Jump to content


  • Posts

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


Everything posted by 100918

  1. It's possible that he could test positive in the future. But as of now, he has not gotten it from me...and we take zero precautions at this point.
  2. Asymptomatic means that the test will be positive but they have no symptoms. Meaning they are a carrier and can still potentially spread it without knowing they even have it (if they're not tested). I am asymptomatic. I only found out I had it because I asked for an STD panel at my OBGYN office and they happened to include HSV. I have been in a relationship with my HSV-negative SO for nearly 2 years now. He knows I am positive, knows the potential risks, and we carry on. He is still negative, and I am still asymptomatic. A negative test means that either you 1. Do not have it. or 2. You were exposed but not enough time has passed to come back positive on the test.
  3. Hi Joel, I want to be sure I'm clear. She was Exposed to HSV-2. She hasn't had an outbreak, and she hasn't tested positive. So why are you operating on an assumption that she's positive? If she was exposed and has had zero symptoms in the window after exposure, then the assumption would be that she didn't get it from the guy she slept with. And using protection is always a good idea no matter what, especially in a new relationship. Also, if she's your girlfriend (?), then why would she still be having sex with the guy who has tested positive? If she's with him, and willing to take the risk, then cool...but if she's supposed to be with you, why would she be having sex with someone that she's not with, especially knowing that he has it, she could be exposed, and wants to be with you? If you aren't sure if she is or not, then that tells me that you probably already have some trust issues and I would recommend breaking off whatever the relationship is. I tested HSV-2 positive almost 2 years ago. I did not go on any meds for it. I've been with my SO for almost 2 years now. He and I met a few months after I got my positive test. He has known about it since our very first date. He loves me for me and is not afraid of the potential to get HSV from me. After almost 2 years, he is still negative. Your situation honestly sounds much more complicated than just the fact that she may have been exposed. It sounds like she continues to sleep with the guy who exposed her. I guess I'm just not sure why you would want to be with a woman who is having sex with other people...no matter if she has HSV or not. I would honestly let this girl go and find someone who will be only with you. And if you don't want to have sex with this particular girl again until she's on meds, and she refuses (assuming she ends up being positive), then you already know you should let this one go.
  4. When I was first diagnosed (via blood test, I've never had an OB that I'm aware of in over 11 years), I told the guy that I was talking to...we'd had 1 date at that point and happened to have been texting when I found out the results. He immediately rejected me. I was upset. And then I took a few months to just be, and then decided to get back out there...and met my SO. I disclosed to him on our first date and he immediately Accepted me. We've been together about a year and a half now and things are still great! A couple months after my SO and I started dating, the first guy decided that he screwed up and wished he hadn't rejected me. Too bad for him. His loss...and honestly, his rejection was the best thing that could have happened to me. If he hadn't rejected me, I wouldn't have taken the time to reflect on me, to decide that I deserved better than that, and to raise my standards. Yes, I RAISED my standards! And then I met my amazing SO. If I was still messing with that first guy, I never would have met the love of my life. So, get back out there, continue to be honest. You will meet someone amazing who won't be put off by HSV...someone who will love you for YOU and won't care about anything else.
  5. It's VERY possible that you got HPV from the vaccine itself and no one else gave it to you. There have been girls who have been diagnosed with HPV but were virgins and had never had any type of sexual interactions before...young girls who were clearly not sexually active. But they had the vaccine. Please don't beat yourself up. I don't have the exact percentage, but if I recall correctly, something like over 95% of HPV cases resolve themselves eventually.
  6. Adding to mr_hopp said, I have been in a relationship with my SO for almost a year and a half. We no longer use protection (I cannot get pregnant so no risk of that and we made the decision to stop using protection) and my SO is still negative. I also do not take any sort of antiviral. I do not recommend that you have any unprotected sex unless you are in a committed relationship and you and your partner have discussed not using protection. I was blindsided by my diagnosis (via blood test only, never had an OB that I can recall) and never had the opportunity to accept the risks. But, I disclosed (before sex!) and my SO accepted me openly and it has NEVER been an issue. Honestly, aside from the day I disclosed and a brief mention the next morning, it has never even been a discussion since. We do not let it rule our lives/relationship. But, I know that IF my SO does get it from me, he will let me know and we will continue on in our relationship. He won't be blindsided like I was because he went into our relationship with his eyes wide open. Give yourself time. And remember that you are the same badass that you were before the diagnosis and that you are worthy of love and companionship. And trust me...you WILL have great sex again. 😉
  7. I get waxed every month and never have an issue either. 🙂
  8. I am HSV2+ and I met my SO on a dating app. We talked for about 2 weeks before we met. I told him on our first date. I wanted him to meet me in person before I decided if I thought he had potential and was worth telling, even though based on our phone conversations, I pretty much already knew he was worth it. I was terrified, but he immediately accepted me, told me that it was nothing, and we have been together for almost a year and a half now.
  9. The blisters in your throat were most likely not HSV1. You probably had thrush or some sort of infection like strep, if I had to guess (not a doctor, obviously). If you had HSV1 growing up, you would probably have had the mouth blisters that so many people do. HSV1 is so ridiculously common that it's hardly given a second thought by a lot of people. The HSV2 number is pretty low. I would probably have the Western Blot to get a definitive answer. They will be able to give you the definite answer for both 1 and 2 so that you know without a doubt. I'd be willing to be that you are either really negative for HSV2 or that your infection is still pretty new and your numbers will continue to climb.
  10. Have you considered Hidradenitis Suppurativa? "Hidradenitis suppurativa often shows up in skin folds, such as the: Underarms Breasts Groin Buttocks Stomach Nape of the neck Backs of the ears Sometimes HS can appear on your face or back. The bumps heal and then come back."
  11. From October until now is plenty of time for antibodies to be present. I would trust the negative result. No need to retest, IMO.
  12. Good luck and let us know how it turns out! I ordered the Western Blot kit back when I got my blood test diagnosis back at the end of 2018. My index value was higher, but I've never had an outbreak so I was thinking of getting tested with Western Blot. But then I met my SO, and since I had not done the test yet, I went with assumption that the positive was an actual positive and disclosed. He accepted me exactly as I am and does not have any worry about HSV at all. So, I never got the test done. We've been together now for almost 16 months and things are great and I have no intention of getting the Western Blot done because it won't change anything. I am, however, hopeful for you that your positive was a false one...if it is, please make sure to have the discussion with any future potential partners and make sure you both get tested before having sex (even if you know you're negative, I think it's a good idea for you to both go in for a test if you both believe you're negative. Kinda like a "I'm making you prove it so I will happily prove it as well" type of thing). And if you have a partner who discloses to you that he does have it, you will be better prepared to keep yourself safe, and hopefully not reject that person just as you would not want to be rejected because of it.
  13. It is very possible that he doesn't know he has it. I had it for at least 11 years without knowing. I never had an outbreak. I was completely celibate for 11 years and only found out I was positive when I went in for routine STD testing before starting a new sexual relationship and they ran a HSV test as part of it and it was positive.
  14. I told my SO right away in our relationship because for me, that was the right time. Of course, we were also about to have sex and I needed to tell him before that happened. It was not an option not to tell him. I was TERRIFIED. I had played the scenario in my head so many times with so many different endings. In some of my imagined scenarios, he freaked out and broke up with me. In others, he was accepting. In all of them, I explained to him that I was asymptomatic, yadda, yadda...had this entire script in my head of what I would tell him. In reality, it went like this: Me: I need to tell you something before we go any further Him: What is it? You didn't use to be a dude, right? Me: No. I've always been a girl. (way for him to add some levity and to break the tension, though!) Him: Okay, so what is it? Me: *blurts out that I have HSV but that I have never had an outbreak that I'm aware of, I only know about it because of a recent blood test* Him (interrupts me): You said HSV, not HIV, right? Me: Yes. HSV. Him: Oh, so it's just Herpes. Is that all? Me: Yes. Him: Okay, that's nothing. Can we continue? And that was IT. We have been together for over a year, he is still negative, and things are going great. We never talk about Herpes. It has no importance in our lives. He knows, he doesn't care about it one bit, and he loves me.
  15. The IgG value being 14.30 just indicates that it is an established infection. HSV2 just clarifies which HSV you have... It honestly did not tell you anything that you didn't already know. You have genital HSV, and you've had it for a while. That's all.
  16. I'm going to try to be gentle here...so I apologize if it doesn't seem like it. Do you suddenly think your boyfriend is diseased, disgusting, and unworthy of love because he has Oral Herpes? Yes, he shed and gave you genital HSV-1 (still the oral herpes virus, but on your genitals). I am certain he feels absolutely awful about it and was likely uneducated about the fact that he could shed it without a sore or that he could spread it to your genitals. I don't think it was malicious of him or that he was trying to hide it. I suspect that he probably didn't think it was a big deal as long as he avoided contact while he had a sore. He was wrong, but I don't think he was trying to be deceitful. You may be on medication for a while. You may choose to be on meds for the rest of your life. I have never been on meds and never intend to be. I met my boyfriend, disclosed (I am positive for HSV-2, the genital herpes virus), and he never batted an eye about it. He did not find me to be diseased, disgusting, or unworthy of love. He was negative for HSV when we met. He is still fortunately negative and we've been together for a year. If you care for him, why would you shut him out? Let him be there for you. I don't blame him for feeling hurt that you're pushing him away. He is trying to be there for you. If he was a jerk, he would have bolted when you told him. And if you don't end up staying with him, do not worry about dating in the future...you may find people who are not accepting, but there are definitely men out there who will not be put off by it and will want to be with you because of who you are...and you are NOT a virus. You are a woman who has a variety of the herpes virus...chicken pox is also part of the herpes family...so if you've ever had chicken pox or the chicken pox vaccine, you have been exposed to the herpes virus already anyway. This the same family. It is not a death sentence in any way. Breathe. And know that you will be fine.
  17. Not to be a pooper to the party, but even on antivirals, you can still shed HSV while being intimate. I do not know enough about SCID or how bad his immune system is. This is really something he needs to speak with his medical provider about to see what the risks are to him if he was to contract HSV from you. He may be advised that it is too risky, even with antivirals, depending on how bad his SCID is. That said, if you have HSV-2, the odds are that it is genital, so kissing him will not spread it. However, intimacy can, even if you are not displaying symptoms and you are on antivirals. This is really something that only his medical care team can answer as to how or if you can proceed with a relationship without risking his health. And you cannot give yourself HSV-1 if you have HSV-2. They are 2 separate viruses and you also cannot spread HSV-2 to your face once the infection is established in your genitals, according to everything I've ever seen in my research. That all said, he is exposed to germs, bacteria, and viruses daily and he cannot live in a bubble. He may not be scared to be exposed to HSV...and then that brings me right back to him talking to his medical team. Unfortunately, none of us are doctors here, and even if someone is, medical advice should not be given or taken from a site like this. I wish you both the best!
  18. I get waxed every 4 weeks and have never had it trigger an OB. Each person is different. Drinking, poor diet, waxing, stress...none of it triggers an OB for me. 🤷‍♀️
  19. I actually disclosed on our first date. We had met a couple weeks prior and spent hours upon hours on the phone. The thing that made me nervous to disclose initially was that during our first (hours long!) phone call, he made a point to tell me that he was free of all STDs...I didn't say anything in return because I didn't know what to say. I just kept talking to him to see if I felt he was going to be receptive. I am so happy I didn't run scared and that he didn't either after I disclosed. When I first found out a few months before joining the dating app and meeting my boyfriend, I had been out on one date with someone else and in my shock of finding out (via blood test, I had no symptoms...just a doctor that ran HSV as part of an STD panel that I had requested when I decided to start dating), I told him. He rejected me. And I am so happy he did! Because if he hadn't, I wouldn't have met my boyfriend that I have now! And the other guy quickly came around and decided that he was okay with it and wanted to be with me...too late!
  20. I met my boyfriend after receiving my diagnosis. Met him on a regular online dating site. I took about 2 days to feel sorry for myself and then realized that I am the same person I was before the blood test, I am still worthy of love, and that the right man would not be afraid of it and would accept me for me. And exactly as mr_hopp said, I RAISED my standards - and refused to accept anything less than that. And I found a man who exceeded my already high standards. He is amazing, loves me for who I am, and when I disclosed to him, he was not even a little bit put off by it. We have been together for nearly a year now. We are very happy, he is still HSV-negative (and we made the decision together, months ago, to stop using condoms since I cannot get pregnant - he is aware of the potential risk of transmission and is willing to take it), and if things keep going the way they are, I do believe we will be married sooner than later. I also agree that having HSV makes you really consider who you date. When I was online, one of the things I had to consider when talking to some of the men who contacted me was whether I would feel comfortable disclosing to them and what I felt their reactions would be if I did. It made me a lot pickier (see above about standards) and I didn't even waste my time going on dates with someone who I did not feel I would be comfortable disclosing. That all said, when it came time to disclose to my boyfriend, I knew leading up to that date that I was going to do it, and I was scared! I was having dreams about it, playing through different scenarios in my head and when I disclosed, it was so easy...and HE made it easy for me. As soon as that was done and out of the way, everything became easier. Love is out there! HSV is not a deterrent to the right person.
  21. Would your wife be willing to go on suppressive therapy to see if that will keep her outbreaks from happening? The same as for any other medical condition that can be treated with medication, this may help her to feel more at ease with intimacy if she feels she has another method to control the outbreaks. I also think she could benefit greatly from speaking with a therapist because her actions are not healthy for her or for your marriage. She is allowing her fear to affect not only her, but also your marriage. And while I applaud you for being so understanding and accepting of her refusal to be intimate with you in a real way, there will come a time where you will grow to resent her and it is not fair to either of you to be heading down that road. My heart breaks for you because you both deserve to be happy and HSV should never get in the way of that. I cannot imagine what your wife went through to make her feel such shame about something that is really so inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. Would your wife be willing to come here and post and read and get advice from those of us who have been there and done that?
  22. To the best of my knowledge, there is only one strain of HSV-2. There is an HSV-1, which differentiates it from the strain HSV-2 so it would stand to reason (in my mind) that iff there were additional strains, they would probably be labeled HSV-3, HSV-4, etc. I have tested positive for HSV-2 and am also asymptomatic. I would have no worries about suddenly becoming symptomatic by being with someone else who is also HSV-2 positive.
  23. My guy is one of the ones who does not care, has not cared from the beginning. We've been together almost a year and it has never been an issue. When I told him, his response was first to make sure that I said HSV and not HIV...and once he clarified that, he was like, "Oh, so it's just herpes? Yeah, that's nothing." And then basically asked me if we could have sex. lol I don't know exactly why he was never put off by it...I think it's because he's older (we both are) and educated about it and knows that it's not a death sentence. Other than that, I don't know. I like to think that he simply thinks I'm worth the risk. I will also add that in the time we've been together, I've never had an outbreak...and we've been having unprotected sex for the majority of our relationship - I don't recommend this, but it works for us. 😉 I had someone else who I disclosed to before I met my boyfriend (someone else I briefly dated), and he initially was like, "Nope. I don't want to risk my health"...in other words, "You're not worth the risk", which is cool and is his choice. And then after I met my boyfriend and he didn't care about it, and the other guy saw that I am in a relationship with someone and happy, he decided that he also didn't care about the herpes and he wanted me. Too late...and thank God for his initial rejection because my boyfriend now is WORLDS better than this other guy ever could have dreamed to be! So, I firmly believe that HSV has been a blessing to me and is a great way to weed out the asses.
  24. Only you can control if you have the victim mentality...and I'll be the first to say that you do NOT have to "let all the good men pass me by". You need to turn your attitude about HSV to one of it being a blessing...causing you to be more picky about who you let into your life...I found an AMAZING man (meets my standards and then some!) who is HSV negative...and he does not care about my HSV status at all. I disclosed to him before we ever had sex, and his response was that it is NOTHING to him...a complete non-issue. We've been together for nearly a year and everything is still wonderful...I can see myself marrying him. If I'd had the attitude that I had to let him "pass me by" or that I didn't deserve him for some reason, then I would have missed out on someone amazing. Do NOT let yourself believe for even one second that you are not worthy of someone who meets your standards. Good people are good people and the right person will not be turned away by your HSV status. One last word of advice - do NOT do to someone else what was done to you. Disclosure is the right thing to do...and if someone does not accept you for you, then they are not worth your time.
  25. I think he is mistaking not having an active infection for not being infected. You can be not in an active infection (bloodwork may show when you have an active infection vs a latent one), but if you have tested positive for Herpes, you will always have it. I would ask him what your numbers are (both IGG and IGM). I hate how uneducated our medical professionals are sometimes.
  • Create New...