Findingmyself

I can completely understand. I’m in hibernation hiding mode since I was diagnosed back in August. I got it from someone on a regular dating site it was the first person I was with in years. I’m a single mom and thought I would try and put myself back out there. I caught herpes from the person who failed to disclose to me. Ever since, I hardly leave my apartment except for work and I avoid anything social. I have turned into a dormant person that just isn’t me. I feel so alone now. I didn’t really have many friends before this but, now I just hide. The emotional roller coaster is over and now I’m just wondering if I’m ever going to be confident again. I wonder if I’m ever going to be able to trust anyone again. I hope I don’t end up alone. 😐

I’m 41 and live in Kihei Maui. I would to connect with someone in the area. I got hsv 2 in August and I’m still struggling in many ways with it.

I was diagnosed with this in late September. I had a mix of emotions and grief. I have decided that I have had enough of being depressed and I’m moving on with my life. I haven’t really dated much since then. I would like to meet someone this year, yet I’m also going to focus on improving myself. I’m working on me. I’m going to improve my overall health, by eating better and going to the gym. I’m going to improve my finances. I’m going to try and become the best version of myself and not continue to let this define me. I have been looking stats up on the internet for months about it to try and find some sense of validation in being someone who has it now. 1 out of 5 women have this. That’s a whole hell of a lot of us! 1 out of around 7 men have it! Most of us have it. Another thing that I found interesting was that they predict that 80% of the population of us will have HPV also at some point in our lives without a vaccine. HPV is more pro dominate. Perhaps we all have something. Sex is scary and it really does come with risks. If someone judges me for having HSV, the chances that they have it or HPV or extremely high. There are a mix of statistics out there but the one that I trust the most is the CDC. Going in to the new year, I feel that this gives me hope and I will no longer beat myself up for having sex with someone who gave me this. At times I feel isolated and alone. The truth is, most of us have it too. So many people who have this, don’t even know. Hey, if we are all walking around with something, I wouldn’t of ever wanted this to be my something, but if I’m so lucky to not get cancer or HIV then I’m grateful. It’s not the best circumstance, but it can really be way worse. Happy new year everyone! I wish us all great health and I hope that we all find happiness.

It makes me afraid to try and meet someone again. Are we all going to end up alone?

No I just think about how traumatic it was when I got this and how ferious I was at the person who gave it to me for not disclosing when he knew about it. I completely understand where you’re coming from as well. It just comes down to doing the right thing. I haven’t really been dating since my diagnosis and I don’t know if I’m going to be anytime soon. I would love to meet someone again but this is one hell of a roadblock in front of me.

I had this same thought last night myself.

After I was diagnosed, I finally was able to hold my head up after a couple of weeks. I was surprised to see that many of my coworkers at work and people that I would see daily happen to of had a cold sore on their lip. I never even noticed before. It then started to occur to me how many people have this and just don’t talk about it. I told my best friend (who is a nurse), about how I got it and who gave it to me. She told me that even her mom has it. My friend said there was a time that she was with someone that knew he had it and disclosed. She still had sexual with him and didn’t even care that much. She mentioned that she had been tested in the past couple of years for it. She assured me that this is so common. It’s now a part of me, but it seems that it’s up to how I view myself is how much it defines me. I’m just not letting it. I felt so distraught and broken just a couple of months ago with this. Statistics made me feel a lot better. 1 in 5 is a lot of us with HSV2. Where around 90% of us have HSV1. After we turn 50, the numbers increase. We are very fortunate that this isn’t life threatening. Life will and does go on. Don’t let it get you down to to long. It’s just a matter of shifting our perspective. Everything is okay. We all are okay. We all are definitely not alone. ❤️

I was exposed in august and was diagnosed by late September. It’s almost December and I’m think I’m at a point where I feel that 1 out of 5 people is a LOT of us. It’s kind of set in and I haven’t had an outbreak for a little while. I feel better about it. Time moves on and so do we. We have this, but so does everyone else. It doesn’t seem like it’s as big of a deal as it was initially to me. I’m in acceptance.

I just wonder how the number of the start changes after age 49. I have been looking on the internet for the answer and I can’t seem to find it. I would assume that it may get higher due to age.

I’m sure I’m just overthinking it all but would you be a little weirded out just a little more because he’s a cop? Ilso random that this is my first date lol.

I using a dating app and a guy that I have been talking to asked me out. He told me he’s a cop. For some reason the fear of disclosing just got weirder. I have spent my whole life ducking out from cops now I might have an interest in one. I don’t k ow how I’m going to tell him this. He’s the first date I have been asked or on since being diagnosed a couple of months ago. Any advice?

I’m turning 41 in December and I actually considered not dating for. Decade until the stats leveled out to my age group. I actually considered being single for 10 years to avoid the rejection and fear of spreading this, or catching something worse. If I did, I think I’m allowing the best years of my life to slip away. I don’t want to be alone.

I have been reading so many stats on the internet about how common this virus is from ages 14-49. It’s much more common than I ever would of guessed. I can’t find info on how common it is on people after age 50. I just keep reading that it increases with age. I was diagnosed with both HSV 1&2 in Sept after briefly dating someone and he didn’t disclose it to me. Now, I’m scared of dating after reading the stats that there a 3x higher chance that I can now get HIV. I’m considering being alone for a really long time out of fear of rejection and a fear that the next person can give me something worse. Any advice or info on how many of us actually have this virus after age 50?

I did help way more than I even expected. I started the medicine 4 days ago. My dr. Said for me to only take it 3x daily for 5 days when symptomatic. I’m so glad I decided to just take it. The flu shot made me feel icky for a day and then it was better. The medicine is worth taking if you have it. My body didn’t get the full break out either. It stopped and the swelling went down. It didn’t blister this time. It made the itching and burning stop within the first dose about 2 hours after I took it. I don’t seem to have any negative side effects to the medicine. I’m pretty grateful for it.

I recently watched a Ted talk with Ella Dawson and something similar happened to her. She said she met a guy at a party and he hit on her by making a joke about how he didn’t have herpes. She came back and said to him that you shouldn’t make fun of people who have that because she did. She said he actually apologized and she ended up dating him for a long time after. I guess if you tell him, the worst thing he can do is back off. If you think there is real chance with him, why not just tell him? Just keep in mind that he may back off or he may actually decide that you are worth the risk and want to date you. I’m trying to put myself back out there right now but, I’m dealing with the same fears of how do I tell someone that I now have this? What’s the worst thing that can happen? If it doesn’t go in your favor, at least it will be practice.

I guess I wouldn’t continue to see him after he said something like that. It was pretty insensitive. You could come out and tell him that you found out that you have it and he responds. It seems like something that he’s subconsciously paranoid of so he jokes about.

I want to definitely get into using supplements to make this stay away. I had my hesitations about even taking the meds the doctor gave me. I can’t believe the relief it gave me quick. I’m all about it now because it does really help. I think the hardest part of having this is accepting it and being able to find a way to move on. I want to date again soon. Having the outbreaks makes it a constant reminder that it’s a reality and it’s now part of who I am. Mentally I can get past the roadblock, I’m just grateful that I have an option to help me make it not as painful. Oh what I would give to make this go away for all of us.

How long have you had it? I wonder if after awhile I won’t get blisters. Since this is all new to me, I wonder if I will ever meet someone again.

I actually got a flu shot about 4 days ago. I felt sick to my stomach but so did everybody else I knew that got it. I figured that was due to it. I have been feeling itching since last night. Tonight, I felt the burning inflammation and I looked to see if there was anything. I can see 2 small swollen spots where the last outbreak occurred. I think 2 small blisters are about to surface. This is what happened last time. I took my first antiviral tonight. It seems to of helped with the burning..its the worst. My bottle only says to take them 3x a day for 5 days. I wonder why some people take them all the time. I wonder if I stayed on them the first year, if this would subside enough that I would feel normal again. I just got diagnosed sept 28th. I’m curious to see if this outbreak is going to be mild. Itching and burning so far, with 2 bumps surfacing. 😐

I’m right there with you. Mine started again tonight. I’m hoping for the best. I just took my first dose of the antiviral. Everything seemed to of been going back to being okay for me mentally with this diagnosis. I just found out a month ago. I’m hoping that this won’t be as often as time goes on. It’s kind of scary.

I was exposed in August. Symptoms started just days after having sex with a guy who didn’t tell me that he had it. I had UTI like symptoms, fever, chills, then the blister. That one healed and then 4 more popped up close by. I went to the dr and labs said I have herpes 1 in my blood and 2 from a culture. It took 2 weeks for it to go away. I got meds and didn’t need to take them because the outbreak was cleared. It’s been a month. I have stress from other aspects of my life that are making me feel a little overwhelmed. Today, it felt sore in the area that I had the recent outbreak in. I looked and sure enough, I can see little blisters starting to come up from under my skin. I took my first 400mg of Acyclovir tonight. I guess I don’t know what to expect. What I would do to take this away from me and all of us. My life seemed to of went back to feeling almost normal this week. I was in a good head space with all of this and starting to feel sort of like myself again. I wonder if I take this drug everyday if it would keep me from outbreaks. Is this really my life now?

Hi, i just got diagnosed about 3 weeks ago for both types and I would love to find someone to talk to. I live in Maui. I’m 40 years old. I will always do my best to respond.

This. We are all going to be alright.

I was sitting in my doctors office today getting a flu shot and waiting for my antiviral to be filled for the first time. For the first time, I felt like I have come to a place with having this virus where I’m accepting it and feeling somewhat okay with it. The past couple of weeks since my diagnosis were surreal. I have been overwhelmed with emotions of fear, anger, blame, shame, and guilt. I was depressed and sad. I was disappointed in myself for just doing something natural and human having sex. I have been starting to look up and around in crowds of people at work and I see cold sores on their lips and to my surprise, there are many people I know who have this. I wonder if they realize that they have it. It really is out there more than I ever knew. Before I found out that I have it, I would of never of thought anything of it. I feel like I’m ready to turn it over and just let the bad emotions that I have been feeling be released as much as possible. We have it. We have to learn to accept it for what it and and get back to who we truly are. We aren’t this virus. We were simply exposed to it and now are carrying it, just like 20% of the population from aged 14-49. I can somewhat feel grateful that it’s nothing more. If we are all waking around with something, and this is my something, I should probably be counting my blessings. There are way worse things we can have. It’s not easy to accept at first, but somehow I’m getting there. I hope my story helps someone else out there reading this. This forum has truly been the only thing getting me through. Hugs everyone. We are all going to be alright. Turn it over and let it go. There is a freedom in acceptance.

I knew that mine was a new infection because I hadn’t had sex with anyone in over 3 years. I started to get symptoms a few days after sexual contact with him. The blister appeared and soon became a cluster. I went to the doctor and they did blood and a culture of the blister. The blood labs came back pos for HSV1 and not 2. The culture came back HSV2. The symptoms were strong and painful. It was absolutely him that gave it to me. The shock value of hearing that I have not just 1 strain but both was kind of unreal at first. It is what it is and I’m learning to live with it. All I can do is move forward and learn about the virus. I will absolutely always disclose it to any sexual partners for the rest of my life.