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I'm not an expert (far from it), but it seems to me that with a positive IGM but negative IGG, it would mean that you likely have a very new infection and your body has not begun to make the antibodies yet. I would retest IGG in a few months.

When I found out, yes, I cried...a lot. And I told the guy I was seeing right away, maybe too soon, as I had not yet stopped to research and realize what it all meant. And he rejected me (says he wants to be friends, but I think that after a couple weeks of trying that and him pretty much just wanting to text stuff that is anything but 'just friends', that's not going to work either, so now I am rejecting HIM). But, I am oddly at peace. I had this sudden realization Tuesday night while I was sleeping that I don't NEED this man to make me feel sexy and worthy. I don't need to settle for his sexting and dick pics. I don't need to accept someone who says all the right things but is afraid to touch me. Fuck.That. I am better than that. I DESERVE better than that. And I truly feel GOOD about myself again...after just 2 weeks. It hit me. I have had this for 10+ years. And during that time, I have known my worth. I have known my value. I have known what I deserve in this life, and I have refused to settle. I know what I have to offer someone else. Suddenly finding out that I've had H all this time DOESN'T CHANGE THAT. I didn't date for 9 years because I refuse to settle for someone who has no potential for a future with me. I got to know one guy who I thought had potential. And then a Herpes diagnosis. And it was then I learned that he is obviously NOT the one for anything long-term because he did not accept me for all of me. And I am SOOOOOO okay with that! Yes, I was sad because of the potential that I saw. But, I am strong. I am determined to be happy in my life. I was happy before him, and I sure as hell will be happy after him! If it's meant to be, I will find that guy who is everything I want, who will complement my life, and who will be happy with me. I don't need someone to complete me or make me happy. I am already happy. Being alone is not scary for me. I have been alone (NOT lonely) for years...just me and my kid. What scares me is settling for someone who is not good for me, just because they say they're okay with H, just because I, what, want to have sex? Sure, I'd love to have sex again, but I am not going to compromise who I am or what I deserve just for some D. I may have H somewhere deep inside me. And some may be scared off by it. And that is their loss because I am a damn good woman. And if they can't handle all of me, then they can't have any of me. So, let yourself feel sad at the diagnosis. Feel the pain, let yourself mourn, be pissed off...and then pick yourself up and remember that YOU are still the same person, just a little 'extra' now. And love yourself, H and all.

I think I was lucky in the respect that I had no idea that I have H2 until recently, but I've had it for at least 10 years. I have never been on any type of suppressant, and now that I know I have it, looking back, I can only think of a small handful of what were likely outbreaks, and they were minor at that. I haven't had any outbreak in at least 3 or 4 years, quite possibly longer, so I have no intention to take suppressant meds. I don't know if they will mess with the good thing I've got going right now of having no outbreaks, and I'd rather let that sleeping dog lie. From everything I've read so far (was just diagnosed 2 1/2 weeks ago), outbreaks and shedding decrease as time goes on. I also think that maybe part of the reason I never really had bad outbreaks is because I didn't know I had it, and therefore didn't stress about it. I have since purchased Oregano oil, and will be getting some Melissa (Lemon Balm) oil to use just in case I do get any outbreaks in the future, but unless I find my dream man (and he doesn't have H and wants me on suppressants to further protect him), I do not intend to ever go on them.

This is where I have such a big problem with what you're saying...you were lied to. You had someone who you feel was not concerned about your health. You claim to care about the other potential individual. But, yet you are intending to lie to that person, and no matter how small the risk, you are willing to risk their health. I can guarantee you, if you still spread it to a partner, she will feel exactly as you do...that you lied, that you did not have concern for her health. And if you think word might spread if you have an honest conversation with someone you're in a relationship with, where there is presumed trust, just imagine how word will spread if you give it to a woman without her consent to the risk. If it was me, and you gave it to me, no matter how careful you were....if you didn't give me the option of informed consent, I can promise you, I would warn the other girls after because clearly YOU would not be interested in disclosing to them. I think you do not give these women in your dating pool enough credit. If a man disclosed to me as a matter of intimacy, that information is private. If a man gives me an infection/disease because he was a coward and chose to put me at risk, then I would not feel confident that you would disclose to anyone else. I know I may be coming across as judging and harsh...and actually, I AM judging what you intend to do. And I hope it's harsh. Because what you intend to do is just plain WRONG. There is no justifying it. Just because you were wronged does not make it okay for you to do the same to someone else. If you can't be grown up, then don't have sex.

She can't disclose your information without violating HIPAA. So, if she values her job, she will keep her mouth shut as she is legally required to do. And you are under no obligation to tell anyone anything unless you feel that there is a real possibility of intimacy. I wouldn't worry about it until it looks like it's heading that way, and if he's not okay with that, then it's not meant to be.

I just found out I have H2 about 2 weeks ago. I found out by way of asking my midwife for a full-panel STI testing because I had finally met someone that I felt had potential for intimacy. I insisted we both get tested before we became intimate, and since I had to go in for my annual exam anyway, I had the bloodwork done while I was there. I have not had sex (or had any type of relationship) in 10 years, so to find out I had it now, after so long with no sex was a HUGE blow to me...especially since I had been tested at least 5 times (for other reasons) in the past 10 years, and never was told I had it (it was apparently not part of the testing any of those times). Thinking back, I can now see times when I probably was having an OB, but had no idea what it was because it always coincided with shaving, so I assumed it was ingrown hairs or irritation from shaving. 😕 However, to save my life, I cannot recall any time when I had that dreaded "1st outbreak" that was supposed to be worse than all the others. So, even though I was with my (now-ex) husband for 9 years before I left him, plus 10 years since him, I honestly have NO idea if I got it from him, but I suspect I did because I can't remember any 'ingrown hair' issues before meeting him. I also cannot recall the last time I had any outbreak, now that I know that's what they were. It's been at least 3 years. Oh, and you didn't ask, but the guy that I was thinking had all that potential? He hit the brakes, backed up, and now wants to be friends, he says. And as far as I know, he is not going to go get tested because he's convinced that he doesn't have it...yeah, that's what I thought too. Good thing for him that I insisted on testing before sex...he was ready to sleep with me with no testing and no condom...neither of which were going to happen with me.

I was tested no less than 5 times in the past 10 years (NO partners during that time - was tested for unrelated purposes), and every time, my testing all came back "negative for STDs". I finally met a man that I could see getting intimate with , and insisted that we both get tested, even though I already KNEW I was clean...I mean, I had no less than 5 tests that all came back clean, right? I went and got my testing done and told my doctor "test for everything", already KNOWING that my results would be perfect, and then my world shattered when my doctor's office called me and told me that everything came back negative except for HSV2. I was in shock. Insisted they were wrong. Insisted that I had been tested! I had all the paperwork! I grabbed it and read off all of the tests that were previously done, and they said "That list did not include HSV". And as it turns out, NONE of the testing that I'd had done in the past 10 years included HSV. I told the guy I'd been seeing right away (note to self: don't disclose in the first 15 minutes after finding out...bad idea), before I had even taken time to research what it meant. I'd had no outbreaks that I had known of the entire time, and I had NO idea. He decided that I'm not worth continuing to get to know. His loss... So, all that to say, I fully believe that his testing likely did not include any testing for HSV, and he either had no idea that he has it, or he knew and specifically did not ask for that testing so he could play stupid. I tend to believe it's the first option. He just didn't know. If I had not insisted on getting tested again, just for "fairness" sake of making my potential partner get tested, I easily could have passed it to him and not known.

I can assure you there are a lot of people here (myself included) who were on the other side of the non-disclosure. I have been in a relationship where my (now ex-) husband lied to me and didn't tell me that he had herpes, and I have no outbreaks. And I just found out less than a week ago that I have it. I have had it for over 10 YEARS, and I never knew. I had my right to informed consent taken away from me. And I can promise you, if I was still with my husband when I found out, I wouldn't be after. Not disclosing to someone is not something that is forgivable in my book. And, I personally find it morally reprehensible that you would even consider putting someone at risk because you are being selfish and don't want to be alone. Does it suck to have herpes? YES. Will you get rejected? Most assuredly by some. I was rejected by the man I was seeing. It SUCKED. I could see the potential for a future with this man. BUT, I could not put him at risk...that's a sure fire way to lose someone..and this is not a decision that is solely yours to make. I don't care if your dating pool consists of 3 people. Those people have the right to know what potential risks they are taking. Even if you have no outbreaks. Even if you're on antivirals. Even if you use protection...there is still a risk. And where there is risk, there MUST be choice.

I would personally insist on STI testing anyway, to make sure he doesn't have anything else that could be transmitted to you. Even though I know that I have Type 2, if I will be getting intimate with anyone in the future, I will still want him to be tested, and I will get tested again. It's part of being a responsible sexual partner. Even if you trust each other, sometimes you just don't KNOW...Hell, I've had Type 2 for at least the last 10-18 years and never knew until last week. And wouldn't have known if I hadn't asked for a full STI panel.

My IgG was over 8. They didn’t give me an exact number, just that it was over 8. I have no idea what that means. I’m trying to take care of me right now, but I have zero appetite and am barely eating. I’m not sleeping well, and every time I wake up, it’s the first thing that hits me...“it wasn’t a dream”. I know I’m okay, physically...I’ve obviously had this for over a decade and don’t know when the last time I had an outbreak (realizing now what the outbreaks were), but it has been years. The hardest part for me is going to be trusting a man again. It took me 9 years to be ready to date, and now I feel like my ex has just set me back again, without even trying. Makes me really wonder if he didn’t fully know and not care what he gave me. Would make his comments about if I left, no man would ever want me, make a lot more sense.

ALWAYS Disclose. I was not given the option of informed consent by the person who infected me (my ex-husband). I just found out 2 days ago that I have had H for at least the past 10-18 years and had no idea until I got tested prior to becoming intimate with the man I started dating (who has subsequently slammed on the brakes, backed up, and now wants to "be friends"). And I am ANGRY that he did this to me. I don't know how I would have responded if he had been honest, but he never gave me that opportunity. Everyone deserves the right to be informed and to make their own decisions based on that information. That doctor is violating the oath he took to "first, do no harm" by encouraging anyone with a communicable, life-long disease to not disclose to anyone they could potentially infect. And that pisses me off all over again.

I'm brand new to this (just got my diagnosis 2 days ago), but I plan to do exactly what I did in this past relationship that ended up getting me diagnosed, with an adjustment for the fact that I already know my results: If I am dating a guy and it looks like things are going to go in the direction of intimacy, I will let him know that he needs to be tested for all STDs before anything happens. IF he is serious enough about me that he is willing to go get tested and mature enough to have that conversation, then once he has his results, we will each disclose to each other the results of our tests. It may turn out that the man already has HSV as well and discloses it to me when I request he get tested. And then I can disclose in return and we go from there. Or, he may refuse testing and the relationship ends there. Just because I have already have HSV doesn't mean that he doesn't have something else that he could give me...and I don't want anything else. Or, he may not know he has it and finds out the same way I did...as part of being a responsible sexual partner, getting tested. Or, he may test and come back completely negative for everything and then I need to disclose to him and see if he is willing to move forward or if he wants out. But, I do not intend to disclose at first meeting or even the first however many dates. When I feel like we are ready to move toward the step of having sex, the conversation will be had, but it will be started by telling him that we both need to be tested. I am so thankful that I had my rules of getting tested and didn't just go with the "I know I'm clean", and his "I know I'm clean", and just trust that and get busy. HE was ready to move forward without testing, saying that he trusted me. And I feel that he had no reason NOT to trust me...because I was being truthful when I told him that I was negative...because I did not KNOW. I know he's still reeling and upset with what I had to tell him....but I hope that at some point, he comes to realize that my insistence at both being tested (even though I was CERTAIN I was negative - was tested 9 years ago, been celibate for 10 years - and didn't know that I was NOT tested for HSV) could have saved him from being exposed. He has yet to be tested. For all I know, he may already have it and also not know. I don't know. I guess I'm rambling. But, that's my plan so far...but for now, I think I'm going to just crawl back into my shell and not date again for a long while.

I have been celibate for 10 years (single for 9). I just recently started to date someone. We have gone out, but nothing more than kissed. However, things were heading in the right direction and, wanting to be safe, in discussion, I told him that I wanted both of us to be tested for STDs before we get intimate. I had been tested for STDs since leaving my ex, so I was 100% certain I would get my results and they would be negative. Except the testing I had done 9 years ago did not include testing for HSV. And I got completely blindsided when my doctor's office called me and told me that I was negative for everything, except HSV2. The only person I had been with in the past almost 20 years was my ex-husband, so I'm certain that I got it from him. In hindsight, I have had OB during the past 10+ years, but never knew that's what they were. I always thought they were ingrown hairs caused by shaving, and I haven't had any OB that I can recall in at least 3 years, maybe more. Being an honest person, I told the new guy, and he reacted exactly as badly as I expected. Worse, even. He is now freaking out and convinced that he may have gotten it from kissing me, even though I have never had any OB on my face, ever, and is now saying that he's going to get tested and if he has it, then he will know that I gave it to him, even though I know it is impossible for me to have given him anything, and it would be too early to show up in any blood testing (sorry for that horrible run-on sentence). I've been alone and happy raising my son for the past 9 years. Guess it's time to get back to life before dating because I don't ever want to feel as horrible as this guy made me feel when I disclosed. It was bad enough being told that I was given a virus by someone I was supposed to trust, and I had NO say in the matter because he never told me. But, telling the new guy just made me feel so much worse...like a leper.