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WingingIt

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Everything posted by WingingIt

  1. Hi, Grace: I've been diagnosed for almost 7 years. My symptoms have gotten worse since having my first child. My outbreaks are VERY closely related to my stress level. I asked my doctor and she said we would change from taking antivirals as needed to taking them daily as a preventative. I DONT take them daily for a few reasons. 1. The price. The prescription wouldn't break my bank, but as a single mother I really have to watch my monthly spending and I just don't have it in the budget to buy the script every month. 2. I'm not currently sexually active so I don't NEED to take them every day. This being said, my outbreaks are getting more frequent AND they have started to spread to other locations on my body. I'm struggling to find productive ways to handle my stress, but it's difficult. As I mentioned, I'm a single mother with a toddler, a full time job, and an etsy business on the side. I also suffer from undiagnosed PTSD caused by the sudden traumatic death of my boyfriend several years ago. It's a perfect storm for my HSV2. I can't say that taking the antivirals daily would help or not, because I haven't really tried to maintain that. I don't experience symptoms with my outbreaks other than the nerve pain that generally precedes my outbreaks, so I can't really offer you advice on handling your symptoms specifically, but like you... I thought this was supposed to get BETTER over time.
  2. Wait wait wait...... Let me get this straight. You are pretty sure he's the one who infected you. He denies having it. Yet he harasses you anytime someone tells him that you've mentioned his name? This guy is classy! I love how he is the one messaging you, making threats (not really threats, but still...) and then when you are like... Do you want to discuss this? He' acts offended that you are even responding to HIS TEXT. Block this narcissistic sleaze immediately! It's YOUR story and you can say whatever you want to your friends.
  3. Not that I'm trying to freak you out.... just being honest.
  4. In my personal experience, that nerve pain means I'm shedding the virus. These days, I just take my antivirals but before I was medicated, that nerve pain almost always resulted in an outbreak.
  5. Maybe he already knows he has HSV1 and his story about the dentist was his way of disclosing without really disclosing. That's why he doesn't care to test... because he knows he will be positive for at least HSV1. IF this is the case, there probably was no recent negative test. I'm not sure why anyone would tell a new interest (one they are trying to sleep with) that a dentist said they MIGHT have herpes if they'd just tested negative. I feel like that'd be counterproductive. It's also possible that he just THINKS he tested negative for "everything" and he wasn't actually tested for herpes at all. Prior to being diagnosed, I asked for a panel and they never actually tested for herpes until I specifically requested it. Or, he's scared and just doesn't want to know the truth... hence refusing to test. On another note... I believe that typically, they say to wait 12 weeks after intercourse for the most conclusive results.
  6. Please know that I was not trying to be judgmental in my comment. I was just sharing my feelings on the topic. Disclosure is something we ALL have/are struggling with. I've thought about it a lot as I have friends that disclose and friends that don't and have seen this from several sides. I have chosen to disclose. Sometimes it goes well and sometimes it does not. I'd just personally rather not have that guilt on my conscience.
  7. This is why so many people have HSV and don't even know it. It's because those of us that DO know we have it are too afraid to disclose. I think it's really ironic how many people are angry about getting HSV after someone didn't disclose to them and then turn around and decide NOT to disclose. To respond to the topic, though... I have a friend recently diagnosed with HSV1 and her doctor literally said to her, "So don't tell anyone if you don't want to. It's not like you have HIV." 😮
  8. Unlucky: I feel your pain. I'm the same age and single. The few times I've attempted to date, I've chosen to disclose. Here's why: I do not know who I contracted my HSV2 from. I asked the men I'd been with in recent years, and they all claim to be clean. It's hard enough to accept that I have this virus for the rest of my life, let alone have no one to blame but myself. I can't imagine knowingly putting someone else in that position. What if you decide not to disclose and a strong relationship builds? Let's say it's 2 years into this relationship and your partner finds your meds. How do you explain that? What happens if your partner runs out of patience for your excuses to avoid sexual contact during outbreaks? Worse: What happens if your partner has an outbreak? I can just see someone I love accusing me of cheating on them. My options would be to play dumb and LIE MY ASS OFF or admit that I'd been lying to them about it the whole time? That's a great way to ruin a relationship and end up alone anyway. I know fear of rejection is a huge obstacle... Especially for those of us who don't have the best self confidence. As you know, the reality of HSV isn't THAT disruptive to life, but the stigma attached to it is "dirty". I do not live in a small community like you, but the more I opened up to friends about my diagnosis, I find a surprising number of people respond with, "Oh, I have it, too." Reading the statistics, MOST people have it and they don't even know it. I've only disclosed a few times because I don't date much. Sometimes it went well, and sometimes it didn't. One person that rejected me was someone I'd already been sleeping with off and on for a few years. Actually, I had my first outbreak while I was exclusively sleeping with this man, but I wasn't diagnosed until a year later (denial.) When I did get diagnosed, I told him about it even though I had another boyfriend at the time... because he was my # 1 suspect regarding where I'd gotten it from. He claimed to be clean. When I wanted to reconnect with him later, he claimed to be terrified of getting herpes from me. I pointed out that we'd slept together off and on for years and he was still testing negative. Also the boyfriend of 3 years I had after him never contracted it either. Clearly, I would do what I could to protect him. He eventually gave in but after we were together he had this "herpes scare" (turned out negative) but he won't engage with me again. He's too scared. It still hurts me because I had lots of the feels for him, but... his loss (because I am awesome.) The other couple men that I disclosed to... DID. NOT. CARE. They slept with me anyway. It's been like a year now since I've tried to date, but its more because of my young child taking up all my time and not because I'm afraid to disclose. I'll leave you with this thought. You said if you had known that 22 year old had herpes you probably wouldn't have slept with her. I get it. I probably wouldn't have slept with whoever gave it to me had I known. So with that in mind.... how can you even consider doing the same thing to someone else? Give them the choice. I know you are afraid of being lonely, but wouldn't you rather someone be with you because they actually love you for ALL of your flaws and not just because you lied? You don't have to tell EVERYONE. Just the ones you actually end up liking enough to sleep with. And so what if they spread rumors? You could just deny them. At least in this case, your lie won't put another person's health at risk. Pretend you told them you had herpes just to get rid of them. Or, you could just own it. "That's right. I'm a morally responsible person who discloses."
  9. Nik, in my experience, the first couple outbreaks can be vicious. Usually the first ones are the worst ones. The longest I've ever had to wait for it to heal was probably about 10 days and that was probably before I had medication so you should get relief soon. I definitely recommend tea tree oil. It really seems to help speed up the process, but ONLY on external lesions. DO NOT get it in your lady parts. It's not comfortable!
  10. Just seems strange that I've been diagnosed for like 7 years before having outbreaks on my face. My lymph nodes on that side are painfully swollen, too. My outbreaks are VERY closely related to my stress level which is almost always SKY HIGH. I'm not married. I met the father of my son AFTER I started having outbreaks so I know I didn't get it from him... He's never been tested, but he's never had any symptoms. We've been apart for 3.5 years now and as a single mother with a full time job, I don't really date (no time for that) so it's not like I could have picked up another strain from someone.
  11. Hi! I'll try to keep this long story on the short side.I'm a 35 year old single woman. I was officially diagnosed with HSV 2 about 6.5 years ago, but I was having outbreaks for about a year before that. I was in denial about what was happening. At the time, I had a stubborn case of HPV (obtained from an unknown source when I was around 24 years old.) My labs showed that I was dangerously close to cervical cancer. Where most cases of HPV clear on their own within 2 years, mine persisted through LEEP surgery and several years of abnormal paps. When I had my first herpes outbreak, I was convinced it was just symptoms of my HPV so I did not go to the doctor, but I had several outbreaks. My diagnosis came later. I was at my gynecologist for a routine visit when the doctor asked, "Do you have herpes?" "Not that I'm aware of," I responded. She'd noticed the scabs of my most recent outbreak which was clearing. I asked to be tested and came back positive for HSV 2. Great. Now I'm the girl who has gotten not one, but TWO STIs ?!?! NOT great for the self-esteem. I had relatively new boyfriend and I had to go home and explain to him that I've had herpes the whole time we've been dating without knowing it. He took it surprisingly well and we had a 3 year relationship and he never contracted it. During our relationship, I became pregnant and I did hours of research on pregnancy and herpes. Everything went smoothly and my son is fine. I actually had significantly less (if any) outbreaks while I was pregnant but immediately following the birth of my son my outbreaks returned with a vengeance. My outbreaks are very closely related to my stress level and being a new, single mom with a full time job is VERY stressful. My outbreaks even spread to new areas of my groin. Then about 5 months ago, I was sitting on the floor with my toddler on my lap. He pulled one of those maneuvers where he flung his head back and I caught his hard skull right in the mouth. The next day, I noticed my swollen lip had broken out with herpes on the exact spot that experienced the trauma. I panicked! Do I have HSV1 also? Has my HSV2 somehow spread to my face? WTF is going on here? It was a bad outbreak, being that it was the first one in that location and eventually tea tree oil was the only thing that got rid of it. Cut to today, and what I thought was a bug bite on my forehead just above my eyebrow now looks to me like cold sores! Interestingly enough, the lymph nodes in my jaw on the same side are swollen. I did some research to confirm that you CAN in fact get a herpes outbreak on your forehead and that initial outbreaks often coincide with swollen glands! I thought herpes outbreaks got less frequent as time passes. I've heard so many stories about people who get one or two outbreaks and then never experience them again, yet mine are getting worse and are spreading to other areas of my body! Any other "veterans" around here that are experiencing anything similar?
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