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Neo_Tokio

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  1. Thanks. I didn't even know about these prodrome symptoms, and I do occasionally feel pains in my legs around my hip. I thought that could have been something else entirely. Still, it's not that prevalent. But I am talking to someone that I very well might start dating, and so I'm getting extra cautious. She already knows and says it doesn't make a difference to her, but I just wanna be sure. A part of me wants to still just do it because also the anxiety and it's better to be safe than sorry, but I appreciate your input.
  2. So I haven't been dealing with outbreaks very frequently aside from the initial ones back in June/July. It's November now and just two days ago I started showing again, albeit not very bad at all. And the most I've dealt with regularly is some annoying itching but no sores until two days ago. I read that some people get this stuff treated on an episodic basis, or let it pass. Should I just hit up my doctor and ask for meds regardless and possibly start regularly taking them? I also do take meds for bipolar daily and don't know if this will really factor much here but that's what I'll see a doctor for. But you think it's just better even if outbreaks aren't as frequent?
  3. So I've been dealing with the reality of my situation for a while, and it's depressing how its made my entire love life just nonexistent. I haven't dated or had sex in months now. Almost half a year. I've always been responsible and never reckless with my encounters being an avid member of the kink community, but I still, unfortunately, came in contact with HSV 2 through a mishap even with protection. Just my luck I guess. And the frustration is indeed affecting me more and more. I know it sounds bad considering most of us probably caught this through casual sex encounters, and I'm not looking to be shamed or judged, but I've always been a pretty sexual person. It's been way too long for comfort. But I'm not the type of person that would refuse to disclose. That's wrong because I'm pretty sure this is what happened to me with someone I got to know and thought I could trust. I'm still aware the rejection for this type of stuff is higher than if it's with someone who I'd hypothetically be dating and is more emotionally invested, but I don't date for real very often and I really don't want my sex life to continue to be so barren. I've been nervous to talk about this because I get how some people would view this kind of post. Society can have a lot of weird hangups on things like sexuality and the people who embrace it. We're supposed to be ashamed of admitting that we enjoy sex and indulge in it often. Like we're degenerate whores and since we actually caught an STI, it would just reinforce this kind of judgment on us. It's exhausting. So the title speaks for itself. I've been actually putting myself out there again after actively avoiding connection because I felt so goddamn terrible about myself and the prospects have risen. If it comes to it I will obviously tell them. But is this kind of lifestyle still doable? Are some of you successful in this endeavor? Or do I just have to come to terms with the fact that my sex life will never be the same? I mean, it obviously will never be truly the same, but it feels like what was once a big aspect of my life is now going to be hopeless and I shouldn't attempt to even try. This sites motto is "it's not a dealbreaker". But let's get real, is it really one for this?
  4. I really appreciate this. I was able to talk a bit about it with one of my closest online friends, and she was reasuring me that her opinion on me didn't change in the slightest. I feel kinda bad for doubting someone like her, as I'm sure my good friends won't think what I'm thinking. Still, it's easier to say than do. I'm still seeing someone who I hate. I feel like I did something very wrong. I never considered ANY kind of silver lining, and I'm hoping I can learn to make better with the hand I've been dealt. It just feels like such a long, uphill battle for me. I stopped doing things I enjoy and even stopped working on my novel. But you gave me some stuff to think about. Thanks.
  5. I've only been able to talk about it a bit with one of my closest friends online. But it is the reality of the situation, so eventually I'll have to come to terms with it and adapt. Thanks for the response though.
  6. So, it's my reality. I've recently officially tested positive with HSV 2 and I don't really know how to process it all. Kinda saw it coming. I used protection, and she didn't disclose or didn't know (I don't know what to think) but there was a mishap and I apparently got in contact with the virus somehow a couple months ago. I feel this all happened at the worst time too. I'm not gonna be filling this up with my life story or anything, but just when things were going somewhere with me, it feels life was there to remind not to feel better. Starting going through a very stressful rough patch and this was icing on the crap cake. I kinda avoided hooking up and dating for quite sometime due to no motivation and whatnot, and when I finally take back the plunge, this is what I got to show for it. I'm also diagnosed with things such as bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, etc. drawing the short straw in mental health in my family apparently, so despite the tone of this post, I really am struggling to keep myself grounded and gaining a decent perspective. I'm aware this is usually the case for a lot of people looking around. Feeling gross. Feeling practically subhuman. But I'm too ashamed to discuss this with anyone around me yet in person. I can't bring mysekf to even talk to some kind of professional yet. But I guess I need some kind of more direct contact to talk about this with, or anyone who can just give me some kind of advice. I've gotten good at hiding my issues so no one suspects much of anything, but I'm practically internally screaming all the time. And when I'm alone, I find myself just focused on so much of this bad. I'm crying alot. Maybe I'm being overdramatic, but it's not easy to calm my mind. I know I'm not alone, but I can't seem to stop feeling alone. I even actively distanced myself from potential relationship prospects and friends in subtle ways due to me feeling so inferior or something nowadays. Spending unhealthy amounts of time locked in my room. Only with my dog who's the only one apparently aware something is wrong with me and making me very sad. Again, maybe I'm being overdramatic or this is being extreme and I apollgize if I look silly because I don't really like feeling like I'm trying to seek some pity party, but I just need some kind of advice. Some kind of direct contact to help me get a bit more content with an unfortunate circumstance. So I can start figuring this stuff out better. Even though there's steps to take in the right direction, my mind feels like it doesn't know the direction and feeling just lost. How did you deal? What is this deal?
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