startover098

I am thankful for my amazing daughter, my fantastic family, the women who staunchly stand beside me in good & bad times, the old friends who've made it a point to be closer, for my good fortune, health and generally awesome life :)

Thanks so much for this post. I've had the disclosure talk, but not the intimacy. ....yet. I've been trying to prepare myself mentaly for that possibility. It feels like you read my mind!!! I hope you don't mind if I borrow your mantra, kpeace!!! Keep us posted & best of luck :-)

Carlos- I love your words. You inspire me :-) I can see myself in so many of these posts. I've spent a great deal of time in my relationships "negotiating down" until ME gets lost. I identify with needing to get in touch with myself & figure out why the hell I do that! I am comforted to know there are others out there who struggle & am excited to start this journey.

Looking for a buddy :) Located in NE Wisconsin & only know of 1 other person in my situation. Just diagnosed & am thoroughly confused about symptoms & how to manage. Also on a big fat emotional roller coaster. Just turned 42 & am a single mom, so I don't have the time or luxury of falling apart. Any gender ok, just need a sounding board/guide through the maze. :) Thanks!

So within the last week, I've discovered my relationship was basically a lie & now the HSV2 diagnosis. This has all been alot to take. The heartache is still so new that, weirdly, the diagnosis seems almost secondary. The relationship came after a long rebuilding period after my divorce (ironically, from a cheater-although I saw that one coming so far in advance that I had plenty of time to prepare for leaving). I was in a great place, buying my first house & wasn't looking for anyone when "mr wonderful" entered my life. I kept him at arms length for awhile, but he worked & worked and won my trust and my heart. In retrospect, I can now see when he started to pull away, but never in million did he give any indication we were no longer exclusive or that he was headed in another direction (or two). I thought he was a man of extreme integrity & never suspected for a minute. Now I find myself fixated on WHY (which I know is ridiculous). But after going through this TWICE, I keep wondering if there is something fundamentally un-lovable about me. I know the new-ness is probably keeping me from seeing the other side of things, but with this diagnosis, I'm obligated to honesty with anyone who might enter my future (although that seems like a VERY remote possibility at this point). How do I do that without absolute trust? How will I ever be able to trust again?

WOW-that was amazing. I wish I could carry the whole damn thing around in my purse because it would be great to have those words handy :)

OK- I just received my herpes diagnosis yesterday & have been trying to arm myself with info. Diagnosis was confirmed via blood test, which was requested after discovering my "exclusive" boyfriend of almost 2 years was cheating.....with TWO other women for at least the last 9 months. I'm having what I believe to be an outbreak, although I only have 1 "sore" that looks like an ingrown hair vs. a blister. However, everything itches!! Is this normal? Everything I'm reading says 1st OB is horrid-but to me, it's just very uncomfortable. As an aside-I had all tests done about 4 years ago (all negative) when I got divorced. I'm confused by this. Is this normal? IS THERE a normal? (I'm giggling over that question...a little bit)