Findingmyself

I can completely understand. I’m in hibernation hiding mode since I was diagnosed back in August. I got it from someone on a regular dating site it was the first person I was with in years. I’m a single mom and thought I would try and put myself back out there. I caught herpes from the person who failed to disclose to me. Ever since, I hardly leave my apartment except for work and I avoid anything social. I have turned into a dormant person that just isn’t me. I feel so alone now. I didn’t really have many friends before this but, now I just hide. The emotional roller coaster is over and now I’m just wondering if I’m ever going to be confident again. I wonder if I’m ever going to be able to trust anyone again. I hope I don’t end up alone. 😐

I’m 41 and live in Kihei Maui. I would to connect with someone in the area. I got hsv 2 in August and I’m still struggling in many ways with it.

I was diagnosed with this in late September. I had a mix of emotions and grief. I have decided that I have had enough of being depressed and I’m moving on with my life. I haven’t really dated much since then. I would like to meet someone this year, yet I’m also going to focus on improving myself. I’m working on me. I’m going to improve my overall health, by eating better and going to the gym. I’m going to improve my finances. I’m going to try and become the best version of myself and not continue to let this define me. I have been looking stats up on the internet for months about it to try and find some sense of validation in being someone who has it now. 1 out of 5 women have this. That’s a whole hell of a lot of us! 1 out of around 7 men have it! Most of us have it. Another thing that I found interesting was that they predict that 80% of the population of us will have HPV also at some point in our lives without a vaccine. HPV is more pro dominate. Perhaps we all have something. Sex is scary and it really does come with risks. If someone judges me for having HSV, the chances that they have it or HPV or extremely high. There are a mix of statistics out there but the one that I trust the most is the CDC. Going in to the new year, I feel that this gives me hope and I will no longer beat myself up for having sex with someone who gave me this. At times I feel isolated and alone. The truth is, most of us have it too. So many people who have this, don’t even know. Hey, if we are all walking around with something, I wouldn’t of ever wanted this to be my something, but if I’m so lucky to not get cancer or HIV then I’m grateful. It’s not the best circumstance, but it can really be way worse. Happy new year everyone! I wish us all great health and I hope that we all find happiness.

It makes me afraid to try and meet someone again. Are we all going to end up alone?

No I just think about how traumatic it was when I got this and how ferious I was at the person who gave it to me for not disclosing when he knew about it. I completely understand where you’re coming from as well. It just comes down to doing the right thing. I haven’t really been dating since my diagnosis and I don’t know if I’m going to be anytime soon. I would love to meet someone again but this is one hell of a roadblock in front of me.

I had this same thought last night myself.

After I was diagnosed, I finally was able to hold my head up after a couple of weeks. I was surprised to see that many of my coworkers at work and people that I would see daily happen to of had a cold sore on their lip. I never even noticed before. It then started to occur to me how many people have this and just don’t talk about it. I told my best friend (who is a nurse), about how I got it and who gave it to me. She told me that even her mom has it. My friend said there was a time that she was with someone that knew he had it and disclosed. She still had sexual with him and didn’t even care that much. She mentioned that she had been tested in the past couple of years for it. She assured me that this is so common. It’s now a part of me, but it seems that it’s up to how I view myself is how much it defines me. I’m just not letting it. I felt so distraught and broken just a couple of months ago with this. Statistics made me feel a lot better. 1 in 5 is a lot of us with HSV2. Where around 90% of us have HSV1. After we turn 50, the numbers increase. We are very fortunate that this isn’t life threatening. Life will and does go on. Don’t let it get you down to to long. It’s just a matter of shifting our perspective. Everything is okay. We all are okay. We all are definitely not alone. ❤️

I was exposed in august and was diagnosed by late September. It’s almost December and I’m think I’m at a point where I feel that 1 out of 5 people is a LOT of us. It’s kind of set in and I haven’t had an outbreak for a little while. I feel better about it. Time moves on and so do we. We have this, but so does everyone else. It doesn’t seem like it’s as big of a deal as it was initially to me. I’m in acceptance.

I just wonder how the number of the start changes after age 49. I have been looking on the internet for the answer and I can’t seem to find it. I would assume that it may get higher due to age.

I’m sure I’m just overthinking it all but would you be a little weirded out just a little more because he’s a cop? Ilso random that this is my first date lol.

I using a dating app and a guy that I have been talking to asked me out. He told me he’s a cop. For some reason the fear of disclosing just got weirder. I have spent my whole life ducking out from cops now I might have an interest in one. I don’t k ow how I’m going to tell him this. He’s the first date I have been asked or on since being diagnosed a couple of months ago. Any advice?

I’m turning 41 in December and I actually considered not dating for. Decade until the stats leveled out to my age group. I actually considered being single for 10 years to avoid the rejection and fear of spreading this, or catching something worse. If I did, I think I’m allowing the best years of my life to slip away. I don’t want to be alone.

I have been reading so many stats on the internet about how common this virus is from ages 14-49. It’s much more common than I ever would of guessed. I can’t find info on how common it is on people after age 50. I just keep reading that it increases with age. I was diagnosed with both HSV 1&2 in Sept after briefly dating someone and he didn’t disclose it to me. Now, I’m scared of dating after reading the stats that there a 3x higher chance that I can now get HIV. I’m considering being alone for a really long time out of fear of rejection and a fear that the next person can give me something worse. Any advice or info on how many of us actually have this virus after age 50?

I did help way more than I even expected. I started the medicine 4 days ago. My dr. Said for me to only take it 3x daily for 5 days when symptomatic. I’m so glad I decided to just take it. The flu shot made me feel icky for a day and then it was better. The medicine is worth taking if you have it. My body didn’t get the full break out either. It stopped and the swelling went down. It didn’t blister this time. It made the itching and burning stop within the first dose about 2 hours after I took it. I don’t seem to have any negative side effects to the medicine. I’m pretty grateful for it.

I recently watched a Ted talk with Ella Dawson and something similar happened to her. She said she met a guy at a party and he hit on her by making a joke about how he didn’t have herpes. She came back and said to him that you shouldn’t make fun of people who have that because she did. She said he actually apologized and she ended up dating him for a long time after. I guess if you tell him, the worst thing he can do is back off. If you think there is real chance with him, why not just tell him? Just keep in mind that he may back off or he may actually decide that you are worth the risk and want to date you. I’m trying to put myself back out there right now but, I’m dealing with the same fears of how do I tell someone that I now have this? What’s the worst thing that can happen? If it doesn’t go in your favor, at least it will be practice.