Lolo90

I found out yesterday that I tested positive for HSV-2. I have had HSV-1 for years and haven't gotten a cold sore in about 5 years now (knock on wood). I take lysine pills on a regular basis and have an apt next week to go back to the OBGYN to get prescribed Valtrex on a regular basis. I feel so angry with myself that this happened. I am usually very careful, I also don't engage with men very often which doubles my anger. I asked him if he was clean and he said yes. I just got tested a few weeks prior and hsv2 came out negative. Full disclosure, I am a very sexually active and open person, since getting out of a long term relationship I have engaged with multiple couples and most recently, the guy that I believe gave this to me. Now, besides the fact that I feel awful about myself and feel as if no one will ever want to have sex with me again, I now have to go through the process of telling these people should I see them again, which I am not looking forward to. I do not believe any of the people in these relationships gave this to me because they were either recently tested or were quite specific about what they did/did not have. I reached out to the guy I think gave this to me and he got tested this morning so I will find out soon if he has it as well although I strongly believe he does since its been about a year since he got tested. Long story short, I feel so sad and hopeless right now. Granted my index came back low at 1.16 and I have not encountered an outbreak as of yet, I feel like it's the end of the world for me. I have no intentions of dating anyone for awhile since I recently got out of a long term relationship but I do have casual sex and that is going to be 10x harder now than before. I don't really know what to do at this point in time. Any advice/suggestions would be helpful. I am getting tested again in a month in the hopes that this is all just a bad dream and I don't really have this.