the ways I deal with depression. It also really helps me to talk to people who understand. Like right now. I know how frustrating it is when people minimize this, for me it’s the mental and emotional torture that’s the worst. I’m thinking time and confidence might be the two things that help heal the most.

The problem seems to be that we, as Americans, are not educated about sex and everything that goes along with it. I’ve told a couple of close friends of mine and their reactions were completely different. One of them knows people who have H and the other doesn’t. The person who has a couple of friends, and an ex, with H was completely understanding and actually knew more than I did about it. She was comforting and reassured me that I was still me and that this wasn’t a big deal. My other friend was like “damn, you’re fucked!”. People will have different reactions based on their level of familiarity with HSV. I’m going through my own mess right now, I was recently diagnosed and I’m struggling disclosing to my SO. We haven’t had sex since my diagnosis and I absolutely have to tell her before we do. I admire you for being honest, most of us are in this position because someone from our past wasn’t honest with us. It’s the right thing to do, and the dude you disclosed to treated you like an asshole. Most likely because he’s uneducated and misinformed. I felt, and feel, such a loss of identity but it’s important to remember that you are still you. H is essentially a skin rash that we have to deal with a few times a year. The real problem we are facing is the stigma everyone else has when it comes to HSV. Just have hope that not everyone is stupid and judgemenal.

I’m actually considering having the talk today. My wife was just cleared by her dr for physical activity which will include sex at the end of this week. I’ve been putting it off as long as possible, unfortunately the time has come. I’ll post here and let everybody know how it went.

Thank you guys for the kind words and support. I’ve done my fair share of research and brainstorming but it really does help to hear from people going through the same thing. I have so many questions and concerns and will definitely take advantage of this forum.

I was just recently diagnosed with HSV2. I’m losing my shit and feel like I have nowhere to turn so I decided to come here and look for a little help. I’m married and have been with my wife for 9 years. I was a wild person before I met her, but never had any STD’s. In the beginning of 2018 my wife found out that she was positive for the BRCA1 gene mutation and decided that she was going to have a double mastectomy and a hysterectomy. This has brought an unbelievable amount of stress and depression into both of our lives. It’s been a hard year. About 30 days before her surgery(beginning of May) I had an ingrown hair about 2” above the base of my penis on my pubic mound. This wasn’t a big deal to me because I always get ingrown hairs in that area because I trim regularly. After a week it was still there and I was having some strange sensations so I went to the doctor. The doctor thought it was an infected hair follicle at first but decided to swab for HSV after I shared my syndromes. It was weird because it was just one red bump that looked like a pimple. Well the test came back positive and I’ve been an absolute wreck. I have no idea where this came from and a million things are running through my mind. My first fear is that my wife either cheated at some point or will accuse me. I’m about 99% sure she didn’t do anything wrong, especially lately with all that’s going on with her. It’s impossible actually. So she’s definitely going to accuse me and I honestly have no answer as to where this came from. I was diagnosed with Hepatitis C last year from past drug use and was able to get rid of it with treatment, so being diagnosed with another disease has made me feel like such a piece of shit and I’m so afraid to tell my wife. So I have a few questions: Is this something I could have had all along and I’m just having an out break now? Maybe stress brought it out? Maybe all of my “ingrown hairs” have been mild HSV2 outbreaks? How have I not passed this to my wife in 9 years? My history before I met her could definitely explain where it came from but I’m baffled as to how I never knew. Considering the sensations I’ve been feeling in my genitals I’m fairly positive this has to be my first outbreak. I’ve never felt anything quit like this before! And here’s the biggest question of all, how the fuck do I tell her about this? With everything she’s going through I just haven’t been able to throw this onto her shoulders as well. On the other hand, it’s been torture having to shoulder it alone. If anyone has any insight into my situation and any suggestions as to how I should handle it I’m all ears. Thanks.