tomorrow

Average of transmission risk is 2%?? But in your case of having it for years and no symptoms/outbreaks at all, I would guess it is probably super low... Don’t worry or be anxious, because when you do you are increasing the transmission odd. ( your body produces certain materials/chemicals which are the feeds for virus growing). Stay positive and make no big deal of it in your deep heart, you may never pass.

It could be that the medication inhibits your body to produce antibodies indirectly, or it was wrong diagnosis first place (seems impossible if it was culture). I personally think there is also possibility that you are cured, though everywhere says hsv is incurable. (I have not been 100% convinced by this saying.) If I were you, I would just stop taking medication for at least 3-6 months and have a blood test. If it’s still negative, then accept and cheer that you are hsv 2 free!! Good luck!!

Good tip. Thanks! I have problems to drink a lot of water. Lol. Need to work on myself

My philosophy is simple: if you don’t want to disclose, then don’t sleep. If you plan to have sex with person, you don’t have excuses but disclose.

I know hair loss also can be from depression, anxiety, worries or lack of quality sleeping.

The 2% of transmission with medication or condoms is just an average. It is various on every single person. The first year of infection usually is higher risk. More often outbreaks means more asymptotic shedding, and more chance of transmission. According to some research, races may also effect the shedding/ transmission risk. It is said white peoples shed more than black. Of course, your overall immune system has huge impact too. I guess that’s why some people never infect their H- partners for years or life. But some get infected maybe by only one for few sext encounter.

@Jenn88 your doctor office must be really busy. But yes it’s good to talk to doctors directly. I went to planes parenthood here. Doctors including their nurses are all very caring and professional. Provide useful information and sincere comfort. Hope yours will take care of you good as well

@Jenn88 are you in USA? I don't think we don't test igM though. It says igM is misleading and igG is the one doctor cares about.

@Jenn88 I think igM means currently or in last few months, you didn't have breakout. igM antibodies come out first when your immune system is attacked by virus. They fight with virus when you don't have igG or igG is not enough. After a while, igM resign and igG increase & take over. Hope I understand correctly.

@BostonBuddy07 I'm really sorry for your story. I actually am in the same boat. My boyfriend is not talking to me either though he claimed he is just too busy and not avoiding me due to my diagnosis. But I figured that he just doesn't have the guts to be honest so play the game of fading out. I wish he could be upfront and end a relationship in a decent way. But I guess some people are really coward and disrespectful. I'm not going to lower my value one more time. So, I will just let him be and no more bother. I know someday probably in months or years he will regret and feel sorry for what he has done to me. When I am in my own relationship I am emotion loaded and can't think right. However, when I step out of it, analyze my own story, yours or other's, I can see the fact much clearly. You or many of others may not agree, but let me share what I think, so we can discuss further: It's very understandable and predictable that when we disclose, most people get scared/uncomfortable, NO MATTER THEY ADMIT OR NOT. Some run immediately. But more tend to act normal in the beginning (no one want to act rude or innocent), but in their deep heart, they do have worries and scare and they will. This afternoon I googled genital herpes pictures online, to be honest, I AM TERRIFIED TOO. I'm the one with HSV 2 and pretty accept the fact now, but the pictures from google still look disgusting and scary to me. Yes it's true that most of us won't have those symptoms or some have no symptoms at all. But those H- have no idea and don't want to believe the better possibility. They see the pictures from google and understand how bad it could be if they are infected someday. Most importantly, the theory of asymptomatic shedding probably is the most difficult part for the potential H- partner to accept. Actually it's difficult for me to accept too. It's said it's unpredictable, asymptomatic, can happen even with medicine and protection. Is that scary? I think it is, to any logical/ rational person. Yes there are other disease is more serious than herpes, such as cancer, diabetes, or other skin problems, but less people run away from their infected partners because those health problems are not contagious or not lifelong, in fact they're symptomatic or predictable so people can take actions and protect themselves well. I apologize if my words sound discouraging but this is definitely not my point. I am just sharing my thinking about the fact from the other perspective so we can feel less sadness from their rejection. Sometimes it's good/healthier to lower our expectation. Are there people willing to take the risks? I'm sure there are, MANY. But there're conditions for them accept it. I like to list what I analyze: 1) If they are truly IN LOVE WITH YOU, they most likely will accept all of you, including your hsv. (my bf is not same feeling toward me though I am in deep love with him. That is why he turned me down. But I had to disclose bc I was diagnosed when we already have relationship. In the future, I would not disclose until I'm 100% sure that person is in deep love with me, which means I won't sleep with them either. I believe this is critical. ) 2) if they are desperate to have some one, because of many reasons of their own. They might have problems to get a partners, or they are having certain kind of unknown issue maybe hsv, (hopefully not hiv) 3) they have experienced it. They have family or ever dated someone with hsv. They know the truth and understand our struggles. And they have really kind heart. 4) Irresponsible person. They don't really care because they always like taking high risks for sexual pleasures. These kind of people might tend to cheat or hook-up around. Those are definitely not what I want. 5) ... (please add...) Welcome to debate me or share your thoughts.

@Jane M thanks for the information about this first cured HIV patient. It’s really a miracle! Though I think it’s not the cure we generally talking about. Maybe that’s why scientists still refer hiv is incurable. I think you are right. Compared to those who have hiv or cancers or else, herpes is really minor. Being positive and pray the cure can come! Or at least pray for future vaccines!

@Jane M HIV is not curable though. Far from it actually. I read somewhere on internet saying vaccine for Hsv 2 is on phase 2 test. Hopefully it can get solved in next 5-10 years. Regarding your man, I think no one can tell for sure if he is negative or not unless he gets tested. But with common logical thinking, he is highly suspicious. If he could sleep with your without condom, he might have slept with many the same way. Since he has so many sex partners, he has put himself into high risks to contract STD, especially if those women also have a lot of sex partners too. And he could have contracted oral hsv 2 too, which is possible as well.

@happyman_adventurous Thank you for sharing. Your explanation is very clear. I understand that it is difficult for drugs or antibodies to kill the virus if they hide in ganglia. When scientists talk viral shedding or outbreak, it seems like the virus reduplicate themselves first then travel to the skin surface along their favorite nerve route. (Hopefully I understand correctly...) When I read about this, I was wondering why not all virus travel? Are they really so smart and keep some at "homebase" for future revival? Is that possible for some people, all virus get out of their home and get killed? or is it possible for those new infection who got instant treatment that the virus got killed before they find the ganglia first time?

@Jane M Valtrex as well as other similar medicine is stopping virus reduplicate. While your antibodies are killing existing virus and medicine stops new virus, surely the number of virus in your body reduces, hence the antibodies decreases. I think that's why doctors recommend to stop taking anti-virus medicine at least a week before you do blood test, which makes a lot of sense to me. I also think it's good that you have been taken care immediately. It is said that the early treatment can significantly reduce the outbreaks. I somewhat hope/believe It may cure some people though everywhere says it's incurable. Hope you can bring us the miracle. I personally never got any treatment since my infection which I believe it was at least 10 years ago, from my cheating boyfriend. I never head of "herpes" until this September. I started to taking medicine as soon as I got diagnosed, though I don't really need it because my symptoms are very mild and infrequent. I plan to take the medicine for a year then stop and see how it will look like.

@ Jane M Did you stop taking Valtrex for a while before you retest your igG?

How long do you think you had it? How long have you been taking valtrex? I don’t know if our immune system can clear the H virus or not. But I don’t believe it is 100% impossible. Science is based on hypothesis, specially on medical care, too many miracles happen beyond scientists’ understanding. My doctor who tested my herpes never infected her ex husband in 15 years marriage without protection or medicine, she had no symptoms. In her case, virus shedding seems not working. I am curious what will be he result if you test with western blot.

Thanks for the info. I understand the theory of asymptotic viral shedding that H+ people without outbreak have virus shedding randomly. However, I don’t feel it’s convincing that they take “most” people represent “all”. I also read some study, in face, it shows that there are some people (<20%) showing no virus shedding, at least during their study period. Here is the interesting article that I learned. https://academic.oup.com/jid/article/203/2/180/908022 Their statistics also show that the frequency of virus shedding and numbers detected are decreasing after time. It even shows that our race seems having big impact on the contagiousness as well, though they claimed that assumption is based on small samples and need further study. Yes, 80% of H+ people that unnotice their status due to mild symptoms or misdiagnosed are more likely to spread the virus. That’s understandable. But, regarding those who show absolutely zero symptoms, or who stop getting outbreaks for many years, or again who are tested negative years after first positive diagnosis, it just seems easier (and avoid the possibility of “misleading” those diagnosed) to refer to virus shedding theory or say it’s incurable, so you must get wrong positive diagnosis before. It just raises more questions to me about their hypothesis after seeing the statistics in those researches.

I recently got diagnosed and searched everywhere about herpes. And everywhere says that hsv is not curable. says that there are no direct means to detect the virus but only through testing the antibodies to prove the virus’ existence. It really confuses me because antibodies are forever for many curable deceases, which is why a lot of times healthy people inject vaccines (antibodies) to prevent infections. Why don’t they assume those who never have symptoms or recurrence are not virus carriers or get cured instead of saying the virus are still in their bodies without direct detection? Am I missing something important? Anyone has thoughts and like to explain? I just want to understand more. Thanks!

I didn’t feel really good after reading her forum either. I was wondering if she is a doctor? I saw their introduction says she is “nurse practitioner” with a “master of science degree as a nurse practitioner”? Isn’t doctor supposing to be M.D or D.O? Anyone can help to explain so I can learn? Thanks! 🙂

Maybe hsv is curable though it is quite rare??? The saying “Once positive, always positive” maybe not 100% true??

Thank you Amando Your words are very kind. I really appreciate it! Dating is hard. It is even harder with herpes. I was thinking of sending him a text message and asking if he acts distant because of my hsv 2. Because I wanted to know the truth so bad. After reading your reply, I’m now thinking maybe you are right that I should stop texting him and just wait for him coming to me when he wants. Hopefully he will. He is that kind of guy who shuts down with any confrontation or emotional situations. But he once said if I have complaints about him I should use logical and concise argument and give him time to process. And because of this, I also think maybe I should let him know that I feel very hurt and tortured while he ignores me instead of informing me what is going on. I am honestly don’t know. Maybe I will just be waiting no matter how hard it is. I pray that God will open his eyes and hearts so he could see the good qualities in me over this virus. I actually kind of believe that since I had it for so many years, the chance to infect my partner is much much less than the average. But I won’t use it to try to persuade anyone to stay with me, because it’s just my own analysis. I hope you will feel better too and find your true love for your life soon.

I think if you want to talk to your sister, you just find a quiet time and talk about it. If she is a good sister, really cares about you, she will try to help. And of course she need to learn more about it which might change her previous attitude toward herpes like most of us do. Plus, it’s a STD, it only effects people you are going to have sex with. Not your sister. If you worry your sister will have judgement, don’t tell then. It’s not that kind of desease that will have any severe side effect or life threat. I personally don’t worry about it at all. And I don’t tell any of my family about it. It is my own business. My only concern and worry is the person I am having sex with. That’s all. Hope this help.

I was just diagnosed with hsv 2 three weeks ago. But I more likely have it more than 10 years. I always have symptoms but never realize it’s herpes because it was very mild, 1-3 times a year only, and I had no idea what herpes is at all. I did a lot of research and realized it’s a virus with me forever. But I am not worrying for my heath at all because I knew what it is, not that bad at all. After a lot of thinking, I decided to take suppression treatment because I want to try my best to protect my one year boyfriend who I love deeply. He didn’t know what I was through. I terribly worry that he will leave me because of this. But I knew I would not hide from him. I waited a day so I could tell him in person. Surprisedly, he was calm (he is a calm person) and knew about herpes. He said he once dated a girl who had severe cold sore. And he was terrified that time so he did research and learned herpes. He said he was not scared now but concern for me and appreciate my honesty. I was very touched and grateful and felt blessed. I suggested him to have a test because there is still small chance he might be infected by me though he has no symptoms. He said he would. We had sex the next morning, with condom. The whole day he acted normal. However 2 days after I back home he became distant by ignoring my messages. 3 days later, Friday, I texted him and asked if he did a test. He said he made appointment next Tuesday. And he didn’t respond my last message. I thought he need space. So I didn’t bother. In the next 10 days, he didn’t send me any message. And I was very sad and depressed and struggling. I kind of have confidence that I didn’t infect him but I am still concerned. So I texted him and asked about his result. He told me he is negative. I am glad. And asked if he is still interested in going another event that we were planned a month ago. He asked me when I wanted to go. I told him coming weekend is a better time because they will close in two weeks. He said he prefers not to travel on fall weekends. So I proposed Friday or other days with question mark. He didn’t respond since. That was two days ago. I feel really sad and don’t know what to do. He is an introvert who doesn’t like to talk much and specially don’t like conversation over the phone. We haven’t seen each other in three weeks and he seems not wanting to meet. And I don’t want to keep messaging him if he doesn’t want to reply either. Maybe he already made decision but don’t know how to tell me. But I really don’t want to guess. And I don’t want to push him either. I just want to know what he thinks but don’t know how to approach him. Anyone? Please advise... I am so helpless