I was diagnosed with HSV-1 genitally about 3 years ago. I feel you on wanting to be smooth down there.
I don’t wax but I do shave! Once you become better at identifying a breakout vs. say razor burn you’ll feel less panic. I suggest making note of how you feel and what’s going on down there if you think a break out might be coming on. Understanding your prodrome symptoms is so important! (Is there tingling, itching, etc.?) For me, my lymph nodes always swell up 1-2 days prior to actually feeling an outbreak.
I don’t want to speak for everyone, but at least for me, shaving doesn’t trigger any breakouts. Don’t forget that HSV “wakes up” when your immune system is attacked not necessarily because you get a cut or a scratch some place on your body.