Redfaith417

Maybe this is a really big sign that you should set your sights higher! I totally agree there are worse things to be than herpes positive. I like older men and my parents said my love interest will be in a nursing home when I'm 60.. and muy response? There are worse things to be than old.

It sounds like despite your mistake, you have a good heart and head on your shoulders. Have a talk. Make a decision. Become closer or separate.

I have purchased Herdox. I just wanted something natural. It's a blend specifically for herpes and I'm glad it has the clear shell and powder inside, makes me feel like it will be well absorbed. Also Mediterranean oregano oil. I made a salve and I've just been rubbing it into my spine.

I know many posted responses and I'm sick and tired right now (not because of h lol) but wanted to show my support as well. I took it way better than you are for a number of reasons I won't get into.. I just want you to at least stop beating yourself up about this like it's your fault. You said at least cancer gets innocent people... H gets alot of innocent people too.. lots of virgins, people who used protections. Many of us were victimized by someone... my "gift giver", in response to telling him I think I have an STD , said "I won't be mad if you gave me one"! I was like are you furrking kidding me, I've been in love with you a year and haven't had sex with anyone else. He is scum. Anyway.. you have so much about yourself to be proud of... and as long as I don't put anyone in danger like he did to me, I'm proud of who I am.. H and all. You'll free happy to hear that I and doctors didn't know what it was for 3 years because it was so mild. It is really hardly a thing in my life... I'm not going to wear it like a badge.. I think I'm worth it. I would just presume everything as normal until sex is an option and then I feel confident, if I got that far id be pretty comfortable with the right man. I've been through so kuch worse than h... I was impregnated by a boyfriend and completely abandoned by him and my family. I deserve a protector, someone I can count on.. so I'm feeling like if he can't handle a little thing like h, he's not strong enough for me. Shit happens, life happens and I'm strong as he'll and a good partner. America handles sex and h so haphazardly, I feel like we were majorly let down by the medical industry and culture as well.. again, not my fault. Could have happened to virtually anyone and does. I told my best friend when I found out, it makes me so sad anyone would end their life over it... and then just a week later my cousin was posting suicidal things on Facebook. Even though the last I knew she was a virgin, I just knew she was diagnosed with h... and i was able to turn it around for her in one phone conversation. That makes it worth it honestly.

You are hell bent on justifying it. My post is not irrational or condemning you to any degree beyond reason, forcing people like yourself out of forms or anything like that. It is reality. To match your own attitude of 'you pay to play', engaging in sex is your own fault if you catch something from someone who knew but didn't give you the choice, if you want to post about not disclosing on a living with h forum - expect that you're going to be met with 95%+ chance of people trying to get you to see as it really is. It is not fair. It is not fair that we contracted herpes... the stigma isn't fair... having to disclose it for a number of reasons is not fair... but it's still the right thing to do. Between 2 people it's the right thing to do, between a group on a forum it's the right thing to do. Sorry there is no other way to chop it. You want to do what's best for you... but the thing about relationships is.. they aren't about you.. they aren't for you to just fit inside your life, your rules, your ideals.. it's an entire other being that you will try to melt your life with. I wouldn't want to be with someone who couldn't be more mature about something so minor (in the context of herpes vs. Your entire life, 80+ years it's minor). Can't you simply date until she's in love with you? At that point, I'd probably fall more in love with you if I knew... and if I didn't and I found out by other means, I'd leave you... because to me, it's probably a sign of greater betrayals to come.. to your credit, I know very well how small town people think. It's unfortunate you aren't seeing an opportunity to be better than that. I'm not concerned though, it will all come out in the wash. It will unfold naturally however it will. You aren't right, but that doesn't mean your idea couldn't work out well.. so good luck. I am not your judge, you know?

You are demonizing yourself here... you didn't do anything wrong. You told him you were clean because you thought you were, right? Doctors don't test for herpes workout specifically being asked... did you tell him you tested for it but not? If so, you were wrong but as wrong as most of the population. Don't give up on your relationship and have the talk with him.. if you can't have this conversation with someone who loves loves loves you then who can you have it with? It probably won't fair well if you come to the convo with this attitude... you'll have to put on some optimism.. empathy.. and come informed. Remember the last time you came to him with something that was shaking your world? Come to him that same way this time? And if you can't recall a time you did and don't think you could, then maybe he's just not right for you anyway? Good luck

We would all love to hide our statuses..i don't think the majority of us want to live openly with it.. I hate all the arguments about why one side wants to disclose (because THEY were lied to) and the other doesn't (because their scared, dating pool is small). There is right and there is wrong. The line in the sand is clear. There is no justification for non disclosure.. to me it is an offense like rape.. and rape cases have been just like that - if they slept with you under the impression you knew you were clear of herpes and then were not. Do you want to be with someone that closed minded? As those in your town are? And from the other perspective, you don't deserve a committed partner who prioritizes you after having risked this... I'm so disappointed that people consider not disclosing like this and take it this far like it's a game. It really shows a lack of maturity and social responsibility. I'm proud that most agree it is only right to disclose even though the government clearly doesn't care about this virus spreading all over the map. That tells me that the state of the world is kinda ok. People are doing the right thing when no one is babysitting them. This is serious, move out of your city! Coming from a girl who moved from the Midwest to las Vegas. Business is good here!

Ppl get angry and make poor choices and kill people.. as highly sexual beings, for reproduction and intimacy, hurting someone sexually should be one of the highest crimes.

Talking to her will not get you or the herpes world anywhere... don't people get that?

Oregon... I am so with you. I think the lawsuit would give herpes the attention it deserves and people should be punished for knowing better and not disclosing. Were punished for changing people's lives for the worst in other ways... it would be unfortunate and maybe unfairly heavy for her in the context that most ppl skate by without accountability and that's what everyone is arguing for.. I can't believe they feel sorry for these selfish WIMPS... but the case would maybe get the ball rolling on implementing adequate education, prevention, and after care. This herpes culture we're perpetuating is bullsheet.

You sound amazing and I wish I could have you for myself. She sounds like a peace of work... strike one) she knew she had herpes and didn't tell you. People feel for and defend her position because they have done that to someone. I would not do that to someone. Would you? To me, this isn't just herpes.. it's a sign of what's to come in your relationship when things are hard. Strike 2) minimizing your feelings of resentment and being neglected to be told. How. Dare. She. I feel she's taken advantage of your good heart since the beginning of this relationship. You are right, you don't deserve her. You deserve better than her. My having hsv2 made me glad I wouldn't date selfish jerks anymore... I would have left immediately and I did several years ago. A started falling for a guy who had genital warts, we slept together briefly one time and some time later he told me and I let him have it! I would never efffiinngg do that to someone. I'm not a piece of garbage for having gotten herpes but I think not disclosing would make me a piece of garbage. Sorry I'm so harsh to all who have taken it upon themselves to make the decision for someone else but I have been on several sides of this coin and right is right. If you weren't such an upstanding guy, you'd probably find it easier to forgive her.. but clearly you're a better person and struggling with that. Again, I'm sorry for being harsh. The worst isn't done... people think the worst is risking transmission, not disclosing, but I'm telling you all this from the bottom of my heart because the worst would be to be with someone who regularly risks your health and well being for their own agenda. I've been there... and id rather have h and be alone, hoping someone will look past it and see how great a life long partner I could be. Good luck

Omgoodness.. I just posted a really long comment in response and it posted to another thread 😞

Wow this is so amazing!! Seriously you're my hero

She's probably asking because if he also has it... then you can have oral and sex all you want and transmission to foreign areas will be low.

I wish you felt better ♡ you sound great, intelligent.. I think I'd feel the same way if my symptoms were worse and I knew what this was earlier but I have dealt with very mild symptoms for 3 years before officially being diagnosed. I'm a writer too! And a mom haha so finding out I don't have HSV1 made me super happy I wasn't passing it to my kid with all the affection I give him. I laughed that you said sub human.i feel like a super human.. and that's hard to describe but knowing I have herpes 2 makes me feel like I'm the one who needs protecting! 80% of hsv2 carriers don't know so what else do they have? Since we are now more at risk of contracting other stuff. I'm a female so I look at it this way.. if I like a guy, I can tell him.. he can move on... and have a 16% chance of having sex with someone with hsv2 who doesn't know it. The only way to protect himself is to ask her to test for it because likely she hasn't. Or he can proceed getting to know me, cause I'm great, and he'll have a 4% chance or less of contracting it from me but I will protect him and he a greater partner in alot of ways because of this virus. I'm enjoying the fact that I'll never be with another shithead that doesn't care about me, buying cute comfortable cotton underwear and taking care of myself. I ordered a natural supplement to boost my immune system and I'm decorating the jar I put them in like they are super hero pills.. and made oregano oil salve to put on my spine. I only OB like twice a year, but i wanted to make sure I had all the support here at home. I really liked a ted talk a girl with genital hsv1 gave.. watch that when you need reminding that you are the same cool mofo you were.. much love xoxo

Thank you for sharing

Hello everyone, I was just diagnosed today with hsv2... I think I've had it for 3 years because that was the first time I noticed the "cut", the one cut I ever experience as an outbreak. I feel fortunate my Symptoms have always been so mild... I finally had insurance and decided to find out why this continued to show up in the same place. I even went through a pregnancy where I was tested for every damn thing but this. I feel the medical industry and our sex education failed us. I do not blame myself... I am super grateful I developed such a healthy self esteem these past years because I imagine id be a big mess if I found out another time. Having had it 3 years, the official diagnosis is being taken well because I know what I'm dealing with. I already felt id need a special person you see me for me and that has not changed. I think I'm worth a hell of alot 🙂 and I'll be someone's princess one day. I don't know how it will happen, I'm not ready to think about or imagine it.. but for now, id really like a male h buddy.. some one I would consider dating, you know, to feel the companionship I already missed before I had this diagnosis. I'm 28, a single mom of a 3year old, in marketing and very ambitious. I'm quite spiritual and arrays wondered if it was important to also have that in a partner and i think yes, it probably is. Life is much bigger than this diagnosis. I live in Las Vegas where I see cars on fire driving to work.. and home from work. there are so much worse circumstances to be in. I am so impressed by the h community.. seriously, hats off to you for being a part of it because if you're not already amazing, you're probably well on your way. I've not seen a more funny, responsible, caring and HEALTHIER group of people. I already told my 2 best friends and 1 said 'I think this will be a blessing for you'. Who knows? But I will be spreading positivity and uplifting messages here. Do not blame yourself. Everything about this virus and the culture we live in makes this not your fault, but we have a unique responsibility now and lots of new friends. I hope to hear from you