dogdad

the information i got did not include an IGG result, it was informal over email. i assume ill be getting the results in the mail which will show everything. because i got the rest of the testings in the mail. they just said it takes 2 weeks to get herpes back but it wasnt two weeks before i was told.

i am not wanted in this world. that much i can promise you. no friends or family. all i have is my canine companion. maybe my purpose was served. its felt that way since i took the uniform off. i am many statistics at this point..its 22 brave souls a day. but if i join them it would be 21 brave souls a day and one worthless SOB. saving one ..

at the end of the day you have your child, and nothing more should matter, you have a purpose and im happy for you. your life is more then just a virus. you have your boy. im just a walking cancer on society.. though hsv2 may not be a serious health concern it raises the risk of catching HIV ive read by 2 and ive read by 3. i dont know how i would contact you. i feel extremely alone. and this will make everything worse.

im going to have another blood test, im just in denial even more now. blood tests are unreliable and the VA is unreliable in a world of over 7 billion people, i just feel like the planet might live on another couple minutes without one man. let alone one infected man. im in group therapy 3 times a week, and i have one on one therapy once a week. but its not helping. sometimes it just reminds me of the bad.. my dog is unlucky, im the lucky one. i dont deserve him. but i have to try to be good enough for him.

im a proud united states army vet. i did my time, honorably and now the VA told me i have HSV2. now comes the problems and i want to know if anyone else had the same. i am in denial. the VA is notorious for being a total shit show. can it develop into HIV or cancer on its own if left untreated?? is it possible for my body to completely beat the virus assuming i do have it? i was sucidal before, because of my experiences. i dont think this will help me at all. the depression has amplified ten fold. im fat, hairy, bald, bow legged, rapidly deteriorating body, and now i have hsv2 as well. i dont see a point in living besides my dog. in fact, at this point if i wasnt around the world would be better off. if i knew someone could love my dog as much as me or better i would move on. but i digress. the message i got was that my agG was positive but REF was negative. what does that mean? from what i was reading they can tell i have the virus but not where, oral or gentile. which is another reason im in denial and ive never had an outbreak at all. i gave a blood and urine sample if that means anything. if i didnt have my dog i would have moved on by now. so if your thinking of reporting me, just understand that I AM OKAY as long as my dog is still breathing i have a purpose. so please talk to me. i just need some conversation from those more experienced then me.. if this ends up just being false, my entire perspective on life will have changed..