Nathalie

@Ohhey143 Check out zocdoc.com - it’s a free website that helps you find local doctors. You can even add your insurance and book an appointment directly online. It makes the process so much easier, especially in the beginning when you’re doing research on therapists. And I haven’t met anyone yet with it (I was only diagnosed a month ago), but I’m sure i know people who do and don’t talk about it. Damn, I’m sure I know people who do and don’t even know THEY have it - the facts speak the truth. But also, here is a community of people who are positive. I might not know you, but I can understand you. I’m going through the same emotions. We are all here for each other.

@lily I won't be able to answer all of your questions, but as a woman, I do experience itching after shaving. I can usually tell the difference between a razor bump and a lesion though. I've been diagnosed recently though, so I sometimes go crazy and panic and think that ANY difference in feeling down there means I'm getting an outbreak. I'm trying to stay calm about it all though, otherwise I'll drive myself crazy and the stress will actually cause an outbreak. Vaginas are beautifully complicated. Hopefully with time we'll both start understanding our prodrome symptoms better. It sounds like people who've had H for a while knowing a lot about what causes triggers and when they're about to have an OB.

@Mar535 Thank you for your kind note. I am feeling better now, and thankful for that since I was in a dark place initially. I'm experiencing another slight outbreak, but it's much less severe than the first. I'm just trying to understand my body now and what triggers it. It's a learning process I guess. Luckily, my boyfriend has been tremendous. Lots of holding, back scratches and kisses, so I am thankful. And you're right, sometimes I do need to be specific with my needs haha, but he's always responsive.

@Ohhey143 I've been seeing a therapist for a while and was very thankful to have her when I tested positive. I highly recommend seeing a therapist, for truly EVERYTHING & ANYTHING in life, not just herpes. I'm not a doctor, and I'm sure many of us aren't, so I can't provide much more advice regarding your choices. The first thing my therapist did tell me though is that I should never feel like I HAVE to stay with my boyfriend since we are both positive or ONLY have sex with H positive people. I love my boyfriend though and he loves me, so this isn't something I'm dealing with right now. You are deserving. You deserve love, kindness and honesty. You should treat yourself the same way. We aren't herpes, we just have it and that doesn't make us gross people. You deserve the same kind of love, kindness and honesty as someone who is H negative. Just remember that. You have control over your choices.

@Dandelion333 I have HSV1 and also experience genital outbreaks. I only found out recently (about a month ago). My first outbreak was truly hell - I've never experienced that much pain. I was SO paranoid about shaving, truly. I usually get sugar waxing, which is all natural and doesn't cause any side effects (unlike razors and hard wax). Look it up. But since my outbreak, I haven't gone to my waxer, because I've been too embarrassed and getting over the symptoms. I shaved over a week ago for the first time since my outbreak, because I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend (he is also positive, gave it to me unknowingly). I prefer being hairless, so I was praying it wouldn't cause an outbreak. I'll be honest, I did get one lesion after shaving. Just one though, compared to the fifteen I had during my first outbreak. I can definitely tell the difference between the razor bumps and the lesion. When I noticed the first lesion I panicked. I checked myself every day. I realized that I need to calm down, because stress can trigger and cause more outbreaks. So I'm trying to be free about it and kind to myself. I'll likely avoid shaving with a razor moving forward, but will try out sugar waxing when I'm all cleared up. I can update this post and let you know how the sugaring goes. Since it's all natural and pulls out the entire hair follicle, I'm hoping it doesn't trigger any outbreaks. Hope this was helpful!

@Loyalloulou You are not alone. Everyone in this community is here to support you. Please, please, please call the National Suicide Lifeline if you are at that point 1-800-273-8255. I found out recently that I was positive and in just three weeks, I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You are the same person you were before you found out you were positive and you will continue to be. It is so incredibly common and with time, people will become more and more educated and it will become less stigmatized. Right now you are just experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions, I did too. I let myself cry when I needed to and then I read and read and read and realized how common this is - it's just a skin issue. You need to be kind with yourself right now. I promise it gets better. And when it feels incredibly tough, please reach out to this community. Please call someone you trust. You are the same wonderful person you have always been.

@LM_93 That helps a lot, thank you so much. My partner gave it to me genitally, which seems to be rare, but he’s never had any oral outbreaks either. I’m hoping they aren’t as frequent, as the research says, because this first OB was rough. I did hear that wherever your first OB is, is where it is usually manifests moving forward. So yours have only been genital? Do you mind sharing how you disclose this information to partners now? Do you explain the facts of HSV1, but tell them you get OV genitally or is that information you don’t feel is necessary to share? Have you ever had an OB that seems to be going away/healing and then returns? I might just be paranoid, but I feel the itching again. I’m still on Valtrex though. Sorry for the many questions... thanks again for all your help.

Hi all, I’m finally getting over my first genital outbreak, which was truly the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. It’s been about ten days. I got a culture test and found out today that I’m aftuallt HSV1, despite the fact that my first outbreak was in the genital area. I’m a bit surprised, I’ve done some research and I know it’s possible to have type 1, but get sores via oral sex. Im curious, does anyone else have HSV1, but have genital outbreaks? Do you only have genital outbreaks or are they sometimes oral as well? Thanks in advance xx Nathalie

Hi, I literally just went through the same thing. I started a relationship a little over a month ago and was diagnosed with HSV2 this weekend. I texted and told him that we needed to talk and that I'd just left urgent care - he called me immediately and I told him in a very matter-of-fact way. I said that I had just left urgent care and was diagnosed with herpes, and was still dealing with the emotional and physical pain. I told him that he should get tested and that I had no idea I was positive. He was kind, he listened, he told me we were going to be okay. If this person cares for you, he will be understanding. I right off the bat told my guy that I didn't want this to be a blame game, that I trusted had he'd known, he would have told me. It's honestly really hard to say who gave it to who. If he's an asshole about it, then you learned sooner rather than later, but I doubt that will be his approach based off what you shared about your relationship. It's scary, but you can do this. The person who cares about you should know, so that they can get tested and also act as a support. In terms of the pain, I'm right there with you. This is the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life. I cried for four days straight. Does Advil help you at all? It didn't for me, so my doctor prescribed me lidocaine (a numbing gel that helps with peeing) and Vicodin. I took a week off work and wore very loose clothing (no underwear). I recommend baths, especially with epsom salt and to try and pee in the baths. If you don't have a bath (like me), you can get a sitz bath. Those can even fit in your toilet and do the same thing. You aren't alone. I am still home dealing with this, but I am in a better place than I was a week and a half ago. It gets better with time and research and leaning on people that love you. You are still the same amazing person you were before you found out you were H positive. Trust me. The people that matter will stick with you. Message me if you need anything at all, we're all in this together.

Hi all, I'm experiencing my first OB after finding out I'm HSV-2 positive this weekend. I'm in excruciating pain - honestly the worst pain I've ever experienced. I have the usual symptoms, itchiness, tingling, burning, having trouble urinating, etc. But I'm also experiencing a lot of white, thin discharge (I'm a female). Honestly it almost looks like milk. Sometimes I'll get up and it's just like I'm leaking everywhere. It's weird. I haven't found anything online. Has anyone else experienced this symptom? I'm lonely and sad. -N

@LM_93 Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry to hear you had a tough start too, but it seems you aren't alone in that way either. My struggle has been pretty intense thus far, but it's hopeful to know that you were able to find happiness. I know that I shouldn't panic about the guy and that if we are meant to be that he should stick by my side, but it's hard not to spiral sometimes with my thoughts. I am not herpes, I just have herpes. Can you share how your diet has changed and what you've noticed help reduce OBs? Do you have ways you lower your stress, too? I know that can trigger OBs as well, and I'm nervous since I deal with a lot of anxiety. Thanks for your kind message and help.

@Strength123 Thank you for sharing and for reaching out. Your journey is a beautiful one and I'm glad to hear you have found optimism, self worth and a positive outlook. I know I will get there and I know there will be struggles along the way, as is much of life. I am thankful for this community and can say that my first comment on my post (yours) has already made a difference. I'm sending hugs to wherever you are in the world.

Hi all, I never thought I would be telling my HSV2 story in a forum, but here I am and I'm so thankful for this community. These past four four days have felt like a nightmare and I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that it is actually my reality. A few days ago, I called my gyno and asked for a dose of yeast infection medication. After a few days of excruciating pain, I realized that the symptoms were more extreme than a yeast infection, so I did a check and my heart sank. I immediately went to the urgent care, where the doctor took one look and knew. To make matters worst, the urgent care doctor had no bedside manners. I was a mess, bawling my eyes out and all he did was print out a one-pager on herpes. He barely gave me the time of day to ask him questions. I had to walk over to my pharmacy bawling and then pick up my Valtrex... I proceeded to bawl even more in the middle of the pharmacy. Thankfully when I went to my OB-GYN on Monday I had a much better experience. I was a mess and I'm also experiencing so much pain. Advil doesn't help. Every time I go pee, I cry, because this one simple task takes everything in me. My gyno prescribed me vicodin and numbing cream, because of the pain. She said "poor baby, no wonder you're in so much pain." Apparently it's a bad one. Besides the physical pain, I'm also going through a rollercoaster of emotions. I've only been seeing this guy for a month now and had to call him. Neither of us knew and/or showed any symptoms in the past. I've recently been tested, but from what I understand, sometimes blood tastes fail. And a lot of the times, they don't even test for herpes. He's been sweet and supportive, and that's the silver lining. He isn't experiencing the same kind of outbreak, so I feel lonely in that sense. I feel disgusted by my own body. I want to be held, but then I panic and fear that he won't want me if my outbreak lasts a while and we can't have sex. I know these are irrational fears, but everything is happening at once. Also, am I going to be able to give a natural birth? I'm only 26, but for some reason I am distraught over the potential of not being warranted a natural birth. I'm at a lost. I am in pain. I am sad and lonely and in need of someone who has experienced the same. I don't really know what I need, I think just supportive words. For someone to tell me it's going to be okay and I will live a normal life at some point. If you've made it this far, thank you for reading. Even just writing this has been cathartic. - N

I found out this weekend I was HSV2 positive and have been experiencing the worst outbreak. I am in so much physical and emotional pain, it's hard to even get out of bed. I really need someone to talk to as I feel incredibly lonely (I know the facts and that I'm not alone, but I can't help but feel isolated). I would love a buddy, preferably female (but I'm open to anyone that is willing to chat). I live in California and I'm 26. I just need someone to talk to that has experienced what I am experiencing. I'm a fun, open person that is super supportive as well, it's in my nature to care for other people. I just need a little extra support right now. Thanks for reading and for providing a safe forum.