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100918 last won the day on May 9

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  1. I've never used Femara, but I went through IVF 3 times and never had any issues with anything except for the vaginal progesterone suppositories. They didn't make me have an OB (I actually didn't even know I had H until after I was done having babies), but that shit is nasty and caused a raging yeast infection every time I used it. So, if you ever do have to go the route of IVF (I hope you don't!), opt for all PIO shots...I prefer the shots any day over the progesterone suppositories.
  2. When I was first diagnosed (by blood test, no symptoms), I disclosed to a guy I had just started dating. He initially fully rejected me, but then he changed his mind and decided he wanted to be with me. I then rejected him, but we stayed friends. However, over the couple months that followed, he continued to flirt and make comments about wanting to be with me. I was toying with the idea as more of a FWB thing (even though I have never wanted to be a FWB), but then met my boyfriend that I have now. He fully accepted me and we have an insane connection. The first guy is now completely butt-hurt that I am with someone else and that he lost out. I have come to learn that men really respond to the idea of losing someone they really care for. If this guy knows that you will walk away, even though you really like him, he may re-evaluate how he feels about everything and decide that he is willing to take whatever risk there is, with appropriate precautions. I am NOT suggesting you try to manipulate him into being intimate with you. I am saying that you need to be willing to walk away from someone who is not meeting your needs and standards. If you walk away in a loving way (for example, "I really like you and I see a lot of potential in us, but I am not looking for a platonic relationship. I don't want to hold you back either, so I think it's best that we go our ways. If you decide that you want more with me, I can't promise that I will be waiting for you, but please know that I care about you and want the best for you"), he may decide that he doesn't want to lose you and that he does want to take that next step with you. And then it is up to you as to whether you give the relationship a second chance. I have done this once, but not regarding H. It was a different circumstance, but I walked away all the same. I told him that I wanted the best for him and for him to be happy, and that I couldn't promise I would be here waiting if he decided that we really were that great together. He took less than a day to think about what I said before reaching out and telling me that he didn't want to lose me. All that to say, do not settle for less than you deserve. If he is not meeting your standard, then he's not right for you.
  3. The OP clearly said that she told him that she has cold sores and that cold sores are also herpes...and that she has them on her genitals. Where exactly is the lie? I acknowledged that she was less than forthcoming, but she did not LIE where I can see. And you'll also see that I did advise her to talk to him and clarify to make sure he fully understands. Hows about you get off your high horse? I am VERY educated about it. However, the OP did not lie. Yes, she downplayed it. But she did not lie. And she can remedy that by having a conversation...which I did recommend.
  4. I'm not exactly sure where you lied. He asked if you have HSV2, which you don't. You told him that you have HSV1, but genitally. He said it was fine. Am I missing something? I totally get that you feel like you may have been less than forthcoming, which is something you can remedy. I'm just not sure that you lied, based on what you said. If you feel like you may have somehow misled him, then you can always bring that up in conversation next time you see him. Just let him know that you wanted to make sure that he fully understood what you were telling him and clarify it for him. My boyfriend knows that I have HSV2 (asymptomatic, but still), and he does not care even a little bit about it. If this guy has feelings for you, he won't be spooked by you clarifying things when you're sober.
  5. I met my boyfriend after being diagnosed by blood test. He is negative and we have an amazing sex life. For him, he knows the potential risk and he is not worried about it, so we carry on as normal. Honestly, my sex life is better than it's ever been... For me, the answer to how I have a satisfying sex life is because my partner and I trust each other completely, so we have a great relationship, which then leads to amazing sex and sexual connection. I really think that's the case whether you're positive for HSV or not.
  6. If your partner is also positive, then there is no reason to not have sex, as long as you are not in any discomfort.
  7. If this is a long-distance thing, especially if he is the one traveling to you, I think you owe it to him to have that conversation before he travels. IF it's a dealbreaker to him, then better to tell him beforehand vs him being in your location and 'stuck', for lack of a better word.
  8. Those are not friends. Let yourself fade out of that 'friendship group' and find yourself some real friends.
  9. I'm not the person you posted this to (regarding having lots of oral sex and everything is fine), but I can answer for the experience of me and my boyfriend. We also have a lot of oral sex and everything has been just fine for us as well. It's been just over 3 months that we've been sleeping together. I am positive for HSV2, he is negative. He is still negative. I do not take any meds and we do not use condoms at all anymore (I cannot get pregnant) - never used condoms for oral.
  10. 100918


    There is no cure. I am all about the herbal/holistic/non-traditional approach to just about everything in my life. But I have yet to come across anything that actually works to CURE HSV. It just doesn't exist. There are a lot of things you can do to treat an outbreak, or prevent one, but the virus will not go away and you can still shed.
  11. False positive rate with the HerpeSelect test is 52%, according to the woman I spoke with at the UofW, where they do the Western Blot.
  12. You will not be alone for the rest of your life. However, it is also a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you convince yourself that you are going to be alone, you will prevent yourself from putting yourself out there and being open to a relationship. When I was first diagnosed, I was afraid that no one would accept me. And then I had to basically slap myself and remind myself that I was the same person that I was before and that I was worthy of love. And I put myself out there. 13 days after I did that, I met an amazing man who accepted me without any reservations. We are still together and he is still amazing. A lot of what happens in our lives is dictated by our attitudes toward what we feel should happen/what we deserve. Once you change your mindset, I think you're going to see that there are good men out there who will want to be with you, and your HSV status will be nothing to them.
  13. If you haven't had any OBs yet, were you confirmed to have it through a blood test, I assume? That is how I was diagnosed last October. Since I hadn't had any partners in over 10 years at that point, I knew that I had to have had it for a long time. I had spent the entire 10 years cuddling with my child, sharing straws with him, etc. So to think that I would now suddenly be this walking disease spreading machine was just plain silly. Nothing has changed. I still cuddle with my child. If he wants a sip of my drink, he gets one. Going crazy about whether or not you gave it to your partner or if your partner gave it to you is not going to help anything. What is past is past. The good thing about HSV is that once you have an established infection, you cannot spread it to other parts of your body afterward. So, if you have genital HSV2, for example, you can't now spread it to your mouth. The virus has made its home and will not spread more within your own body. It sounds like you have a partner from your post. Even if you don't currently have a partner, you are worthy of love. HSV does not define you. YOU define you...don't let this be the one thing that you focus on as your identity. When I was diagnosed, I was just getting back into the dating world. 3 months after being diagnosed, I met an amazing man who does not give a shit about my HSV diagnosis. He is negative. He still is negative. I also have not had any OBs since finding out I am positive. Have never had an OB that I'm aware of in the over 10 years that I have had this. Your life is NOT over. Please, allow yourself time to be upset about the diagnosis...but then, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and remember that you were who you are before you learned your diagnosis. NOTHING has changed about you since. You are still the same person.
  14. I agree that you two need to have some time not talking for him to mull it over. Right now, he doesn't have to make a decision because you are still right there. Let him know that you think he needs some time to decide what he wants, and that you fully support that. And that you hope he can come to a decision soon because you deserve someone who wants you for who you are...all of you. And that you hope you're still there when he makes up his mind. And then stop contacting him. Let him see what it would be like to NOT have you in his life. I did this with my boyfriend once, about something different, but same end result...I told him that he needed to figure out what he wanted and that I couldn't promise him I would be here waiting for him if he did decide that we were that good together. Then I told him that I truly wanted the best for him and that I wanted him to be happy. I essentially broke up with him. That lasted 17 hours and he realized that he didn't want to lose me and contacted me. We had a good talk and we've been together since. Sometimes, when people are refusing to make a decision, you need to make it for them in order for them to wake up and realize that if they don't act, they will lose out on someone great.
  15. I've told 4. My sister, a longtime friend, the guy I was seeing at the time (initially rejected me, then changed his mind and I rejected him), and my current boyfriend. I have no intention of ever telling my mother because if I do, I may as well just put it as my Facebook status update. She's a gossip to the nth degree and will not be able to keep it to herself. This, of course, does not count the medical professionals who know. Just my personal life.
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