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You're welcome! And, I will say, it was my first Brazilian ever...and it is AMAZING!!! Kicking myself for not having done it sooner. (and my boyfriend LOVED the surprise! lol)

I went for a Brazilian a week ago, and it said on the paperwork that it *can* trigger an outbreak. I did it anyway, and no outbreak. Going back for another one in 3-4 weeks.

I was diagnosed via blood test when I asked for an STD panel at my OBGYN office. I was preparing to start dating, and anticipating that I would be having sex at some point in the near future, so wanted to be sure I could tell any potential partner that I had been tested and was free of everything. Everything came back negative except for HSV2. I hadn't been in a sexual relationship for over 10 years at that point, and had never had an outbreak that I was aware of. Since then, I've been through a LOT of stress, which is said to trigger outbreaks. No outbreak. I eat pretty much everything that I see everyone else avoiding because the foods are said to trigger outbreaks. No outbreaks. I drink alcohol. No outbreaks. I had a Brazilian wax, which is said to be able to trigger outbreaks. No outbreak. I'm starting to wonder if perhaps the blood test was a false positive. You would think that at SOME point, with all the stress, foods, alcohol, waxing, etc...that I would have had at least SOME type of symptoms? I've also read that of those who are asymptomatic prior to diagnosis, a large percentage end up having an outbreak within 6 months of being diagnosed. I'm almost at 6 months, and nothing there either. Starting to think the Western Blot might be a mighty fine idea at this point, just to be sure. Even though my blood test came back and said that the IGG number was over 8, which I just assumed was kinda a sure thing that it's positive, I'm now starting to wonder. I certainly don't want an outbreak, but I would have thought that something would have triggered one by now, right? What would you do if you were me? Accept the results as positive? Get the Western Blot? (It's expensive, which is the only reason I haven't done it yet)

My partner is HSV negative. We've been together for about 2 months. I have never had an outbreak and am not on suppressive therapy. I disclosed to him prior to ever having sex of any sort and he made it abundantly clear that herpes is nothing as far as he is concerned. He wants to be with me, herpes or not. We also have not been good about using condoms. I just had a hysterectomy, so once we are cleared for sex, we don't plan to use them at all moving forward. That said, if I ever do have an outbreak, we will abstain, but I have no intention of going on antivirals since I've never had an outbreak.

No, I've never used one for protection...it's too big and too hard to be used while having sex. They do make a female condom, but I've never used one.

I was diagnosed in October with HSV2 via blood test. I had just started seeing someone and disclosed to him within 15 minutes of finding out...before I had time to research and understand anything. I was emotional, and that caused him to reject me. However, he came around and within a short while was wanting to hook up. I told him no. Then at the end of January, I met an amazing man. I disclosed to him and he told me that it was not even an issue. He didn't care about that because he wants to be with me. It's only been not quite 2 months, but we are going strong, and it has not been an issue. There are people out there who will not let herpes get in the way of a relationship. And those who reject you for that weren't right for you anyway.

The virus can't live outside the body for very long, if at all. I am a Diva Cup user as well, and I just clean mine with Dr Bronner's liquid soap. Don't overthink it.

Women are not the only carriers of HSV. I they were, then it would be restricted to the lesbian community, which it is clearly not. I am a woman who tested positive for HSV. I have never been with a woman. Men can, and certainly DO, carry HSV, too. And, it is easier for a man to pass it to a woman than a woman passing it to a man (statistically). Herpes is not selective with whom it infects. So, if you're bumping uglies with someone in any capacity, and they have Herpes, they can share it with you whether they have symptoms at the time or not.

I had it (with no symptoms) for over 10 years before I was diagnosed via blood test. It's very possible that he has it and has no symptoms. If you got it from him, I would be willing to bet that his IGG numbers would be high, indicating past exposure, and his IGM would be low to none, indicating no recent exposure. Or, it could be the other way. You may have had it for years with no symptoms, and your numbers could be high. It doesn't mean that anyone cheated. It could mean that one or both of you already had it and just didn't know. The majority of those who have it don't know.

This is not going to be popular, but: My boyfriend and I have oral (me giving to him and him giving to me) without any type of protection (and if I'm being completely honest, we also have sex without protection often, except for when I'm in that fertile window - always protected then - don't want any more babies). I am HSV2 positive and he is negative. He knows and he does not care at all that I carry it (I have never had symptoms that I am aware of) and is not worried about whether he gets it or not. The risk is low, and he's willing to take the risk. That said, if I didn't see serious long term/marriage potential with him, I would insist on condoms 100% of the time, but I did my part and I told him. He knows the risk and is willing to take it because he sees the same long term/marriage future.

I disclosed to my partner 2 weeks ago. He not only was okay with it, he was like "that is nothing", and still wanted to have sex. Had a lot of it that night, more a few nights ago, and staying with him again tonight where there will be more, I'm sure. There are definitely people out there who understand that the risk is low, the virus itself is largely nothing to stress about (with exceptions, of course), and know that you are worth whatever chance there is that they might contract the virus from you. In my case, I am asymptomatic and was diagnosed by blood test alone. Doesn't lower his risk of getting it from me via shedding, and he's fine with it. I am not on any antivirals, and he would be a-okay with not using any condoms, bu I'm not looking to get pregnant. He's simply not scared of it and wants to be with me.

I am 40 and my partner is a few years older. We'd only been dating a couple of weeks before we got intimate. I think it has more to do with maturity and understanding than it does with age. My ex-husband is 47 and I guarantee that he would not have been accepting of it...and I can also pretty much guarantee that he is the one who gave it to me. But is an immature uneducated ass. If I didn't feel like my partner was going to be receptive to what I had to say, I wouldn't be dating him, and certainly wouldn't have bothered to disclose because I would never have gotten intimate with him. I really think that being HSV+ really makes us take a good hard look at who we are dating and consider things more carefully...but I was still scared to disclose...but for no justified reason, as it turns out.

I also don't think you did anything wrong. You were sober enough to make sure you didn't have sex with him. I just had my first successful disclosure over the weekend, and things went from innocent to let's get busy really fast. We were drinking, but I was anticipating that I was going to disclose that night, so when things were heading in that direction, I stopped him and told him I needed to talk to him before we went any further. And I told him. And he didn't care at all about it. And we continued with our night. I will admit that in the morning, I questioned whether he would regret moving forward or if he was fully getting what I was telling him. But, he and I were talking that next morning and he commented (not in a bad way, just kinda reliving the night) about me stopping him to talk about it, and then we had sex again, so I'm confident that he really does not care about it. We have mutual feelings that this relationship is IT for both of us, so that could be why. He may be feeling like it doesn't matter if he gets it from me because we're the last people we'll be with. I can't speak for him, but that's my feeling. Until I met this man, I was also feeling like "Is it worth it to potentially be rejected, and maybe I'll just stay alone and never have sex again", but I can promise you, there are some wonderful men out there who will love you for you and will not care about HSV.

Exactly. I never knew I had it, have shared cups and straws with my kid forever, and everything is just fine.

Because I hadn't dated or had sex in over 10 years. 😉

I do. I have an almost teenager. I considered doing the Western Blot, but the values came back at over 8, and from what I've read, they recommend the WB for those who had results under 3.5. I was still thinking about doing it anyway, but the man I'm seeing honestly does not care if I have it or don't, and I can see myself marrying him, so I'm not going to spend the money. If it doesn't work out with him for some reason, then I might get the WB done just to confirm, but for now, it doesn't matter.

I found out 4 months ago that I have HSV2. Had it for over 10 years before finding out I had it via a blood test. Have never had symptoms. I felt the same way. I just disclosed to the man I'm seeing on Saturday and he completely and immediately accepted it, no questions asked. There are good men out there who are not afraid of it, who understand it, and who are okay with it. You'll find that out when you're ready to get out there and date. I am not going to lie, I was scared to tell him, but he seriously did not care about that at all.

Brief background: I was diagnosed via blood test (no symptoms) by a fluke back in October when my ob/gyn added this test when I asked for an STD panel. I had not been sexually active at all in the past 10.5 years, so my exposure was a long time ago, and I am asymptomatic. However, knowing that I would now need to disclose this thing that I was previously blissfully unaware of, I was terrified of haivng to disclose. My first disclosure was to a guy that I had been on one date with, and I told him within 15 minutes of finding out myself...and I was a hot mess. And he rejected me. After about 4 days of allowing myself to cry and be depressed about it, I decided that I wasn't going to hold me back. At the end of January, I started seeing a new guy. This guy is PERFECT in so many ways. He checks off every single box I could possibly think of, and then some. And he feels the same way about me. Well, last night when we saw each other, I just knew that this was going to be the night that we were going to become intimate. I was again TERRIFIED because my first disclosure had been so awful. However, this time was different. I have researched the hell out it, I know it's not a big deal for the majority, and I also knew that this guy and I share some pretty strong feelings about each other. I could see myself marrying him...but yet, I had this *thing* I needed to tell him, and I was still scared that he would reject me. After all, he had previously disclosed on the phone that he is "squeaky clean" of STDs...but I couldn't tell him this over the phone. So, we had some drinks and dinner. Ended up at a hotel since we didn't want to drive to either house after drinking. And things were moving quickly...and then I had to stop him. He was confused and apologized, thinking he had overstepped. I assured him that was not the case, but that we needed to talk first, and that it was not optional. We needed to talk. He went and poured us each a glass of wine and sat down on the couch next to me and asked me to spill. First, he asked me "You were never a dude, right?" No. I asked him if he wanted to Cliff's Notes version or the droning on version. He opted for me to just come out with whatever it was. So, I told him that for other reasons, I had been tested 5 times for STDs in the past 10 years, and thought that they had tested for everything under the sun...except they apparently hadn't. And then I just told him that the blood test for HSV came back that I carry the antibodies and that I am asymptomatic. At that point, he stopped me and said, "So, what you're saying is that you don't have HIV, right?" And I told him that no, I do not have HIV. And his response was "Then nothing else matters. This is a non-issue. Can we have sex now?" And that was it. He has no problem with it, and he did not reject me. Instead, he embraced me and we continued on with our night. SO....don't give up, and don't worry. When the partner is right for you, they won't be bothered by your HSV status. I'm feeling so incredibly blessed to have met this man and cannot wait to see where this goes!

I have never had an outbreak that I am aware of, but have apparently been positive for the past 10+ years. I do nothing different in my personal care. I use Neutrogena body wash, and sometimes use a sugar scrub to exfoliate if I have shave bumps the day after shaving. That's it. Nothing special. I also don't do anything special with my diet, I drink alcohol on occasion, and I just don't let it control my life. This all said, I only found out in October that I am positive for HSV2, and I know my exposure had to be 10+ years ago because that's the last time I was sexually active in ANY capacity. So, when I found out, I just continued with what I was doing since I am asymptomatic. Maybe my advice won't be helpful since I don't have symptoms, but at the same time, it's possible I'm asymptomatic because I just keep on living life and doing nothing different. ?

My first (and only, so far) disclosure was a rejection. I told the guy within 15 minutes of getting the results of the blood test, and I was a hot mess. Did not go about it the right way at all. He said essentially the same thing. That he didn't want to put his body and health at risk, and that although he felt we had a great connection, he just wasn't willing to accept the risk, no matter how long. It sucked, and I was sad about it, but then I realized that I am still the same good person that I was before I got that phone call. It took this guy about a month, but he decided that he didn't care about the HSV anymore, and now regularly texts me, wanting to hook up. And now I tell him no. I am not a hookup. It does feel good to know that he has accepted that and is willing to accept whatever risks there may be, but he was too little too late. I have moved on and am now looking to date someone else. Knowing that this other guy is okay with it lets me know that there will be others who are okay with it, too. And they will want more than just a hookup. I don't want to give you any false hope, but there is always a small chance that this man that you disclosed to will come around and realize that the connection is more important than the small risk. But, I recommend that you don't sit around and wait for him to do that. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back out there. (Before I disclose to anyone else, though, I will be having the Western Blot done to confirm the results. After speaking with someone at UW, they told me that the blood test has over a 50% false positive rate in people who are asymptomatic. I have never had any symptoms of HSV, and have had zero chance of exposure in over 10 years, so they feel fairly certain that my test will result in a negative. So, I'm going to spend the money and find out for sure. No sex and no disclosing until then)

Your doctor is a twit if they don't know what the Western Blot is. Every study about testing for HSV 1 & 2 compares everything against the Western Blot because it is considered the GOLD STANDARD in testing because it has scientists actually looking at the samples under microscopes...not just one scientist...three scientists (I think...maybe four?). If the Western Blot says you do NOT have HSV, then you do NOT have it. Your doctor needs to do some research.

For me, having the ability to come here and read the truth of what people are dealing with, how they disclose, how those disclosures go, learning about different ways that people cope, their stories, etc...is beyond valuable. If we didn't have anonymity, surely many of these stories and helpful posts would not exist and I would have felt SO ALONE when I got the call that my bloodwork came back positive for HSV-2. I can guarantee that I would not have shared my story if I thought that someone could trace it back to me and my identity. I am STILL terrified of disclosing to the new man I've just started dating. The one disclosure I had before ended in the man backpedaling, deciding he just wanted to be friends...even though now he regularly texts me and wants to hook up. So, I guess he got over the 'fear', but I'm not okay with being with someone who judged me so readily, so he can pound sand. Sorry for the sidebar. BUT, what I'm getting at is that without being able to read how others do it, I would have NO idea how to disclose, and I would be a lot more scared to disclose than I currently am...I am pretty sure that I would not have even stepped back into the dating world without this site...and the anonymity that goes with it.

My understanding is that once you contract it and it's out of the initial outbreak, you won't contract it in a different spot again. So, if you have it genitally, you shouldn't get it orally after the fact.

First, if you had your first outbreak about a week after sleeping with him, odds are, he gave it to you. Second, that nurse is a twit. You can absolutely get HSV from skin-to-skin contact. This is why there is still a risk of transmission even with condom use. Regardless if your partner used protection when he was sleeping with someone else, he could have gotten the virus from her, or if he's been positive for a long time, he could have also given it to her. HSV can shed even if there is no active outbreak, and even if there is a condom used. I think the partner definitely needs to be tested. Third, yes, it is possible to be with a partner long-term and not spread the virus to them. Adrial (MrHopp) and his wife are an example of this. He is HSV positive, and his wife is negative. They also have a baby.

I would say that the only thing you would be unable to do is grind on someone while you have an outbreak. Swimming pool - you can go. Sunbeds - you can go Bath - don't see how that's any different from a swimming pool. The virus is spread by skin contact, so you should be fine. Body washes - I would probably stay away from anything that has something like tea tree in it if you have an outbreak just because it might sting, but otherwise, life as usual I have had HSV2 for at least the past 10 years (but was only just diagnosed also almost 2 months ago by chance when my doctor ordered HSV testing as part of the STI testing I requested when getting ready to start my first sexual relationship in 10 years), and I have a son who I have gone swimming with, he has used my shower scrubby when he takes a shower, he's used a towel after me...and he has not contracted anything from me. When I was first diagnosed, I initially freaked out and didn't want him drinking after me or anything...and then I started to research and realized it's not spread through casual contact and that it's been at least 10 years and I haven't spread anything to him, so I wasn't about to freak out about it now. You have a low chance of spreading the virus during sexual contact (4% without antivirals or condoms, 2% with one of those, and 1% with both of those), so you have essentially zero chance of infecting anyone through casual daily life contact as the virus cannot survive without a human. So, use a public toilet (they're still gross, but you won't spread HSV), and go about your life. From what I hear (I am asymptomatic), the outbreaks do lessen the longer you have H. I cannot recall ever having an outbreak, and if I did, it was not anything I recognized as one, so I can't really help you there, but I have seen a lot of people report that the outbreaks get less intense and less frequent as time goes by.